Oh, God! You Devil

Bobby Shelton:
Who are you?

Bobby Shelton:
My God!

The Devil:
Guess again.

The Devil:
No more.

Bobby Shelton:
I'm flipping out.

The Devil:
I love to scare the hell out of people.

Bobby Shelton:
I'd sell my soul to the devil to make it in this business. Just for the chance.

God:
You made a deal with the Devil. How dumb could you be?

Bobby Shelton:
I didn't know it was the Devil.

God:
You're not talking to your sixth-grade teacher, you know.

Gary Frantz:
  Should I speak louder?

Harry O. Tophet:
  Not unless you can't hear what you're saying.

Gary Frantz:
  Wait a minute.  Who are you?  [Tophet turns around, lights a cigar using his thumb]  My God!

Harry O. Tophet:
  Guess again.

Gary Frantz:
  But I thought this was a trial period; that's what you said.

Harry O. Tophet:
  I lied.  [begins exiting]  You want anything, I'm at 666.

Gary Frantz:
  The rainbow disappeared.

God:
  I'm trying to save on energy.

Harry O. Tophet:
  You know, I don't have to do this.  Shelton came to me; I didn't go to him.  Rules are rules.  You're out of it.

God:
  But you lied to him.  You told him it was for trial period.  Is that according to the rules?

Harry O. Tophet:
  Technicalities!

God:
  You don't have clear title to this boy.

Harry O. Tophet:
  Neither do you.

God:
  Looks like we're in a grey area here, doesn't it?

Harry O. Tophet:
  You bluffed.  You had nothing.  Why did I fold!?

God:
  I put the fear of me in you.

Harry O. Tophet: That old black magic has me in its spell That old black magic that I weave so well Those icy fingers up and down your spine The same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine

Harry O. Tophet:
Sorry, pal, he asked for me.  That's the rules.  He asked for me; he's mine.  And none of your tricks, either.

Harry O. Tophet:
It's the little things I enjoy.

Harry O. Tophet:
I keep my name out of the papers.  I'm more effective that way.

Harry O. Tophet:
A deal is a deal.  It's finished.

Harry O. Tophet:
Sign this, Bobby, and they'll stop laughing.  Sign this and the whole world is yours.

Harry O. Tophet:
People think, because I'm the devil, I'm insensitive.  That's not true.

Harry O. Tophet:
Listen, if I didn't exist, God would've had to make me up.  I make him look good.

Harry O. Tophet:
Would I lie?

Bobby Shelton:
I've just never seen wine with an expiration date before.

Bobby Shelton:
Where am I?  Who am I?  If I'm not me anymore, why do I still think I'm me?  That's the part I can't understand.

God:
Pretty nice, huh?  I made it myself.

God:
You made a deal with the devil, how dumb could you be?

God:
You don't get to be as old as I am unless you can roll with the punches.

God:
He's always wanted to look like me, talk like me, be like me, but I'm God.