Paint Your Wagon

Rumson:
You show me in them commandments where it says a woman cain't have two husbands.

Pardner:
There AIN'T no commandment like that.

Ben Rumson:
I give you the boy. Give me back the man.

Ben Rumson:
Now, don't tell me you've never been with a woman.

Horton:
No, sir I haven't.

Ben Rumson:
Well, that, that's terrible! Did you know you could go blind?

Mrs. Fenty:
You should read the Bible, Mr. Rumson.

Ben Rumson:
I have read the Bible, Mrs. Fenty.

Mrs. Fenty:
Didn't that discourage you about drinking?

Ben Rumson:
No, but it sure killed my appetite for readin'!

Ben Rumson:
There's two kinds of people, them goin' somewhere and them goin' nowhere. And's that what's true.

Horace Tabor:
Wait a minute! You can't buy a woman for money.

Mad Jack Duncan:
You just try and get one without it.

Ben Rumson:
Well, looks like I married myself a tourist attraction.

Pardner:
Ben, how's married life?

Ben Rumson:
Pardner, it was so good that I forgot that I was married.

Horace Tabor:
Is it your proposal, Mr. Rumson, that we knock out the stage driver, steal a coach, and kidnap six women?

Ben Rumson:
Sounds better every time I hear it.

Ben Rumson:
Howdy Parson, welcome to HELL!

Ben Rumson:
Hi, Willy! How're things goin'?

'Rotten Luck'Willie:
I ain't won a hand in two weeks.

Ben Rumson:
(to Partner) They call him 'Rotten Luck' Willie. You couldn't beat him with five aces.

Pardner:
Oh, I don't gamble.

Ben Rumson:
Neither does he.

Mad Jack:
I got no quarrel with 'ow a man prays; there's enough room in 'ell for all of us! Wot I don't like is that you got two of somethin' the rest of us got none of!

Mad Jack Duncan:
It's a living hell up here. What with the bloody rain, the bloody loneliness, and that bloody, bloody wind.

Pardner:
You're diggin' a hole.

Mad Jack:
Hey, you don't miss a trick, do yah?

Horton:
Mr. Rumson, I swore I wouldn't tell anyone. I hope that means except my father and mother.

Ben Rumson:
That means especially your father and mother.

Horton:
But I've never kept anything from them before.

Ben Rumson:
Well, it's time you started. Because when you do, a whole new world opens up.

Elizabeth:
Did you know that the Fenty's had an apple farm back in Pennsylvania?

Ben Rumson:
Apple jack, huh?

Horton:
No, sir, we did not make apple jack!

Ben Rumson:
Then, what did you grow the apples for?

Horton:
Mr. Rumson, do you think that everything that comes out of the earth should be used to make liquor?

Ben Rumson:
Whenever possible, yes.

Ben Rumson:
THEY... BETTER... BE... CAUSE... I'M... GONNA... BURY 'EM!

Haywood Holbrook:
I dunno. I ain't a religious man.

Ben Rumson:
Well, goodbye Partner. Dammit! I still don't know your name.

Partner:
It's Sylvester Newell.

Ben Rumson:
Sylvester Newell. Well, that's a good name for a farmer.

Ben:
Where the hell have you been?

Elizabeth:
I was taking a bath at the river.

Ben:
You mean to tell me that you was at the river, broad beamed and buck naked, before light takin' a bath?

Elizabeth:
Mr. Rumson! Perhaps you would prefer that I go to the river 'broad beamed and buck naked' and take my bath in the middle of the day!

Ben Rumson:
Pardner, there comes a time when the party of the first part has no recourse but to knock some sense into the party of the second part! You're stayin'!