Ned and Stacey

[At a costume party]

Ned Dorsey:
I'm looking for my mother. She said if I get lost I should stand next to the pretty bee.

Girl:
Interesting line.

Ned Dorsey:
Well, it usually doesn't work. Good thing you're dressed like a bee.

Ned Dorsey:
Sponges: taste damn spongy.

Ned Dorsey:
[after his parents and boss catch Stacey naked with her lover] They're fraternal twins reenacting their birth.

Ned Dorsey:
I have to go, I have to pick my date up from shul.

Stacey Colbert:
You're going to have sex with a rabbi?

Ned Dorsey:
Hey, she's a rabbinic student. And yes I am!

Eric 'Rico' Moyer:
Uh, Stacey, Ned's got something to tell you.

Stacey Colbert:
What is it?

Ned Dorsey:
Stacey...

Stacey Colbert:
Yes, Ned.

Ned Dorsey:
GET OUT!

Stacey Colbert:
What?

Ned Dorsey:
I mean, I like pie.

Ned Dorsey:
Uh, hon, these don't taste like Family Goodness Biscuits.

Wife:
I tried a different brand tonight. Hope you don't mind.

Ned Dorsey:
Mind? Of course I mind damn it. I want Family Goodness Biscuits. Get out of here you wrong biscuit buying slut.