MythQuest

Philthy:
[in order to attract a "fox"... ]... you need a tune-up.

Alex Bellows:
What do you mean? I should change my hair or something?

Philthy:
For starters, and, uh, your clothes, and... your breath.

Alex Bellows:
You know, you should talk, man.

Philthy:
Am I the one chasing the queen of babes?

Alex Bellows:
So what you're basically saying is that - IF I wanted to get closer to Britney - I shouldn't be myself.

Philthy:
Exactly.

Alex Bellows:
[entering cyberspace] Why am I wearing my clothes from home? That's never happened before.

Cleo Bellows:
[having witnessed a myth dissolving before their eyes] Guys, think about this for a sec. I mean, Avia doesn't affect us one way or another, but there are other myths that whole cultures and philosophies are based upon. I mean, what happens to the world if the Gorgos Stone destroys THEM?

Cleo Bellows:
[lead by guards through a throng] God, the way they're staring, you'd think I was a main course at a Viking banquet.

Alex Bellows:
Yeah, and that guy looks like he wants a second helping.

Cleo Bellows:
Shut up, Alex.

Cleo Bellows:
What's going on?

Gwydion:
All accused of crimes in Lord Llew's kingdom are offered a hearing, lady - even his own killers.

Gwydion:
It is the intention of this inquiry to prove that the lady Blodeuwedd conspired with her lover, Lord Goronwy of Penllyn, to murder her husband, our good king Llew Llaw Gyffes.

Alex Bellows:
[from the study] Oh, man, this is whacked, Clo. It looks like you've been put into the wrong side of a Law and Order episode.

Gwydion:
Make no mistake, lady. If we find you guilty, you will join your good husband in death.

Bryn:
Well, one of the things about invisibility spells is that there always has to be a flaw. It's like... a law of magic.

Cleo Bellows:
His Achilles heel.

Bryn:
Could be heel, could be anything, really.

Alex Bellows:
[watching from the study] That's just like what Thor told me. Remember, Balder couldn't be killed by anything but a mistletoe.

Cleo Bellows:
Well, what was his weakness?

Bryn:
Ah, well, Math was smart when he worked out Llew's blessing. He designed in a flaw that was a situation that would never occur. Llew could only be vulnerable if he were standing with one foot in a cauldron and the other on a deer.

Alex Bellows:
[watching from the study] Okay, that's much cooler than a mistletoe.

Bryn:
And the weapon used to kill him had to be forged on a holy day when the forging of weapons was forbidden.

Cleo Bellows:
[recalling the scene] It was all there, the cauldron, the deerskin, the spear.

Alex Bellows:
You know, these guys never learn. You make a loophole, and somebody finds it.

Cleo Bellows:
I knew I should've bought you that speed-reading course for Christmas.

Cleo Bellows:
I remember something about the murder. I wanna make a statement.

Bryn:
[having already won the case] Look, that's not a very good idea. Why don't you just relax, sweet lady? Just relax and enjoy your freedom.

Cleo Bellows:
I can't. I need to tell the truth.

Bryn:
Oh, the truth is overrated, lady.

Cleo Bellows:
Even a woman of flowers needs to be thought of as a woman.

Cleo Bellows:
[on her experience as an owl] I was losing who I was. Every second, my thoughts became more birds' thoughts. I knew I had to touch the stone but I couldn't keep my focus. By the time my wingtip touched it, all I could think about was getting into the night air and hunting.

Alex Bellows:
Yeah. All I could think about was how I was gonna tell Mom that we had to take turns lining your birdcage.

Cleo Bellows:
I mean, nobody cared about Blodeuwedd for herself. You know, it was all about what she looked like, what they wanted her to be, and what they wanted from her.

Cleo Bellows:
[as Alex heads out for his dream date] Hey, Alex, why don't you, uh, try that thing with your hair? I know you wanna look your best.

Alex Bellows:
No. I think now I'm gonna go with feeling beautiful on the inside.

Cleo Bellows:
[describing an oddity in being Blodeuwedd] I don't know, Alex, this one... feels different. You know, all the other ones we've been, they've... they've had a past, you know, a story to them - and you can feel that when you're inside them - but this one, she's... just kind of empty.

Alex Bellows:
Yeah, well, you know, if you gotta be empty, that's a fine-lookin' shell to be wrapped up in.

Cleo Bellows:
Well, I'm glad you're taking this so seriously!

Josh Bieneke:
The mouth lies, the muscles don't.

Barbara Frazier:
We repaired the statue.

Alex Bellows:
That's why you're here?

Barbara Frazier:
What would you say if I told you that the reconstruction is about eight hundred grams lighter than the original?

Alex Bellows:
My father is not a thief.

Barbara Frazier:
But you see how it looks.

Alex Bellows:
Look at me! I'm covered in blood!

Cleo Bellows:
That wasn't you. It's whoever you're filling in for.

Cleo Bellows:
That's, uh, Loki, Norse god of - I don't know - con artists.

Sigyn:
They had to blame somebody. They chose your father.

Alex Bellows:
That's not right.

Sigyn:
That's how it is. You know how people are.

Alex Bellows:
[thinking of Barbara Frazier] Yeah. They'd rather blame somebody they liked and trusted rather than admit they don't know what happened.

Alex Bellows:
We play that parts the gods write for us.

Alex Bellows:
[sarcastically to Thor] Way to smooth-talk the lady, big guy.

Thrym:
The gentle Freyja eats like a man among us.

Loki:
[beguilingly] In her eagerness to come to my lord Thrym's marriage, she did not stop to eat for eight days.

[Thor belches]

Thor:
[at Loki's cleverness] You see? Smart.

Thrym:
The gentle Freyja's eyes burn as brightly as a warrior's on the eve of battle.

Loki:
[beguilingly] In her eagerness to arrive, she did not stop to sleep for eight nights on the road.

Thrym:
[bawdily] And she won't on the ninth.

[laughs]

Alex Bellows:
...but right now there's a guy tied up to a rock with a poisonous snake over his head. Now, I would love to call in Amnesty International but I think it's a bit out of their jurisdiction, so I'm gonna do something about it myself.

Cleo Bellows:
I liked that you cared about Loki and you wanted to help him - that's one of the great things about you - but just because you feel sorry for a guy in prison doesn't mean you should set him free.

Max Asher:
I'm getting older. I just had a... a dizzy spell. I'm fine.

Alex Bellows:
What did the doctor say.

Max Asher:
Open wide and say "ah."

Alex Bellows:
What's with the smile?

Max Asher:
[chuckles] It... it's almost second nature to you. Have you listened to yourself? You talked to Apollo. Now you're going to Egypt. I spend half my life studying wall paintings and hieroglyphics, but you're gonna BE there. You're gonna meet the gods or the pharaohs. It's quite an adventure.

Alex Bellows:
Well, I'd trade places with you.

Max Asher:
[suddenly downcast] No, I-I don't think you would.

Alex Bellows:
[still winging an impromptu speech as Osiris] This was one small step for a god, and one giant step for Egyptian-kind!

Cleo Bellows:
What did I say? You're a hit!

Alex Bellows:
[to the crowd] I'm the king of the world, huh?

Alex Bellows:
They like me. They really like me.

Alex Bellows:
How do they do that?

Cleo Bellows:
Oh, trained from birth.

Isis:
Chosen from heaven.

Cleo Bellows:
Or that.

Cleo Bellows:
That's the goddess Isis. She's Osiris's wife.

Alex Bellows:
I could like that.

Cleo Bellows:
[as Alex and Isis kiss] She's also his sister.

Alex Bellows:
[a little repelled] Mmm! Okay.

Cleo Bellows:
Well, it's not that weird. Lots of royalty does it, you know, trying to keep the bloodlines pure. Uh, Egyptian gods, the Greek gods, Hapsburg princes. They all did it.

Alex Bellows:
Yeah. It's just a little creepy.

Cleo Bellows:
Well, I'm not arguing that point.

Philthy:
Look, uh, I think I know what's going on.

Cleo Bellows:
You do? No, you... probably don't.

Philthy:
Look, I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but, um, I can read people pretty well. I know Alex doesn't want me around anymore, but, uh, that's cool. He's just too nice to say, that's all.

Set:
[as Alex gets measured] The entire garment will be crafted from the finest linen and threaded with pure gold.

Alex Bellows:
Wow.

Tailor:
My king, shoulders back, if you please.

Set:
It'll be studded from neck to hemline with the rarest of jewels imported from Nubia by skiff.

Alex Bellows:
You're gonna let me wear this thing? I promise I won't spill anything on it.

Alex Bellows:
Well, I can tell you one more thing I'm gonna bring to this world - cargo pants, so we don't have to wear these skirts anymore.

Alex Bellows:
[seeing no reaction] It's a... it's a joke.

[Anubis asks Uncle Osiris/Alex to read to him but Alex/Osiris can't read hieroglyphics, which he/Osiris invented, so... ]

Alex Bellows:
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, their lived a poor shepherd boy called Anubis. He lived with his uncle and aunt, who mistreated him, but what Anubis didn't know, he would be one day destined to take over the rebellion that would take over the evil empire - because Anubis was a Jedi Knight.

Set:
Egypt and the rest of the world were fine before anyone learned to scribble language on papyrus.

Nephthys:
It's really quite an interesting thing. Perhaps you should try it.

Set:
What? Learn to read and write? What a ridiculous way to communicate when one can simply talk!

Set:
Things were clearer, SIMPLER before. There was a more defined separation between the peasants and us.

Cleo Bellows:
Well, according to some versions of the myth, Orisis was actually Anubis's father.

Alex Bellows:
Oh, man. Don't tell me Nephthys is my sister, too.

Cleo Bellows:
Look, just be careful of Set, okay? He really has it in for Osiris.

Alex Bellows:
Yeah, well, if Osiris is having babies with his wife, I don't blame him. Who needs that kind of soap opera?

Cleo Bellows:
He's always been jealous of you. I mean, it's not just about Anubis. He hates everything you do.

Alex Bellows:
Are we talking Jan and Marcia Brady jealous or Cain and Abel?

Cleo Bellows:
Oh, no...

Alex Bellows:
Okay, can we just make a rule right now: whoever stays in the study does not say "Oh, no" in that tone of voice?

Alex Bellows:
Why don't you go and try to attack your father for once?

Anubis:
No.

Alex Bellows:
Why not?

Anubis:
He doesn't scream for his life like you do.

Alex Bellows:
[forced to give an impromptu speech as Osiris] Friends, Egyptians, countrymen... uh... I... I have... a dream... that... my children...

Alex Bellows:
[to wife] If I have any, right?

[wife shakes he head]

Alex Bellows:
...uh... uh... will one day live in an Egypt where they will be judged by the content of their character and not by the... by the funny-looking animals that they wear on their heads, huh? That's right.

Cleo Bellows:
[back in the study, enjoying his discomfort as the crowd cheers] God, you suck.

Alex Bellows:
[under his breath through a forced smile] Ah, just a little help here would be great.

Cleo Bellows:
No way. This is too good. I mean, don't worry about it. You're a god. They're gonna love you whatever you say.

Philthy:
How come every time I come over to see you guys, it's like I'm walking into a spy movie?

Cleo Bellows:
Well, maybe it's because some people have more on their minds than the latest muscle car magazine.

Tailor:
[at Alex'/Osiris' funeral] Lovely affair, don't you think? These Egyptians really know how to throw a party. I must say, though, the guest of honor doesn't seem to be enjoying himself, does he?

Matt Bellows:
If I could get my hands on you, there'd be two funerals today.

Tailor:
When all is said and done and I get my full power back, I'll find you a place in a nice, violent myth to work off all that aggression, killing and being killed till the end of time.

Tailor:
Even demons have feelings, you know. How else could one be sure to cause so much suffering if one didn't have a certain amount of empathy?

Cleo Bellows:
Both you and I know that Gorgos did something. He changed the myth somehow.

Matt Bellows:
I intend to thank him properly if I ever get the chance.

Set:
People of Egypt, behold the man who killed your beloved king.

Matt Bellows:
What?

Set:
He is a foreigner and a wizard. Only his death will avenge the murder of the beloved Osiris.

Cleo Bellows:
Where'd you learn to fight like that?

Matt Bellows:
You don't spend as much time as I have dealing with the crooked, two-way, shady antiquities brokers without learning how to take care of yourself.

Matt Bellows:
The Egyptians believe that the Ka, the spirit, couldn't pass into the afterlife if the body wasn't intact.

Cleo Bellows:
So, what are you saying?

Matt Bellows:
Later in the Osiris myth, Set cuts Osiris' body into fourteen pieces to prevent it from entering the next world. That's why we have to get there first. Once Alex is back home safely, Set can do anything with Osiris that the myth needs him to do.

Cleo Bellows:
Maybe I'm glad you didn't tell me this earlier.

Cleo Bellows:
Asher, is there something you're not telling us?

Max Asher:
Uh, what do you mean?

Alex Bellows:
We've become experts at not saying what we wish we could say.

Matt Bellows:
According to the story, when Osiris's sarcophagus reached Phoenicia, the god of the great green sea wanted to make a suitable resting place. He sent waves to throw the coffin onto the shore and planted a tamarisk tree underneath it. Almost overnight, the tree grew around the sarcophagus to protect it.

Cleo Bellows:
You're telling me that Alex is inside that tree?

Matt Bellows:
Queen Astarte heard about the tree, which was known far and wide as the most beautiful in the land. She had it transplanted to sit right here in her court.

Cleo Bellows:
[sighs] Great. So all we need to do is tell her we're gonna cut down her centerpiece and go.

Max Asher:
Lily, I think Matt found the Gorgos Stone.

Cleo Bellows:
When did you become the big Asian expert.

Alex Bellows:
Oh, never underestimate the power of anime, my sister.

Alex Bellows:
[arriving inside a new role] Oh, man, it's freezing. Why do I always get the cold myths, huh? Feels like Antarctica out here.

Alex Bellows:
We supposed to be cutting wood or something, 'cause I could swear these are trees we're passing?

Mosaku:
Of course these are trees, boy - ordinary trees which yield ordinary wood - but we're searching for something out of the ordinary. When we travel across the river, we find trees like no other - richer grains, and the color is deep red. The people call them "The Blood Trees." Ah, don't tell me you're not thinking of building a chest for your ladylove.

Alex Bellows:
I don't know if I have a ladylove.

Mosaku:
Maybe it's because you haven't built a chest for her yet.

[Mosaku takes a fall]

Alex Bellows:
You okay?

Mosaku:
[covering up his blood] I'm all right. I'm all right. I did that just to prove how well I bounce.

Mosaku:
Everything tastes better when you cheat Death, Minokichi.

Mosaku:
The Yuki-Onna is the scourge of the Blood Forest. She's an ice demon, a creature of cold - floats through the trees like a... a wraith, stalking travelers, hungry for their warmth and their blood; then, with a terrifying shriek, she swoops to kill, freezing her prey with fear, then... then... drinking her fill.

Alex Bellows:
Wicked. I love a good ghost story.

Mosaku:
Who said this was a story? Eh, they say that the Yuki-Onna spills the blood of her victims. The roots of the trees drink it up, and that's why the wood is red. And that's why you can hear the trees moan in the wind.

Yuki-Onna:
Consider yourself fortunate, Minokichi. Never before have I denied myself the warmth of a human's blood, but your life comes with a price. Swear you won't tell a soul what you saw tonight. Swear it. Say the words.

Alex Bellows:
I swear.

Yuki-Onna:
I will know if you break your word. Understand that.

Alex Bellows:
Y'ever heard about Yuki-Onna?

Cleo Bellows:
No, never, but I can look it up. I mean, how many Japanese snow demons can there be?

[having sought shelter in a night blizzard, Alex opens the shelter door to find springtime in mid-morning full flower outside]

Alex Bellows:
Oh, man. I've heard of quick winters, but this is ridiculous.

Yuki:
I'm looking for a woodcutter named Minokichi.

Alex Bellows:
Well, it's your lucky day.

Yuki:
You're Minokichi?

Alex Bellows:
Have been all day.

Max Asher:
The Gorgos Stone is something that people in archeology have heard rumors of but very little about. If you believe the stories, Gorgos was a trickster god. He didn't have a myth of his own. He lived to corrupt the myths of other gods.

Cleo Bellows:
Sounds like a pretty easy way to make some serious enemies.

Max Asher:
Exactly. The story goes that the gods banded together and trapped him within a stone. According to the legend, the stone was hidden so no one would ever be able to release him into the world again.

Alex Bellows:
Man, seems like a lot of work just for tea. Back home, we just throw in a few bags.

Yuki:
The tea ceremony is an art form. Through one's interpretation of the age-old ritual, one expresses something inside them, or something they feel for someone.

Cleo Bellows:
Speaking of looking for Dad, what're you doing sleeping in some strange cottage?

Alex Bellows:
It's Yuki's house, although I don't remember falling asleep. I think this myth is moving forward.

Cleo Bellows:
Alex, you've got to start thinking more about finding Dad and less about romance.

Noriko:
Walk on, Minokichi, but realize that what happened to my husband could happen to you or to your children.

Alex Bellows:
[taken aback] I've... I've got kids?

Cleo Bellows:
Terrific. My return to the social scene involves false medical history.

Alex Bellows:
[finding himself the center of attraction at a party] So Orpheus was some kind of artist?

Cleo Bellows:
I'm disappointed in you, Alex.

Alex Bellows:
Spare me.

Cleo Bellows:
He was basically the first rock star, only Greek.

Alex Bellows:
And, uh, that's why all the women.

Cleo Bellows:
You didn't think that they were were throwing themselves at Alex Bellows, did you?

Alex Bellows:
[checking out his reflection] Oh, yeah! I would DEFINITELY date me.

Cleo Bellows:
Jeesh, maybe I should let you be alone with yourself.

Alex Bellows:
[still gazing at his reflection] Good thing you got the brains, Clo, 'cause I definitely got the looks.

Cleo Bellows:
Just remember: Orpheus' life turns out to be a tragedy, so be careful.

Alex Bellows:
Is that why I brought my harp?

Cleo Bellows:
[correcting] Lyre.

Alex Bellows:
No, really. I got a harp.

Charon:
[guarding the entry to the afterlife] This is a bad place for a hike.

Alex Bellows:
Yeah, so I'm told.

Cleo Bellows:
Alex, if I know my Orpheus, I'd get out my lyre and I'd play.

Alex Bellows:
What?

Cleo Bellows:
Look, just pretend I'm your muse, okay? And when your muse says play, you play.

Gorgos:
You're not just a man who lives in myths, Dr. Bellows. You're a man who believes his own fairy tales.

Alex Bellows:
[staring down the passageway to Hades] Paved with good intentions?

Jades:
This is MY HOUSE! There is no music in my house.

Alex Bellows:
Look, if you know who I am, I need your help. My wife, her name is Eurydice...

Jades:
She's already here.

Alex Bellows:
She died too soon, too young.

Jades:
Not your decision.

Alex Bellows:
But it was my fault that she died. It's not fair.

Jades:
Even if that's true, your wife is not the only reason you're here. Is it? You search every face.

Jades:
[to Persephone] He wants more than Eurydice.

Jades:
[to Alex] Your father... is not... here.

Alex Bellows:
I was a total phlegm, I know that. No man should treat his wife the way I treated you.

Eurydice:
You're... so hard to understand.

Alex Bellows:
Oh, no, I'm pretty easy to understand. Ask anybody who understands me.

Alex Bellows:
Okay, looks like I'm the guest of honor.

Cleo Bellows:
Well, don't stuff yourself with too much guacamole.

Cleo Bellows:
By the way, what's with the blue paint?

Alex Bellows:
[notices he's decorated with blue paint] I don't know. It's festive, I guess.

Cleo Bellows:
On Mars, maybe.

Tezcatlipoca:
The sacrifice of the flowery death IS the way of the Toltec. His beating heart is the bloom that makes our peace with the gods.

Quetzalcoatl:
The gods have no interest in this boy's blood.

Tezcatlipoca:
The reason we have no rain is because you have failed to give the gods their due. You have made them angry with the chosen people.

Quetzalcoatl:
Angry? No. The gods inspired me to lead these people out of the Teotihuacan, to escape from all of this.

Tezcatlipoca:
Our tradition tells that they thirst for blood. In return, they give us corn and health. If you don't have the strength to appease them, I promise you, I do.

Alex Bellows:
You should see the room they gave me clothes in, like the size of our house. It's got this stone tub with running hot water.

Cleo Bellows:
Hey, Mr. Better Homes and Gardens, don't forget you're still supposed to be looking for the Gorgos Stone.

Alex Bellows:
Maybe I'll find it in my hot tub.

Quetzalcoatl:
[hearing Alex talking with Cleo] Communing with the gods, Xunak?

Alex Bellows:
Well... trying to. Not getting very much of a response, though.

Quetzalcoatl:
No, often that's the way it goes with the gods.

Xahil:
Without rain, the corn will not grow and the people will all die. They would gladly sacrifice you, your family, everyone you know and care about in order to make the heavens open.

Quetzalcoatl:
When he comes to you and says "Die for the gods," you will know that I already died in your place. And let that be the end to the horror!

Alex Bellows:
[finding Cleo near the screen while it's on] I thought we had an understanding here. We wouldn't turn it on until I was ready to go in.

Cleo Bellows:
That's the thing.

Alex Bellows:
What's the thing?

Cleo Bellows:
It's not about US, Alex. It's about you. I mean, you go in there and you look for Dad, and I sit around and watch.

Alex Bellows:
No, look...

Cleo Bellows:
You think because you're the guy, the big hero, you get to do it and I don't?

Alex Bellows:
No, Cleo, it's not about that...

Cleo Bellows:
Like, like, you can take it and I can't?

Alex Bellows:
Look, it's not some video game from some big screen PC, okay? It's real in there.

[Cleo hands Alex a book on female heroine figures]

Alex Bellows:
Look, I-I know it's not just guys in there - okay? - but they didn't exactly have sidewalk ramps in the mist of time.

Cleo Bellows:
[appearing in cyberspace] My legs! I can feel my legs!

Alex Bellows:
[seeing her on the screen] Oh, my god, you're walking.

Red Wolf:
It's true, good things come from under the water, but you have to be careful what you say to Walloha. Spirits... They always want something.

Cleo Bellows:
Stop the killing.

Walloha:
Peace is costly.

Cleo Bellows:
How costly?

Walloha:
To save your people? Your life.

Eliaures:
Is there any man willing to take turns with me at the beheading game? Allow me to chop off your head tonight and one year from now, on Christmas Eve, you may chop off mine.

[all in the court laugh]

Maleager:
Some challenge! So... what?... you would keep your promise to a dead man?

Eliaures:
I would. Would you?

Maleager:
This is ridiculous.

Eliaures:
Well, suppose I reverse the terms, then. You chop off my head and, in one year, I will return and chop off yours.

Maleager:
Now, what kind of trick is this? This isn't a real challenge. No knight would accept it.

Eliaures:
Arthur's knights are no braver than the others. You were supposed to be a king among kings.

Sir Lancelot:
I know what my honor demands. I should turn in my sword. I should leave the country. I should give my life before I betray my friend, my king.

Alex Bellows:
So why don't you?

Sir Lancelot:
This love is beyond all common sense. It's beyond honor.

Alex Bellows:
They're Knights of the Round Table, Clo. Fighting fair is more important than winning.

Merlin:
I was really hoping you were going to find a way to keep those two apart, but nothing seems to stop them rushing towards their fate, no matter what WE do about it.

Alex Bellows:
Yeah, only this time, Sir Caradoc winds up in the dungeon because of me.

Merlin:
Mmm. That is a different version of the story. Now, where do you suppose Arthur got that idea?

Alex Bellows:
I thought you knew everything.

Merlin:
Oh, legends get boring when they get set in stone, don't you think? This one's so much more interesting now that no one knows how it's going to end.

King Arthur:
This court will not last forever, but it will always be worth remembering.

Merlin:
Fate... is overrated.

Cleo Bellows:
I hate being different. It always feels like people are staring at me.

Jennie:
Welcome to the real world. Everyone feels like that, Cleo. I mean, why do you think Erica Goldblume dyed her hair pink and got the nose rings? She wanted to make sure she knew what they were staring at.

Alex Bellows:
I owe you one.

Cleo Bellows:
You owe me ten, but who's counting?

Shaha:
There's a story coming for you. Death. Birth. Loss... and prosperity.

Cleo Bellows:
What do you want?

Shaha:
Your father is dying and your brother's by his side. Listen up! Your story begins! Go inside!

Father:
Where were you, daughter? Were you out gathering in the corn?

Mali:
[scoffs] She was out gathering in the sun. Your daughter is one who dances first and works later.

Mali:
I always work hard with our father for our clothes and our food. Well, now they're mine.

Cleo Bellows:
What're you trying prove? You got what you wanted.

Mali:
And you have nothing.

Cleo Bellows:
I have his blessing.

Mali:
Good luck eating that.

Shaha:
He who tastes bitter things will eat sweet things as well.

Cleo Bellows:
Hey, you know this place. Are there any edible roots or berries around here?

Shaha:
I'm not your guardian angel, just your storyteller.

Cleo Bellows:
Even if it's a story about me starving to death?

Shaha:
If that's the story.

Shaha:
I told you I could be as frightening at times and harmless at others, just like anyone. We all live under different disguises. Who do you see when you look in the mirror?

Cleo Bellows:
Well... I see Radhi.

Shaha:
Most people do not see who they are. They see who they wish to be or who they fear they are becoming.

Shaha:
The evil spirit of a man is a man. It does not take a demon to make a man do harm.

Cleo Bellows:
Why is he so angry at me?

Shaha:
He sees what he does not have.

Cleo Bellows:
But he got what he asked for.

Shaha:
That is not always happiness. Mali got the property, but he also got a wife who spends it as fast as he earns it. It is never enough.

[Cleo declares that her own brother, Mali, has made it so that she can never be happy again]

Shaha:
He can't decide that, blessed one. Only you can. See what happens, THEN you decide whether it is blessed or cursed.

Shaha:
A snake does not walk. A snake does not have hands. Some say the snake is a creature cursed to crawl, and there are others who believe that, without the snake to cut the channels in the earth, the rivers could not bring life to the land.

Shaha:
"Cooling of the tongs is not the end of the forging."

Cleo Bellows:
You have a million of those, don't you? "Cooling of the tongs" - what does THAT mean?

Shaha:
When one story ends, where does the next one begin?

Cleo Bellows:
What's the end of THIS story?

Shaha:
I'm not telling. Let it come. Hurry-hurry gets you nowhere.

Shaha:
My people's stories ARE my people. The stories can not change.

Cleo Bellows:
I hope you're right. D'you know what happens if the stories DO change, or get lost?

Shaha:
Never happen. When the snake sheds his skin, the old snake - the same snake - emerges to live again. When the story ends, the same story begins again.

Cleo Bellows:
That's the way it should be.

Shaha:
Without my people's stories, they would lose their way.

Philthy:
I was supposed to be workin' at the coffee shop today but, luckily, it got shut down by the health inspector.

Cleo Bellows:
You know what I'm thinking?

Alex Bellows:
Alice through the looking glass.

Cleo Bellows:
A world within a world within a world.

Alex Bellows:
Maybe I can be Giocomo's shadow again.

Cleo Bellows:
This isn't Peter Pan. There's no Wendy with a needle and thread.

Alex's Doppelganger:
Mm, Mom, you are a sauce genius.

Lily Bellows:
Well, in that case, dip away.

Lily Bellows:
Alex thinks that your father is lost inside his computer and that you and he go in there looking for him and you play all sorts of different personalities while you're at it.

Cleo Bellows:
He said that?

Lily Bellows:
Kind of like a multiple personality disorder, so I'm trying to put together the pieces and I... I don't know what's going on with him. I really don't. It just came on so fast, I thought... maybe drugs.

Cleo Bellows:
Telling Mom was completely insane - and cruel.

Alex Bellows:
Telling Mom what?

Cleo Bellows:
Alex, don't play games.

Alex Bellows:
I'm not! What did I tell Mom?

Cleo Bellows:
Everything!

Alex Bellows:
What's everything?

Cleo Bellows:
The portal!

Alex Bellows:
Are you crazy?

Cleo Bellows:
Well, Mom sure thinks YOU are.

Alex Bellows:
Now, Cleo, what kind of dumb joke IS this?

Mr. Maloney:
Dracula sucked people's blood and turned 'em into vampires. You're... okay with that?

Alex's Doppelganger:
He was lonely. Everybody needs somebody to play with, Mr. Maloney.

Cleo Bellows:
I have a shadow. You don't.

Alex Bellows:
If I don't have a shadow, that means I'm dead.

Alex's Doppelganger:
Hi. Cat got your tongue, or is it me?

Alex's Doppelganger:
Where's my stone?

[Alex doesn't know what to say]

Alex's Doppelganger:
Are we having problems hearing, Alex?

Alex Bellows:
I'm not who you're looking for... Gorgos.

Alex's Doppelganger:
Well, who should I be asking, then?

Alex Bellows:
My father.

Alex's Doppelganger:
Your father? Well, he's not very much help, now, is he?

Alex Bellows:
So you know where he is?

Alex's Doppelganger:
You don't know where my stone is, do you? Oh, well. I guess I'll have to stay being Alex Bellows for a little longer. Actually, I'm kind of enjoying it.

Alex Bellows:
Where are you going?

Alex's Doppelganger:
There's a big hole in the world, Alex, and I'm going to plug it.

Alex Bellows:
Wait!

Alex's Doppelganger:
For what? You failed, Alex. You never found Daddy.

Alex Bellows:
It's not over.

Alex's Doppelganger:
Oh, yes, it is. You see, I'm your better half, and I'm not gonna give it up. See ya.

Alex's Doppelganger:
Hello, Barbara.

Barbara Frazier:
[startled] You scared me half to death, Alex.

Alex's Doppelganger:
Just half, huh?

Cleo Bellows:
[seeing Barbara in cyberspace] What did you do?

Alex's Doppelganger:
Something a better man would be ashamed of. Moses won't be around for a few hundred years, so Barbara's gonna be stomping on straw and mud for the rest of her life.

Alex Bellows:
Oh, my god! Barbara! She's in Egypt! What're we gonna tell Mom?

Alex Bellows:
Ah! I have my shadow back! Ha-ha! I LOVE MY SHADOW! Ha!

Cleo Bellows:
Uh, well, that's nice, Mr. Head-Case.

Contessa Juietta De Medi:
How did you get in here?

Alex Bellows:
I, uh... I slipped under the door.

Contessa Juietta De Medi:
Mama mia, when was the last time you ate?

Alex Bellows:
Lunch.

Contessa Juietta De Medi:
Why, you look awful! Oh. Does the Contessa Julietta de Medici not pay you enough?

Alex Bellows:
No, no, no. It's not you. It's the cafeteria food.

Matt Bellows:
Oh, man. I found the Gorgos Stone.

Matt Bellows:
Gorgos! I know who you are.

Gorgos:
And who are you?

Matt Bellows:
My name is Matt Bellows. You're supposed to be pinned in your stone forever.

Gorgos:
Thanks, Matt Bellows, but it's too late now. I'm free, and the gods who trapped me there - they will all come to regret it!

Cleo Bellows:
[able to speak to Alex after he's sucked into cyberspace] Are you okay?

Alex Bellows:
No. Why, do I look scared?

Cleo Bellows:
I didn't say scared, I said okay.

Alex Bellows:
Where am I?

Cleo Bellows:
On Crete, in Knossos. You have to get out of there.

Alex Bellows:
That's a good idea. Exactly which bus do I take?

Daedalus:
Actually, the young lady who needs a shave is quite right.

Kadilus:
I'm here to plead for the Minotaur's life. I'm here to beg you to walk away, to let him be.

Kadilus:
Oh, dear. I woke the baby. Chow time.

Max Asher:
Listen, in archeology, most days you don't find King Tut's tomb. You find a broken pot. It takes a while to put it together, to figure out what you DO have.

Cleo Bellows:
We don't know where to look next.

Max Asher:
Maybe you should look back at where you've been. Maybe there's a pattern you haven't seen yet.

Alex Bellows:
We're not going in anymore.

Cleo Bellows:
What?

Alex Bellows:
This has totally consumed us, Cleo. We keep going in like we're gonna get anywhere. You almost got killed, and what do we have to show for it, huh?

Alex Bellows:
Oh, great. You're not AT the oracle, Cleo. You ARE the oracle.

[Cleo tells Telemachus his father lives and will return home]

Drossos:
You know you're not supposed to speak directly to the petitioners.

Cleo Bellows:
But he wanted to know what would happen.

Drossos:
Your visions can mislead you. You must rely on your priests to interpret what you see. We ensure that no one has cause to doubt the oracle.

Alex Bellows:
[watching from back at the house] This guy's the original politician.

Cleo Bellows:
[having seen a vision of her father] I saw him.

Alex Bellows:
You wanted to see him.

Cleo Bellows:
You think I'm imagining all this?

Alex Bellows:
I don't now, but if you saw exactly what you expected to see, I mean, maybe this is just a little too easy.

Alex Bellows:
You heard what the priest said.

Cleo Bellows:
Yeah, where are those guys? Maybe they can help. I thought they were supposed to write down everything I say.

Alex Bellows:
Yeah, well, maybe they went to go invent the tape recorder.

Tolis:
But, Drossos, the oracles are always difficult to understand.

Drossos:
She shouldn't be listening to any spirit except Apollo.

Drossos:
It was right of you to come to us, uh... All your visions must be recorded, uh, but it's better that you stay in your place. The blessings of Apollo comes from the well. The truth comes from the well.

Cleo Bellows:
Right. S-so I need to breathe in those python fumes.

Drossos:
You need to be the true oracle consecrated to Apollo, then the visions come.

Cleo Bellows:
[climbing back atop the dais] I'm getting sick of sitting on this thing. I get enough of that at home.

Alex Bellows:
Nah, don't worry about it. He's just putting you in your place.

Cleo Bellows:
Hardy-har.

Alex Bellows:
I don't trust this guy, though.

Cleo Bellows:
Well, this is his life, tending this snake pit, listening to me all day. Could make anyone a little weird.

Alex Bellows:
Oh, believe me, I know. I won't take it personally, though.

Drossos:
An oracle that is doubted by a king is no oracle.

Cleo Bellows:
While those guys are gone, let's see if we can get through to Dad again.

Alex Bellows:
No, hold on. Wait.

Cleo Bellows:
[sighs] What? You have a question you wanna ask? I don't think the oracle knows where Elvis is hiding out.

Drossos:
This is what we've waited for. The oracle declares the time.

Cleo Bellows:
What are you talking about?

Drossos:
You've seen your own death. When the oracle has a vision of the end of her time, it's the job of the priests to fulfill her word. It's time for you to go to Apollo.

Alex Bellows:
Maybe if you went in as a priest, you'd be able to talk to the oracle without sacrificing a goat.

Cleo Bellows:
Party pooper.