Once Upon a Time in Mexico

Agent Sands:
Are you a Mexi-CAN or a Mexi-CAN'T?

Cucuy:
I'm a Mexi-CAN

Agent Sands:
Good. Then do as I say.

Agent Sands:
Why? Why would I want that? Why would I want bubblegum?

Cucuy:
There's cartel on every corner.

El Mariachi:
Sands told me you handle protection.

Cucuy:
I don't work for Sands anymore. And since I'm a Mexi-can, I can do whatever I want.

El Mariachi:
Then I guess I don't work for Sands neither. Goodbye.

Cucuy:
There's a price on your head. I'm going to collect. Why don't you just tell Barillo everything you know and then maybe he'll just cut off your hands.

El Mariachi:
And if I don't?

Cucuy:
Remember that old man I killed in your village? What if your whole village was next?

El Mariachi:
Would you kill them?

Cucuy:
Me?

Cucuy:
They certainly would.

El Mariachi:
Then I guess I have no choice... but to kill you all.

Agent Sands:
Well, I guess I should thank you for not sticking it up your ass.

Left Nut:
I was tortured once... I didn't like it. You know what the really f***ed up part was? They tore out my left nut. That really turned me off to the whole thing.

Carolina:
What do you want in life?

El Mariachi:
To be free.

Carolina:
Simple.

El Mariachi:
No.

Agent Sands:
Okay, Okay. I'm going to freak right out.

El Mariachi:
You want me to shoot the cook?

Agent Sands:
No. I'll shoot the cook. My car's parked out back, anyway.

El Mariachi:
Any suggestions, Ms. "Why don't we get a room on the 5th floor so we can see the beautiful sunset"?

Agent Sands:
Mexico's my beat, and I'm walking it.

Agent Sands:
Can you hear me now?... F***ing bells...

Cab Driver:
Look out there, its a f***ing coup d'état.

Agent Sands:
I can't see, f***-mook. I have no eyes.

Agent Sands:
That spill just cost you your life.

Agent Sands:
I want you to put the hurtin', so to speak, on Marques after he's killed the president. Savvy?

Ajedrez:
See anything you like?

Agent Sands:
No.

Lorenzo:
Practice shooting, not drinking.

Agent Sands:
I want you to have a bite of my pork.

Agent Sands:
I feel its only fair to warn you, that killing me is crossing the line and you will have every single Marine from here to Guantanamo Bay up your keester mister, so just know that.

Barillo:
Fortunately for you, nothing you did is worth dying for. You have only seen too much. We are going to make sure this does not happen again.

Marquez:
Carolina?

El Mariachi:
She died.

Marquez:
Your daughter?

El Mariachi:
She died.

Marquez:
You?

El Mariachi:
Dead.

Marquez:
And me?

El Mariachi:
Alive and well.

El Mariachi:
In hell.

El Presidente:
Who are you guys?

El Mariachi:
Sons of Mexico, sir.

Sands:
Oh yeah, things may get a wee bit dangerous there sugarbutt so... can you dig it?

Sands:
Why doesn't my key work anymore?

Ajedrez:
It's too small.

Agent Sands:
Bullfights. Bull hockey. Do you like this? The bull is stabbed, prodded, beaten. The bull is wounded. The bull is tired before the matador ever steps into the ring. Now, is that victory? Of course it is. Wanna know the secret to winning? Creative sportsmanship. In other words, one has to rig the game.

Sands:
You're a good rat. I like you.

Agent Sands:
El, you really must try this because it's puerco pibil. It's a slow-roasted pork, nothing fancy. It just happens to be my favorite, and I order it with a tequila and lime in every dive I go to in this country. And honestly, that is the best it's ever been anywhere. In fact, it's too good. It's so good that when I'm finished, I'll pay my check, walk straight into the kitchen and shoot the cook. Because that's what I do. I restore the balance to this country. And that is what I would like from you right now. Help keep the balance by pulling the trigger.

El Mariachi:
Why me?

Sands:
Frankly, because you've got nothing to live for... and in a way you're already dead and Marquez is the one that killed you so why not return the favor?

Sands:
Belini, how long have you and I done business together? A long time. And in that time I could almost have the tiniest smidgen of respect for you, almost... but you really need to stop farting around.

Agent Sands:
You know that withholding vital information from a federal officer is a serious offense. Especially when that officer has paid handsomely for it and wouldn't think twice about ripping that patch off your eyehole and skull-f***ing you to death.

Sands:
My name is Sheldon Jeffery Sands. I work for the Central Intelligence Agency. I throw shapes. I throw shapes, I set them up, I watch them fall. I'm living la vida loca.

Billy:
You want me to break his fingers?

Barillo:
No. I want you to chop them off.

Billy:
I was making a joke.

Barillo:
I wasn't.

Agent Sands:
This is no time to screw the pooch, because this is supposed to be the big dance number, all right?

Belini:
This story is well-traveled. It might have picked up some embellishments along the way. Just read between the lines.

Sands:
You're about a quart low.

Sands:
Was I right?

Sands:
Hmmm. Guess not.

Agent Sands:
Look me in the eyes... and then kill me.

Cucuy:
The man I work for, Mr. Sands, is hiring El Mariachi to kill General Marquez.

Barillo:
So you want to join us. First you must understand. There is the bait and there is the trade.

Cucuy:
So El Mariachi is the trade?

Barillo:
You are.