My Babysitter's a Vampire

David Stachowski:
[after tackling Ethan] Sorry, bud. I see a ball, I go for it.

Ethan Morgan:
I'm fine. Nothing a hospital can't fix.

Erica Jones:
[Waving] David! David!

David Stachowski:
Okay. This chick is seriously crazy. What's her deal?

Ethan Morgan:
We may never figure that one out. If I were you, I'd run.

Erica Jones:
[Chasing after a running David] I want a love tackle! David! I love you!

Benny:
That girl was a total butter-ears.

Ethan Morgan:
What?

Benny:
Well, I liked everything... but her ears.

Ethan Morgan:
Wow. How are you still dateless?

Benny:
Ha, ha. I don't... know.

Rory:
My parents won't let me download at home. They think the internet is a bad influence.

Benny:
You're already a soulless, undead creature of the night. How much worse can you get?

Rory:
Dude! If my mom knew I was a vampire, I'd be grounded for like a month.

Hannah:
[Evil Hannah is speaking Erica] Are you one of us or just naturally crabby?

Sarah:
Great, Spock has a logical plan.

Erica Jones:
Ew, you just made a Star Trek reference.

Sarah:
Yea, and you recognized it.

Ethan Morgan:
If Harry Potter were here, he'd smack you around.

Sarah:
Did you guys do what I think you guys did?

Ethan Morgan:
Raise dead animals from the grave to get a girl's attention?

Sarah:
Unbelievable.

Erica Jones:
[Sarah and Erica are under the influence of Benny's love-potion] Hey there, handsome.

Benny:
You're talking to me... in school.

Erica Jones:
There's other things I like to do in school.

Benny:
Huh?

Sarah:
[Erica grabs Benny by his collar and kisses him. Ethan stares at them with his mouth open] Ethan! Stop paying attention to Erica! [Points to herself] You're gonna make your girlfriend jealous.

Grandma:
The more those girls loved you, the more they're gonna hate you. Now, how strong was the potion?

Ethan Morgan:
Well, Sarah bought us matching cardigans.

Grandma:
Yep, you're toast.

Ethan Morgan:
Benny, I just had a vision. The coffee from Lotta Latt?, that's what's making this happen.

Benny:
Lotta Latt?? Figures. You'd have to be brain-dead to pay five bucks a cup for flavored bean juice.

Sarah:
Cheerleaders are not normal. They're more evil than us and we're vampires.

Erica Jones:
Sarah, you know I've always wanted to be a cheerleader and now that I'm really hot, I can. Besides, these girls have been telling me to 'bite them' for years. [Erica bares her fangs and winks] .

Sarah:
Yeah. I don't think that's what they had in mind.

Erica Jones:
Oh, c'mon. Who's gonna miss just one?

“Bup bup. In fangs we trust, all others pay cash.”

Erica Jones:
Your such a square.

Erica Jones:
(hissing at Benny) remind anyone of that again, and your toast get it.

Benny Weir:
Got it.

Erica Jones:
Good.

Sarah Fox:
Ugh stake me now.

Erica Jones:
Teenagers are full of junk food and hormones, do you have any idea what that can do to your skin.

Erica Jones:
Wave to the camera guys, you’re gonna be internet stars.

Ethan Morgan:
Sarah! Help this is serious!

Sarah Fox:
In a sec, I’m enjoying you getting your butts kicked by ankle biters.

Ethan Morgan:
Ahh! Their biting my ankles.

Sarah Fox:
Okay, this is serious.

Erica Jones:
Ugh fine.

Rory Keaner:
Benny!

Benny Weir:
Don’t do that, only Benny can Benny!

Ethan Morgan:
Hey. Cool tails.

Sarah Fox and Erica Jones:
Tails?!?!?!

Ethan Morgan:
Come on, Jane’s got a good head start.

Benny Weir:
Tails?!

Erica than covers her mouth with her hands, and shrines into them.

Benny Weir:
Okay guys, drink this. It’ll give you a bit of a boost.

Erica Jones:
I ought to kick your butt for turning us into freaks.

Benny Weir:
Yeah, because before these wickedly awesome upgrades, you guys were totally normal.

Then Erica slaps Benny on the back of his head with her tail.

Erica Jones:
Relax you molio maniacs!!

Sarah Fox:
Erica, stop yelling at them.

Erica Jones:
Why won’t they just nap.

Rory Keaner:
Benny!!

Benny Weir:
Knock it off Rory.

Benny Weir:
Well, you two look better.

Erica Jones:
Thanks to your grandma getting rid of those tails, you escaped an epic butt kicking.

Sarah Fox:
Hey, what was in that energy potion you gave us, it actually worked.

Benny Weir:
A little of this, a little of that, a lot of my blood.

(Erica and Sarah look at him, like they don’t believe it.)

Benny Weir:
Later.

Erica Jones:
I drank Benny’s blood, this is awful.

Sarah Fox:
Yeah, so gross.

Erica Jones:
No, you don’t understand, I liked it. Sarah it was the best. I can’t stop thinking about it.

Sarah Fox:
It’s not your faul, everything tastes good when your hungry.

Sarah Fox:
But not as awesome as the night where I dressed up as butter, and you were salt, and we did the popcorn dance in the theatre.

Sarah Fox:
Pop pop pop.

Erica Jones:
Corn corn corn.

Erica and Sarah:
Six bucks for a small.

Erica Jones:
Don’t try to cheer me up, I am grumpy.

Erica then storms off grumpy.

Sarah Fox:
Pop pop pop