Once Upon a Honeymoon

Patrick 'Pat' O'Toole:
Not so loud? I always talk loud when I'm mad! You're lucky I don't jump up and down! It's things like this that can make a man a... a... a Republican!

Patrick 'Pat' O'Toole:
[after seeing the Feuhrer from his hotel balcony, he goes to the bedroom door] Hey! Hitler is here!

Katie O'Hara Von Luber, aka Katherine Butt-Smith:
[Unimpressed from behind the door] Well I can't see him now. I'm dressing.

Patrick 'Pat' O'Toole:
But I still don't see how a lovely creature with your possibilities could a...

Katie O'Hara Von Luber, aka Katherine Butt-Smith:
You're a newspaperman?

Patrick 'Pat' O'Toole:
Yeah.

Katie O'Hara Von Luber, aka Katherine Butt-Smith:
Why?

Patrick 'Pat' O'Toole:
That's what I wanted to be.

Katie O'Hara Von Luber, aka Katherine Butt-Smith:
It's that simple. Goodbye.

Patrick 'Pat' O'Toole:
Now, just a moment. One last look. I want to always remember you just the way you look tonight... today.

Gaston Le Blanc:
Look here, old man. Where is your patriotism?

Patrick 'Pat' O'Toole:
Well, thinking of her with him isn't helping it any! And you leave my patriotism out of this. I don't mind giving up coffee and sugar but when it comes to... I'd like to know what man was ever hero enough to say I have but one wife to give to my country!

Katie O'Hara Von Luber, aka Katherine Butt-Smith:
[Talking on a trans-Atlantic phone connection] I'm gonna be married, Mama. Gee, I wish you were here. I always imagined you'd be at my wedding, Mama.

Katie's Mother:
[Suspiciously] Is this a hasty marriage, Katie? What's the hurry?

Katie O'Hara Von Luber, aka Katherine Butt-Smith:
Well, he comes from a long line of wealthy Austrian people, Mama, and they're all dead.

Gen. Borelski:
How did you know those guns were no good?

Gen. Borelski:
Well, sir, because the man who sold them to you was no good.

Baron Franz Von Luber:
[Referring to Katie's objections to pre-marital sex] My dear, I'm fully aware of the American mania for respectability.

Baron Franz Von Luber:
[He takes two tickets out of his inside pocket] Separate compartments.

Katie O'Hara Von Luber, aka Katherine Butt-Smith:
Separate compartments?

Baron Franz Von Luber:
Mmm-hmmm.

Katie O'Hara Von Luber, aka Katherine Butt-Smith:
I might insist on separate trains.

Baron Franz Von Luber:
That might be overdoing it.

Patrick 'Pat' O'Toole:
General, you're innocent.

Gen. Borelski:
I can prove my innocence, but I can never disprove my stupidty.

Katie O'Hara Von Luber, aka Katherine Butt-Smith:
Go some place where it's safe.

Anna:
Where?

Baron Franz Von Luber:
[Sitting at adjpining tables in a Paris bistro] What'll we drink to?

Baron Franz Von Luber:
[Not getting a respomse and seeing the empty glasses] I see you've had several.

Patrick 'Pat' O'Toole:
Yes, yes, I'm what is known in America as 'carrying the torch.' In fact, I've swallowed it. Got a little heartburn. Lost my girl.

Baron Franz Von Luber:
Oh, that's too bad. Well, let's drink to your finding her again.

Patrick 'Pat' O'Toole:
That I'll do.

Katie O'Hara Von Luber, aka Katherine Butt-Smith:
[to the Baron as the German ambassador and his attache come in] Darling, I wouldn't trust those two swastikas any farther than you could throw Goering.

Baron Franz Von Luber:
Please, Daeling, both of these gentlemen speak English.

Patrick 'Pat' O'Toole:
[Referring to Katie] Well, then, what makes you so suspicious?

Baron Franz Von Luber:
She asks so many subtle leading questions. She tries to read my mind, and if she can't read my mind, she reads my mail.

Katie O'Hara Von Luber, aka Katherine Butt-Smith:
[reading] Let's make our love song one that will live / Let's make it one to forget and forgive / As life's shadows lengthen over the years, our love will strengthen through laughter and tears. I will know your thoughts / You will know mine / Without ever a word / Without ever a sign / We will know what is deep in each other's heart / We will know, for it must be, 'till death do us part.'