Once Upon a Girl....

Jack:
[after his frog climbs out of a woman's mouth] Wow that's what I call a h-h-headjob.

Jack:
[about his mother learning about trading the cow for the beans and beating him for it] Boy was she sore and now so is my ca-ca-ca- ass!, Gee I wish I hadn't sold the cow just so I could suck on that gypsy's ti-ti-tits, [to his frog] Remember those tits Froggy? [Froggy nods] Wow those were the softest things I ev-ev-ev wow! [gets a boner] and those ni-ni-nipples oh boy that warm wet fu-fu-fuzzy little pu-pu-p*ssy, woo hoo hoo hoo sh*t, I get h-h-horny just thinking about her again w-w-wow!, watch out Froggy I'm gonna cu-cu-cu [ejaculates out the window which splashes on the beans causing them to grow]

Hunter:
[Yawning after having sex with Little Red Riding Hood] Thou it was a ripe annual f***eth Miss, thy firey c*nt will stir pleasing memories, please if it pleases you proceed to yonder wedding

Mother Goose:
[after she had warned Jack that his cow would be taken away if he wouldn't stop sucking it's udders] I told you so, I told you so.

Jack:
Oh go h-h-hump a hamster you old t-t-transvestite!

Mother Goose:
[after a squirrel bites Jack's penis for humping it's tree] That's no way to collect nuts in May [squirrel gives her the finger]