Patrik 1,5

[Patrik is leaving to stay with his new family]

Sven Skoogh:
[to Patrik, who is wearing jeans and a t-shirt] Is that what you're wearing? You can't meet a civil engineer looking like that.

Sven Skoogh:
[reading] "Patrik, 1,5..." Don't you say one and a half? "Patrik, 1,5 needs a new family. He has a troubled background..."

G?ran Skoogh:
[taking the letter and reading] He has a troubled background and needs love and a stable environment. If you choose to accept, he can come at the end of the month."

G?ran Skoogh:
[thinking Patrik's a new mail deliverer] What's your name?

Patrik Eriksson:
[nervous and wary] Patrik.

G?ran Skoogh:
Really? That's his name, too.

Patrik Eriksson:
Who's name?

G?ran Skoogh:
Patrik, our son.

Patrik Eriksson:
How old is he?

G?ran Skoogh:
One and a half.

Patrik Eriksson:
I hope you don't expect us to share a room.

G?ran Skoogh:
What? Share a room?

Patrik Eriksson:
You did know I was coming, didn't you? Social Services must have called.

G?ran Skoogh:
Social Services?

Patrik Eriksson:
Don't you touch me, you f***ing homo!

Patrik Eriksson:
If I get raped, it's all your fault!

Sven Skoogh:
Shouldn't you get some sleep?

Patrik Eriksson:
So you'll get a chance to rape me?

Sven Skoogh:
Maybe you can't sleep.

Patrik Eriksson:
Try anything and I'll get you.

Sven Skoogh:
You talk tough but you're so scared you can't even sleep.

Patrik Eriksson:
You know, I kicked a homo in the face once. He was on the ground, bleeding, and I laughed my f***ing head off.

G?ran Skoogh:
What did your dad look like?

[no response]

G?ran Skoogh:
What about your mother?

Patrik Eriksson:
Like a strung-out old whore.

G?ran Skoogh:
Patrik!

Patrik Eriksson:
Well, that's what she was. And my dad can't have been much better. Or maybe he paid to screw her. I don't know.

G?ran Skoogh:
Tomorrow you'll get to meet your new parents.

Patrik Eriksson:
As long as they're not like you.

Socialchef:
[reading] "Sven and G?ran Skoogh are hereby exempted from the contract pertaining to the placement of Patrik Eriksson. Patrik Eriksson is to be reinstated at R?nnbo, effective immediately."

Patrik Eriksson:
There's something about me that triggers bad things.

G?ran Skoogh:
Patrik...

Patrik Eriksson:
It's true! It's been that way since Ma died right in front of me.

G?ran Skoogh:
[incredulously] Were you there when she died?

Patrik Eriksson:
Me and the dog, they say. She had set out juice and crackers, and then she died. She'd been dead for 24 hours by the time they found us. We ate up all the crackers. Good thing she put out those crackers. They put the dog down, you know. Nobody to take care of it. Nobody to take care of me, either, but they couldn't very well kill me, even if they wanted to.

Eva:
Has he met someone else?

G?ran Skoogh:
No. At least, I don't think so. So you think he has?

Eva:
Then you're lucky. He cheated on me for six months before I found out about it.

G?ran Skoogh:
Really? Who with?

Eva:
You, you moron!

G?ran Skoogh:
Hey, why should I accept fashion pointers from a teenage thug?