Muriel's Wedding

Rhonda:
Sorry Mum. You know I love you, but you drive me crazy. And you three, what a bunch of cocksuckers.

Muriel:
When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen.

David:
What kind of person marries someone they don't know?

Muriel:
You did.

David:
I want to win. All my life I've wanted to win.

Muriel:
Me too.

Muriel:
I can't stay married to you, David. I have to stop lying now. I've told so many lies... I don't love you.

David:
I don't love you either, but I think I could like having you around.

Muriel:
He said if I ever left him, he would find out who I was living with and shoot them. Then, he'd shoot me, then himself.

Rhonda:
Sh*t, he really loved you, didn't he?

Tania:
Why don't you come have a drink with us? Unlike some people, I tell it like it is.

Rhonda:
The truth? Golly, I tell the truth, too.

Rhonda:
Nicole's having an affair with Chook. Muriel saw them f***ing in the laundry on your wedding day. Stick your drink up your ass, Tania. I'd rather swallow razor blades than have a drink with you.

Tania:
If I feel you've changed, I'll tell you. I'm honest. Unlike some people, I tell it like it is.

Joanie:
You're terrible, Muriel.

Bill:
Deidre Chambers. What a coincidence.

Rhonda:
I had cancer... it's all right, they cut it out.

Cheryl:
You were so full of life.

Rhonda:
I'm not DEAD Cheryl.

Rhonda:
You're right, you are a new person, and you stink. "Mariel VanArkle" stinks. And she's not half the person Muriel Heslop was.

Bill:
Did Perry interview for the police force yet?

Betty:
Yes but they said he couldn't join because he was too tall.

Tania:
Well we, you know, and he couldn't so I... (makes hand to mouth gesture)... and I noticed there was lipstick on it.

Janine:
On what?

Tania:
His dick.

Tania:
He says they're not sleeping together. She only sucks him off.

Cheryl:
Why?

Tania:
Out of respect for me.

Nicole:
B*tch.

Nicole:
Muriel...

Cheryl:
Wait. Let her finish her Orgasm.

Muriel:
Bikkie?

Brice:
Maybe after... I mean later.

Muriel:
When I lived in Porpoise Spit, no one looked at me. But when I moved to Sydney, Brice asked me out and that proves that I changed and I'm not her anymore.

Rhonda:
Her?

Muriel:
Muriel! Muriel Heslop. Stupid, fat and useless. I hate her! I'm never going back to being her again! Why can't it be me? Why can't I be the one?

Coach Ken Blundell:
All the guests are on her side. I should have bought you more friends.

Dierdre:
Beauty Consultant. I advise women on their lipstick, base and eye liner. (to Japanese businessmen) But you should all know about make-up. Your wives must be geishas.

Muriel:
Are you black?

David:
What?

Nicole:
People invite us to parties because they know we have a good time. We're mad.

Janine:
Pah-ty, pah-ty, pah-ty.

Nicole:
It's our ee-mage.

Muriel:
We're mad!

Rhonda:
I've seen your book. You've tried on every dress in Sydney!

Muriel:
That doesn't mean I'm gonna get married.

Rhonda:
Then what DOES it mean?

Muriel:
It means I WANT to get married. I've always wanted to get married.

Rhonda:
Cancer? Oh my God! I am gonna go bald and have to eat macrobiotic food!