Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

Norah:
[about Tris] What did you see in her? I could floss with that girl.

Nick:
This is your friend that we're talking about?

Norah:
OK, so I'm the bad guy now, is that what we're doing, I'm the bad guy?

Nick:
If you really wanna know, she actually supported our music and our band when nobody else did, not that it's any of your business.

Norah:
OK, forget it, I can't do this.

Nick:
Do what?

Norah:
Just make a U-turn and take me back to Ludlow, alright. I'll find my own way...

Nick:
Perfect.

Norah:
...Because I refuse to be the goody bag in your pity party, NICK.

Nick:
You don't have to yell, it's not a train station... it's a tiny car.

Norah:
Are you crazy?!?

Nick:
I don't know what I did to you to make you so angry.

Norah:
Nothing! You're just... you're ridiculous.

Nick:
You don't even know me.

Norah:
I know you, I know your make.

Nick:
My make?

Norah:
You're an emo punk bandboy and you're obsessed with Tris. They could make action figures out of you - drummer not included.

Nick:
It's funny that Tris never mentioned you considering what good friends you are, but she did mention some frigid jealous JAP who was completely jealous of her and who was a complete b*tch.

Norah:
Oh, jealous?!?

Nick:
Yeah, and so now I think I know exactly who she was referring to.

Norah:
Let's dance, douchebag!

Nick:
OK, sweetheart, you think you have something...

[Norah punches Nick in the throat]

Norah:
I AM NOT JEALOUS!!

Random Guy:
No man, she's not jealous.

Nick:
I just feel like she's messing with me.

Thom:
Who are you talking about?

Nick:
Right now, Norah. No, Tris. Tris.

Thom:
You just haven't figured it out yet, have you.

Nick:
What?

Thom:
The big picture!

Nick:
I guess not.

Thom:
The Beatles.

Nick:
What about them?

Thom:
This. [grabs Nick's hand] Look, other bands, they want to make it about sex or pain, but you know, The Beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The first single. It's effing brilliant, right?... That's what everybody wants, Nicky. They don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. They just want to hold your hand.

Norah:
I also have a confession.

Nick:
What?

Norah:
Before Tal, I never really... kissed anyone until tonight.

Nick:
Really?

Norah:
Yeah. Unless you count Becca Weiner at camp when I was 13.

Nick:
I do! I do count Becca Weiner!

Norah:
You do?

Nick:
I don't know who wouldn't. You'd have to be a fool not to count her. [Pause] How long were you guys together?

Norah:
Three campfire-y nights. Oh, me and Tal. I knew that.

Nick:
So what is your favorite song?

Norah:
Well my favorite verse was "The way you're moving in your sleep, the way you look before you leap. The strange illusions that you keep. You don't know that I'm noticing."

Nick:
I wrote that.

Norah:
It reminds me of this part of Judaism that I really like. It's called Tikkun olam. It says that, um, the world's been broken into pieces and it's everybody's job to find them and put them back together again.

Nick:
Well, maybe we're the pieces. Maybe we're not supposed to find the pieces. Maybe we are the pieces.

[Last lines]

Norah:
Are you sad that we missed it?

Nick:
We didn't miss it. This is it. C'mon. You wanna go home?

[They kiss]

Norah:
Hi.

Dev:
[handing her a bra] Try this.

Norah:
What?

Dev:
Let's just say we're not the biggest fans of his dreaded ex? And we've decided you're to be his salvation. Besides, we saw you two making out, and we think you're the one. We just need to get you out of that sports bra.

Norah:
This isn't a sports bra.

Dev:
Come on. We're all ladies here.

Norah:
[Finishes changing] Okay.

Dev:
Ohh! It's better than the uni-boob.

Norah:
This isn't going to work, okay. He's hung up on Tris.

Dev:
You look gorgeous. And let me tell you something, Nicky is definitely worth the underwire. He just needs a little push, that's all.

Norah:
If you don't have a drummer, then why do you have drums you fistful of a**holes?

Dev:
[trying to come up with clever names for their band] Fistful of a**holes! I like it.

Thom:
Would someone mind telling me where we're going?

Norah:
You know how some people like to eat at the same places?

Nick:
Yeah.

Norah:
Well Caroline likes to barf in the same places.

Homeless Man:
What's up, friend? How you doing?

Nick:
Good. I was just gonna go in...

Homeless Man:
You walked right in here.

Nick:
I didn't mean to.

Homeless Man:
You're like a little canary in skinny jeans.

Nick:
I was gonna go in to look for my friend.

Homeless Man:
You got friends right here. Me and Switzerland are here for you, baby. Let me ask you a question. You ever hook up with a dog?

Nick:
No. What? Like an an... A dog, like a pet? No.

Homeless Man:
Don't. It's not worth it. I like you so much. [trying to hug Nick]

Nick:
I'm running away. I'm running.

Homeless Man:
Run away. Run away, little canary.

[watching Norah comfort a nearly passed-out Caroline]

Nick:
You two must be great friends.

Norah:
Yeah, I am a great friend. It's always been like this. I'm the squire in Caroline's quest for attention.

Nick:
[entering Electric Lady studios] Your dad owns this place?

[Norah nods]

Nick:
Is he this man? [pointing to picture]

Norah:
Yeah.

Nick:
Wow! So, what is he? Like, a former hippie, current yuppie, spoon-feeding the masses the same old garbage? Stop me at any time.

Norah:
Yes.

Nick:
Yeah.

Norah:
Yes! I'm gonna use that in my graduation speech. That's, like, amazing.

Nick:
You don't know what it's like to be straight, OK? It's... awful.

Nick:
I never wash my pants. I like to keep the night on them.

Nick:
Well, you're two penises short of a Shania Twain reimagination band!

Caroline:
[to a random person at the bus station] Um... hi. I'm Caroline. What's your name?... You know what, that's okay. You don't have to tell me. It's been like one of those nights, you know? I was with my friend Norah, who you don't know, but you'd really like her because everybody likes Norah and she... left me tonight which is - she never does that and then I was kidnapped. And then, she... usually when I go home with her she... she makes me a turkey sandwich when I get home, but I might never get home, you know? And I'm so tired. [looks down and notices what is in his lap] Is that a turkey sandwich?