Odyssey 5

[V.O. intro from every episode except pilot]

Chuck Taggart:
We saw the Earth destroyed, and in a heartbeat everything and everyone we knew was gone. There were five of us, the crew of the space shuttle Odyssey, and we were the only survivors. A mysterious being who called himself The Seeker rescued us and sent us back in time. And now we have five years to live over, five years to discover who or what destroyed the Earth, five years to stop it from happening again.

[First lines. Earth, North America rises into view upside down, then shakes with a large thud]

Neil Taggart:
Sh*t.

Matt Walsh:
Hey, handle with care. That's a billion dollars worth of Uncle Sam's money.

Neil Taggart:
Yeah, tell me about it. Trying again. [Earth is revealed as reflection in solar panel. Shuttle's Remote Manipulator Arm hits satellite again]

Neil Taggart:
Dammit.

Angela Perry:
Uh, Neil, I think the idea is to *catch* the satellite.

Neil Taggart:
Yeah, very funny. I've got a big problem here. [Arm hits satellite again]

Chuck Taggart:
Neil, talk to me.

Neil Taggart:
Uh, the arm's acting up. Servo controls are out of phase. Shoulder pitch is completely locked up.

Chuck Taggart:
Uh, Houston, this is Odyssey. We have an RMS malfunction resulting in a minor collision with the payload, over?

Ed Scrivens:
Roger, Odyssey. We are reassessing ground track, reviewing increment two contingency. Recommend you carry out arm diagnostic error routine 3S. Also suggest you review ACS task assessment, over?

Chuck Taggart:
Roger, Houston.

Kurt Mendel:
Closer. Closer. Do it, do it baby.

Sarah Forbes:
Why does everything that comes out of your mouth have something to do with sex?

Kurt Mendel:
Maybe because were riding in a three billion dollar phallic symbol. Don't quote me.

Sarah Forbes:
If I started quoting you they'd shut down the space program.

Sarah Forbes:
Speaking of a lack of confidence, I don't need to remind you that I'm putting you on live TV. You make me look bad, I'm flushing you out the air lock.

Kurt Mendel:
Not to worry, darling. I promise you a dignified exchange. But, uh, now that we're on the subject of the air lock, did you know that oxygen depletion enhances the effect of sexual stimulation?

Sarah Forbes:
[Interrupting] I don't - I don't want to know.

Chuck Taggart:
I can't find the Earth.

[everyone is waiting silently as the oxygen is slowly depleted]

Sarah Forbes:
Shouldn't w - doesn't anybody... want to say anything?

Kurt Mendel:
[after a long pause] Uh, I need to use the john.

Chuck Taggart:
[smiles, chuckles quietly]

Kurt Mendel:
[giggles]

Neil Taggart:
[tries to hold back his laughter]

Kurt Mendel:
[laughs louder]

Chuck Taggart:
[laughs]

Neil Taggart:
Okay, okay, c'mon. We're wasting oxygen. [cracks up]

Sarah Forbes, Kurt Mendel, Chuck Taggart, Neil Taggart:
[laughing loudly as Odyssey drifts out of the dust cloud]

Sarah Forbes:
I guess I should've expected it?

Neil Taggart:
What?

Sarah Forbes:
God is an old white guy.

Kurt Mendel:
It's probably an artificial construct so we won't freak out, derived from TV transmissions.

Sarah Forbes:
How do you know that?

Kurt Mendel:
Three hundred hours of Star Trek.

The Seeker:
You five are the only survivors from a sundered world that I've ever run into. Because of that, there is still a chance to *save* your world.

Neil Taggart:
But the Earth is gone.

The Seeker:
I have it in my power to project you back.

Chuck Taggart:
Project us back?

Kurt Mendel:
Time travel.

The Seeker:
Sort of. Physical time travel doesn't work. Mathematically impossible. Your bodies can't go back, but what you think of as your consciousness, *can*.

Sarah Forbes:
Our souls.

The Seeker:
Well, we're really talking about information patterns. I can take your current patterns and download them into your physical selves of the past

Kurt Mendel:
How far past?

The Seeker:
The jump limit is about five of your years. That should give you enough time.

Neil Taggart:
But enou - enough time?

The Seeker:
Enough time to stop it. To stop the destruction.

Kurt Mendel:
If you can do that for us, why don't you send yourself back?

The Seeker:
[smiles] Only organics can jump.

Kurt Mendel:
Then are you what I think you are?

Sarah Forbes:
Dr. Kurt Mendel, Nobel Prize-winning behavioral geneticist and author of several best-selling science books, is hitching a ride to the International Space Station, where he will be overseeing a series of experiments. Dr. Mendel, would you care to explain the specifics of the work you will be doing?

Kurt Mendel:
Um, well, Sarah, the *thrust* of my work will be to *erect* a series of *hard* protocols, designed to *penetrate* the *ins* and *outs* of zero-G environments on DNA sequencing. Hopefully, it will all *come* together.

Sarah Forbes:
[Through clenched teeth] Thank you, *Doctor*.

Kurt Mendel:
[On a TV on Earth] My pleasure, Sarah.

Sarah Forbes:
This is Sarah Forbes, reporting to you live [static burst] Space Shuttle Od - [white noise]

[a major tremor is suddenly felt on Earth]

Sarah Forbes:
[Back on Odyssey] You're a dead man. You're a *dead man*.

Kurt Mendel:
What'd I say? I answered the question.

Chuck Taggart:
Cool it.

Angela Perry:
Hey, we just lost video.

Kurt Mendel:
[laughing] Whew.

Sarah Forbes:
What is so funny?

Kurt Mendel:
It just occurred to me this is one scenario NASA *really* forgot to program into the simulators.

Chuck Taggart:
I gotta get the smoke out of here.

Sarah Forbes:
How are you gonna do that?

Chuck Taggart:
We're gonna depressurize the entire ship.

Neil Taggart:
What?

Sarah Forbes:
What are we supposed to do, hold our breath?

Chuck Taggart:
Neil and I will climb into the EMUs, the rest of you get into the personal rescue enclosures.

Kurt Mendel:
Uh, I'd like to raise an issue: what's the point of all this?

Chuck Taggart:
To stay alive.

Kurt Mendel:
For an extra nine hours?

Sarah Forbes:
It's better than nothing.

Kurt Mendel:
Is it? Nine more hours to sit around and wait for the oxygen to run out?

Neil Taggart:
We can't just give up, Kurt.

Kurt Mendel:
Look out the window. Earth is not on the mission program. If ever there was a time to give up, this is it. I say we *bag* this routine and get it over with.

Sarah Forbes:
I want to live, even if it is only for another nine hours.

Kurt Mendel:
Why? Do you want another interview?

Sarah Forbes:
Goddammit, Kurt.

Neil Taggart:
Oh, will you cut it out? It takes twenty minutes to get into suits; fifteen to clear the vents; we can not stand around and argue.

Chuck Taggart:
Neil's right, break out the EMUs. Sarah, take care of the personal rescue enclosures.

Chuck Taggart:
[to Kurt:] Now, I am gonna depressurize this cabin, and you can get into an enclosure if you want to, or you can sit around and twiddle your thumbs while you decompress, but if that's your choice, then do me a favor and get your ass in a sleeping bag and zip the f***er up because I do not wish to spend my last living hours cleaning up the mess.

Sarah Forbes:
Doesn't give you much comfort does it? Not believing in an afterlife.

Kurt Mendel:
On the contrary, it gives me lots of comfort.

Sarah Forbes:
How can the prospect of nonexistence be comforting?

Kurt Mendel:
I look at it like this: before I came on stage, the Universe had been around for twelve billion years. All that time I was in a state of nonexistence, and it wasn't bad. Pretty comfortable as a matter of fact. I figure it'll be just as comfortable for the next twelve billion years.

Sarah Forbes:
So all those people were wrong to believe in a higher power?

Kurt Mendel:
Look what good it did 'em.

The Seeker:
Wow. You're all alive. That means I got the atmosphere right.

[the Odyssey crew stares at him blankly]

The Seeker:
It is English, isn't it?

Chuck Taggart:
Uh, yeah, we speak English.

The Seeker:
Phew. For a second I thought I had it wrong.

[Angela starts coughing up blood]

Chuck Taggart:
What can you do for her?

The Seeker:
She only has about two minutes.

Chuck Taggart:
What do you need to send us back?

The Seeker:
All I need is the word.

Chuck Taggart:
If there's a chance in heaven to prevent this, then do it, man.

Sarah Forbes:
What are we supposed to be looking for?

The Seeker:
I can tell you this: the destroyers attack from within.

Chuck Taggart:
She's losing her pulse. She's losing her pulse.

The Seeker:
I can retrieve her information. She can still go back.

Chuck Taggart:
Then do it.

Kurt Mendel:
What are you talking about?

Chuck Taggart:
Just do it. Do it now.

Kurt Mendel:
You can't let him have that.

Chuck Taggart:
Do it now.

Kurt Mendel:
You don't know who he is or what he's done.

Chuck Taggart:
I don't give a goddamned who he is; do it now.

[the Seeker glows and transforms into a purple crystalline entity]

The Seeker:
Seek within your own. Seek within your own.

Chuck Taggart:
Where are you? Are you okay?

Neil Taggart:
[into phone over noise:] Ye - I'm okay. I - I - I'm okay, I'm at a *party*.

Chuck Taggart:
A party?

Paige Taggart:
[to Chuck] A *party*?

Neil Taggart:
Dad, we're back. We're *really* back. This is *incredible*.

Chuck Taggart:
Yeah, I know, Neil. Where's this party?

Neil Taggart:
Uh, I don't know... um.

[looks around]

Neil Taggart:
Oh my God, it's at the Fischers.

Chuck Taggart:
Okay, stay right there. I'll be right over.

[Paige takes the phone away from Chuck]

Chuck Taggart:
[to Paige] Where are the car keys?

Paige Taggart:
[to Neil on phone] *You* are supposed to be at Wade's house studying for an exam.

Neil Taggart:
[stammering] Mom? Uh, yeah I'm, uh, gosh Mom, I'm - I'm, uh, I'm - I'm *really* sorry.

Paige Taggart:
You have no idea how sorry you're going to be.

[hangs up]

Chuck Taggart:
Keys, keys.

Paige Taggart:
What are you going to do about your son?

Chuck Taggart:
My son? Why is he always my son? He's your son too.

Paige Taggart:
I can't believe he's almost eighteen.

Chuck Taggart:
Neither can I.

Chuck Taggart:
You are sittin' in my son's room, in front of my son's computer, in my house, and you're in Texas, boy. I'd be well within my rights to shoot you where you sit.