On the 2nd Day of Christmas

Trish:
When did she leave you?

Bert:
She did not leave me. We parted.

Trish:
Is that why you're mad at the world?

Bert:
I'm not mad a the world, just a very small part of it.

Trish:
Are you hurt?

Bert:
No! How can I be hurt? I just threw my family jewels full force against a freezing metal fence!

Trish:
Oh good, as long as you're not hurt

Trish:
When I was a little girl I could tell the breed of a dog by its bark.

Bert:
And?

Trish:
I think you better hurry!

Bill:
So, you two met at the store?

Bert:
Ehhh..

Trish:
First floor. Handbags. It was very romantic. Bert dragged me right off, I couldn't resist!

Bert:
All the good songs have already been written.

Trish:
Well, no one has ever written a song about me!