Oh, God! Book II

Tracy Richards:
God, how old are you?

God:
That's a good question. I really don't know that myself. I stopped counting after 200.

Tracy Richards:
  Are you God, sir?

God:
  Forget the "sir."  Just plain "God," the owner of the store, also known as the man upstairs.

Tracy Richards:
  How old are you?

God:
  Who knows?  After the first two-million years, I stopped counting.

Tracy Richards:
  Slogans really work.  You'll become a household word.

God:
  A household word.  Yeah, that would be nice for a change.

Tracy Richards:
  God, on The Johnny Carson Show?

God:
  [on t. v.]  Why not?  He gets everybody else to replace him.

God:
  I'll give you another week.

Tracy Richards:
  Just a week?

God:
  That's long enough.  Look at what I accomplished in a week.  And I did it without computers.

Tracy Richards:
  It's just a gut feeling.  (That's an advertising expression.)

Shingo:
  Well, I gotta gut feeling, too:  I'm hungry.  Let's go home.

God:
  Tracy, I really like it.

Tracy Richards:
  Thank God!

God:
  I like that one, too, but let's go with "Think God."

Tracy Richards:
  Who do you pray to?

God:
  Me?  Well, sometimes I talk to myself.

God:
[looking at Earth]  What a mess.  Every time I look down there, it gets worse.  Maybe I oughta stop looking down.  Millions of planets, and that one's always been a problem.  Why that one?  I know why: people.  I had to put people on it.  Maybe I oughta go down there and look around.  I gotta do something.  Let's see, um…[lightning strikes]  Please, not now, I'm thinking!

God:
I'm not always on cloud nine.

God:
People remember the miracle and forget why I did it.

God:
I don't take off for spelling.

God:
They gave some of my best people a pretty hard time.

God:
But, Tracy, I don't want you to think I'm bragging, but, let's face it: I'm an original, the one and only.  I made my own mould and threw it away.

God:
I say, if you don't set deadlines, nothing happens.

God:
"Bananas."  I hate that expression.  I make a beautiful fruit, and people use it for "crazy."

God:
Mathematics.  That was a mistake.  I should have made the whole thing a little easier.

God:
Nobody's perfect.

God:
When I sneeze, there's no one around to bless me.

God:
Honest to me, I didn't.

God:
I need all the help I can get.

God'S Fortune Cookie Messages:
Meet me in the lounge.

God'S Fortune Cookie Messages:
I mean you - Tracy.

Tracy Richards:
Oh, Daddy, you and your tricks.  You're always trying to pull something on me.

Tracy Richards:
Daddy, just because you can't see spirits doesn't mean they're not there.  It's kinda like believing in God: sometimes, you just have to believe in things you can't see.

Tracy Richards:
But—but if You are God, why would You bother with me?

Tracy Richards:
Have you ever felt like you might be dreaming, even though you knew you were awake?

Tracy Richards:
Mom, we know that God has a lot of wonderful qualities, but what would you say are some of His strongest points?

Tracy Richards:
It was some dumb commercial.  They're always trying to sell you something.

Tracy Richards:
You know, You're not exactly easy to turn down.

Tracy Richards:
You talk to me like I'm grown up.  I like that.

Tracy Richards:
God brought me home on His motorcycle.

Tracy'S Slogans:
How do you spell relief?  G-O-D.

Tracy'S Slogans:
God is bullish on humanity.

Tracy'S Slogans:
You're in good hands with God.

Tracy'S Slogans:
Let God put you in the driver's seat.

Tracy'S Slogans:
Buy God, B-U-Y.

Tracy'S Slogans:
Try God!

Tracy'S Slogans:
Good God!

Tracy'S Slogans:
Great God!

Tracy'S Slogans:
Think God!

Paula Richards:
[to Tracy]  Don't watch any horror films, okay?  [cuts to a scene of Tracy watching a horror film]

Rosa:
No, He never talks to me.  Maybe he doesn't understand Spanish so good.

Shingo:
Did you get His autograph?

Shingo:
I don't believe a word of what you're saying; spelling always counts.

Shingo'S Slogan:
You can be sure…if it's God.

Tagline:
That's right, I made another movie.  You know me, I can't stop creating.