Murder on the Orient Express

A.D.C.:
Ah, here's your ticket, Monsieur Poirot. I'm afraid you've still got another hour.

Hercule Poirot:
Then, please, do not wait.

A.D.C.:
Not wait? Hah. After all you've done for us, Monsieur Poirot? Ha ha. Oh. Uh, my general's orders were to ensure your safe departure. He also wished to thank you again for saving the honour of the British garrison in Jordan. The Brigadier's, uh, confession was opportune. I say, how did you do it? Was it the old, uh, thumbscrew, you know, the rack, huh?... Oh. Well, uh, you'll be able to rest as soon as you get to Stamboul. The, uh, the Church of Santa Sophia is absolutely magnificent.

Hercule Poirot:
You have seen it?

A.D.C.:
No.

Hercule Poirot:
Mr. Ratchett, I have made enough money to satisfy both my needs and my caprices. I take only such cases now as interest me, and to be frank, my interest in your case is, uh... dwindling.

Hercule Poirot:
Only by interrogating the other passengers could I hope to see the light, but when I began to question them, the light, as Macbeth would have said, thickened.

Beddoes:
Oh, yes, sir, the Italian gentleman.

Hercule Poirot:
Eh, does he speak English?

Beddoes:
A kind of English, sir. I think he learnt it in a place called Chicago.

Bianchi:
You mean you saw the man? You can identify the murderer?

Mrs. Hubbard:
I mean nothing of the kind. I mean there was a man in my compartment last night. It was pitch dark, of course, and my eyes were closed in terror...

Bianchi:
Then how did you know it was a man?

Mrs. Hubbard:
Because I've enjoyed very warm relationships with both my husbands.

Bianchi:
With your eyes closed.

Mrs. Hubbard:
That helped.

Mrs. Hubbard:
Don't you agree the man must have entered my compartment to gain access to Mr. Ratchett?

Princess Dragomiroff:
I can think of no other reason, madame.

Pierre:
The whistle means that help is near, madame.

Mrs. Hubbard:
And high time, too.

Hercule Poirot:
Time is what counts, Mrs. Hubbard, if we are to complete this inquiry before reaching Brod. I will therefore make my questions as brief as I hope you will make your answers, and the more often you can confine yourself to a simple yes or no, the better.

Mrs. Hubbard:
Well, don't waste time yammering. Begin.

Hercule Poirot:
Your full name is Harriet Belinda Hubbard.

Mrs. Hubbard:
Yes. I was called Harriet after my -...

Colonel Arbuthnott:
He was interested in the future of India. A bit impractical - he thought the British ought to move out!

Colonel Arbuthnott:
Miss Debenham is not a woman!

Colonel Arbuthnott:
She is a lady.

Hercule Poirot:
Cassetti was responsible for her murder. How does that strike you?

Beddoes:
I have often felt, sir, that instead of our employers requiring references from us, we should require references from them.

Hercule Poirot:
Forgive me, Miss Debenham, I must be brief. You met Colonel Arbuthnott and fell in love with each other in Baghdad. Why must the English conceal even their most impeccable emotions?

Mary Debenham:
To answer your observations in order: of course, yes, yes, and I don't know.

Hercule Poirot:
Bianchi, Doctor, has it occurred to youuuu that there are tooooo many cluuu-ues in this roommmm?

Hercule Poirot:
Ah! "Godmother"! Now you have accidentally said something valuable.

Foscarelli:
Hey, what are you reading, Mister Beddoes?

Beddoes:
I am reading "Love's Captive," by Mrs. Arabella Richardson.

Foscarelli:
Is it about sex?

Beddoes:
No, it's about 10:30, Mister Foscarelli.

Colonel Arbuthnott:
Can you give me your solemn oath - as a foreigner?

Colonel Arbuthnott:
It's a USED peep cleaner!

Hercule Poirot:
A repulsive murderer has been murdered repulsively, and, perhaps, deservedly.

Hercule Poirot:
You never smile, madame?

Princess Dragomiroff:
My doctor has advised against it.

Countess Andrenyi:
Ha, ha! He makes it sound like a poison!

For reasons which I dare not even guess, shed a button.

Bianchi:
Now, Pierre, it is cold. Now, we can place Monsieur Poirot in the number 16, which is always kept vacant.

Pierre:
It is taken, Signor, by a Mr. Hardman.

Bianchi:
Then as a director of the line, I command you to place Monsieur Poirot in what we know to be the empty berth above Mr. McQueen's number 4. [Pierre nods; Bianchi gestures to Poirot] Monsieur. [Poirot boards the train, followed by Bianchi, who gives Pierre a look] At least you can get two tips.

Countess Andrenyi:
As is my custom on night trains, I took trional.

[Poirot makes a noise and looks at the doctor]

Dr. Constantine:
Diethylsulphone dimethyl methane. One dilutes the white crystals with water. It is a strong hypnotic.

Countess Andrenyi:
Ha, ha! He makes it sound like a poison!

Dr. Constantine:
As with most sleeping drugs, if taken in sufficient quantities it IS a poison.

Count Andrenyi:
[jumping up] You are not-!

Hercule Poirot:
Ah, you are not accused... you are ex-cused! Thank you both for your help and cooperation.

Hercule Poirot:
If all these people are not implicated in the crime, then why have they all told me, under interrogation, stupid and often unnecessary lies? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Dr. Constantine:
Doubtless, Monsieur Poirot, because they did not expect you to be on the train. They had no time to concert their cover story.

Hercule Poirot:
I was hoping someone other than myself would say that.

Dr. Constantine:
[referring to Pierre] He had the means to do it. The passkey to Ratchett's room.

Hercule Poirot:
And a knife borrowed from the chef.

Bianchi:
With whom he was in league.

Hercule Poirot:
Which he plunged, repeatedly and without motive, into the body of his suitably astonished victim.

Bianchi:
Hercule. I thank you.

Hercule Poirot:
My friend. Now I must go and wrestle with my report to the police and with my conscience.

Hercule Poirot:
[To Pierre and Beddoes, upon discovering Ratchett's body] Ah, touch nothing!

Hercule Poirot:
[After uncovering Ratchett's stab wounds, Bianchi starts to waver] Mon pauvre, if you must go woop-woop, please go woop-woop not to windward, but to leeward.

Hercule Poirot:
[To Bianchi and the doctor as he lights the slightly burned paper to see what was originally written] Observe, memorize! You're my only witnesses!

Hercule Poirot:
Forgive me, I'm only an ignorant Belgian!

Hercule Poirot:
Ladies and gentlemen, you are all aware that a repulsive murderer has himself been repulsively and, perhaps, deservedly murdered.

Colonel Arbuthnott:
Sorry if I hurt the lad. Provocation.