Overnight Delivery

Ivy:
C'mon, Baker. Men live in hope and die in despair.

Ivy:
Extra, Extra. Read all about it. Kim can shake her pom-poms but she won't go at it! Extraaa. Extraaa.

Ivy:
Slut? Oh, oh, no. If I wanna bag a professor from one of my classes, I will, but nobody, and I mean nobody, calls me a slut, so the next time you feel like casting aspersions on my character, try remembering that this quote unquote slut is driving your judgmental ass all the way to Des Moines. So a little decency would be in order. Got it? Good.

Ivy:
You know it's funny I thought you had a girlfriend.

Wyatt:
Me? No... well yeah, but I was just killing time.

Ivy:
Killing time?

Wyatt:
Yeah, killing time until I met you.

Ivy:
Boy, never thought I'd fall for a line like that.

Wyatt:
I'll have some celery... some toast... and some water... just some water.

Wyatt:
Is that a sign or what?

Ivy:
It's not Jesus walking on water. I'll give it a nine.

Snake:
It's a fact, College girls have three times more sexual partners than a regular girl.

Raditch:
I don't want to tell you 'I told you so', but, I told you so!

Ivy:
I'm sorry, were you sleeping?

Wyatt:
Did my closed eyes and peaceful demeanor tip you off?

Ivy:
You know, as bad as a situation ever gets, there's always time to get dressed.

Ivy:
Why don't you draw some more attention to the stolen vehicle by dancing on it?

Turran:
Given you don't have the bribe money or shipping number, the only way we can cancel your package is by the computer.

Turran:
Oops. How's that for a reality check?

Ivy:
Try this! Kim you snotty little pig I was delighted to learn of your infidelity your puritanical attitudes towards sex were just childish and insecure.

Wyatt:
Ooh insecure give me something about her weight. She's one of those five, eight hundred pound girls that always gonna say "I'm fat I'm fat"

Ivy:
Ok! My stomach turned the last time we made out & your gut flapped against me, those cellulite packed cactuses you call thighs with the razor sharp stubble called to mind a fifth rate porno actress that I once jerked off to during the tenure of our sorry marriage of convenient. Now I can finally tell all my friends how nauseating you are to mate with. Rot in Hell! Trips.

Ivy:
You're friend doesn't look so good!

Wyatt:
No? Well how the hell am I supposed to look? My girlfriend is cheating on me with a guy named "The Ricker".

Wyatt:
Dear God, I promise i'll never send anything overnight delivery again.