Murder Most English: A Flaxborough Chronicle

Detective Inspector Purbright:
I know what you mean, Sid. A lot of people are goin' to feel snubbed. If there's one thing they can't stand, it's flagrant un-ostentation.

Detective Sergeant Love:
[Sarcastically] He's a lovely fella... straight as an acrobat's intestines.

Detective Inspector Purbright:
[Referring to the victim] Do you know, did he have any enemies?

Sergeant Malley:
Well, let's put it this way: nobody liked him.

Detective Inspector Purbright:
[Sarcastically] Oh, thank you. I do like a big field.

Rodney Gloss:
Marcus, you have made an enemy big enough for both of us.

Detective Inspector Purbright:
[to Love] [Last lines] We are dealing with a cospiracy. Conspiracies are a dreadful thing to sort out. Oh, my God, they're maddening, believe me! [Turning out the door] Don't forget the fire.

Detective Inspector Purbright:
[At the crematorium] Look, I do realize that this must seem terribly improper to you, sir, but it's most important in the interests of justice that the gentleman in that coffin be held for examination.

Curate:
[Somewhat dryly] And what do you propose to ask him.

Detective Inspector Purbright:
[Stating the obvious] The man's dead, sir.

Curate:
[Dryly] So I presumed.

Warlock:
[introducing himself] Mr. Purbright? Warlock. Hang-'em-on-a-nail department. Forensics.

Detective Inspector Purbright:
It just goes to show that, as Marx said, time wounds all heels. Oh, not Karl Marx, sir. Groucho.

Detective Inspector Purbright:
I don't know how this Hopjoy rates as a counter-espionage agent, but if he puts in only half the effort he puts into fornication and insolvency, then I reckon Russia's had it.

Detective Inspector Purbright:
Something is sending all the over 60s around the twist.

Sergeant Malley:
You really think Meadow was murdered?

Detective Inspector Purbright:
I'm absolutely positive.

Sergeant Malley:
How?

Sergeant Malley:
I don't know how, but it was done... somehow or other it was done.

Sergeant Malley:
Then do you know who did it?

Detective Inspector Purbright:
Uh, yes. I know who, and I think I know why, but I don't know how.

Lucilla Teatime:
[to Brother Joe] On one hand it could be most beneficial if the story were to gain ground that little fenwort put lead in the pencil of elderly gentlemen.