Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle

Dorothy Parker:
The sun's gone dim, the moon's turned black; for I loved him and he didn't love back.

Dorothy Parker:
I'd kiss you, but I'm not sure it'd come out right.

Robert Benchley:
You'd have to wear out a pretty large hole in your pocket to lose me, Mrs. Parker.

Dorothy Parker:
I never liked a man I didn't meet.

Dorothy Parker:
I write doodads because it's a doodad kind of town.

Dorothy Parker:
Razors pain you, rivers are damp, acids stain you, drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful; you might as well live.

Dorothy Parker:
Time doth flit; oh sh*t.

Dorothy Parker:
You don't want to turn into the town drunk, Eddie. Not in Manhattan.

Dorothy Parker:
Someone else was using the pencil.

Dorothy Parker:
I may have him mounted.

Robert Benchley:
One would assume.

Dorothy Parker:
I'll wear my heart on my sleeve like a wet, red stain.

Dorothy Parker:
It's as if I were a spoiled virgin, and no one will have me!

Robert Benchley:
You're not spoiled. Just highly seasoned.

Dorothy Parker:
But I can't understand what God is saying, because he's got a mask over his face. Isn't that just like Him?

Dorothy Parker:
Tragedies don't kill us, Woodrow. Messes kill us.

Dorothy Parker:
'This fellow conks me on the head and thus goes my heart.'

Robert Benchley:
'Love conks her all.'