Perry Mason

Della Street:
[a simple question] What do you know about art?

Paul Drake:
[astonished] Me? I don't even know what I like!

Hamilton Burger:
Incompetent, irrelevant, and immaterial!

Cal Leonard:
No, no go back to your fancy party, your fancy squares, I don't need you, get outta here. Go on get out.

Constant Doyle:
It's alright Sergeant. I think I just lost a client, that's all. Goodnight Toughie.

Paul Drake:
Mr. Danko, in my business a client's case is supposed to remain confidential - but yours won't. You've told a few too many lies - and I don't like being chosen either to pay conscience money or to help cover up a felony.

Paul Drake:
Perry... isn't there anything else you want you ask me?

Perry Mason:
Paul, the only real doubt I have about you is what you're going to say when you see my bill.

Alan Durfee:
Mitternacht? You're in even worse shape than I am, old buddy, and it's only eleven o'clock, in the morning!

Alan Durfee:
Whaddya suppose is in there, Doc? Hitler's garters?

Alan Durfee:
You know what the trouble is, Mason? They don't make good pictures any more. Nobody wants to give an actor a break. Oh, sure, sure, I read lots of scripts. But you know what the trouble is? The words - they get in between the star an his public. And then there are those so-called 'directors'!"

Judson Warner:
Why do you make us all goose-pimply happy and drop dead.

Hamilton Burger:
I will resist any motion by the defense for a dismissal based on an exhibition of legerdemain and fireworks.

Perry Mason:
A toast to the things for which there are no substitutes: good friends... happy days... and... victory.

Leslie Ross:
I graduated, passed the bar

Leslie Ross:
And got my license.

Paul Drake:
If it's a hunting or fishing license,

Paul Drake:
I'm in season!

Della Street:
Is that the cook?

Perry Mason:
and housekeeper

Della Street:
You'll never convince she was hired just to dust the furniture

Belle Adrian:
Mr. Mason, were you surprised when you found I didn't do it?

Perry Mason:
Of course not, Mrs. Adrian. I knew that all along. You just weren't the type.

Paul Drake:
And who is the type, pray tell?

Della Street:
Oh, that's easy, Paul. Anyone who is not represented by Perry Mason.

Perry Mason:
For some unaccountable reason, Mrs. Adrian, people in trouble foolishly try to escape it by lying to their lawyers. But your allowing me to go into court without complete knowledge of the facts is inexcusable.

Abigail E. Leeds:
I have a voice like a fog horn and when I'm mad I don't whisper.

Perry Mason:
[to Lt. Tragg] I'm a lawyer, not a detective.

Charles Slade:
Sit down, Jim, sit down. Well, I haven't seen you for some time. Harry became a stranger to us too after he moved away and married that... Well, you young people move in different circles. You find new friends. [pause] Are you in some sort of trouble? Money, perhaps?

Charles Slade:
You're telling me my son was a thief!

James Kincannon:
I'm sorry.

Charles Slade:
Do you recall, granted it was some time ago, you asked your mother to dispose of the Kincannon necklace. You came up with a story of being blackmailed or some such thing, and all you wanted was money to impress some frowzy little B-girl...

James Kincannon:
That was over six years ago! I was a crazy kid!

Charles Slade:
It was a cheap trick you tried to pull then, and it's a cheap trick you're trying to pull now.

James Kincannon:
Mr. Slade...

Charles Slade:
You're a filthy liar. Get out! Get out before I call the police!

Charles Slade:
I'm afraid I have a lot to make up for. To both of you.

Pete Norland:
For an hour I have been pacing up and down in front of your building, Mr. Mason like a picket without a sign board.

Gideon Long:
Someone spilled claret over my favorite polar bear!

Rubin Cason:
Perry, Perry baby. I didn't kill anybody.

Perry Mason:
You know cross-examination is like prospecting. You see something that looks promising, you work a vein for all it's worth. If you're lucky- you may hit a bonanza.

Hamilton Burger:
Well, Perry, what's the occasion? To the best of my knowledge there's nothing pending between us.

Perry Mason:
No.

Hamilton Burger:
Social call?

Perry Mason:
I don't know exactly what kind of a call it is, Hamilton.

Hamilton Burger:
Well, maybe between us we can figure it out. Sit down.

Perry Mason:
I am... in a very curious predicament.

Hamilton Burger:
That's a switch... traffic ticket?

Perry Mason:
No, a problem of ethics. If I tell you about it, would you be willing to regard it as privileged, so to speak - not to be acted upon?

Hamilton Burger:
Why, Perry, you know as district attorney I can't buy a pig in a poke like that.

Perry Mason:
All right, I'll present it hypothetically instead, so you won't have to promise anything - agreed?

Hamilton Burger:
Well, I don't know how the taxpayers will react to my spending time listening to hypothetical problems, but - go ahead.

Perry Mason:
How's your bedside manner, Paul?

Elaine Pitkin:
When you die, Harry, I know exactly who'll be at your funeral - you!

Harry Pitkin:
Well, I guess I never did win any popularity contests.

Perry Mason:
[answers telephone] Hello?

Lt. Tragg:
You don't care what hours you keep.

Perry Mason:
Who is this?

Lt. Tragg:
Your friend and admirer.

Perry Mason:
Lt Tragg?

Lt. Tragg:
Yes it is.

Della Street:
You've tampered with my digestion and obstructed my feeding procedure for quite some time.

Perry Mason:
I plead guilty, what's the fine?

Della Street:
One dinner.

Perry Mason:
Hmm...

Della Street:
Payable - now.

Hamilton Burger:
At about five minutes to nine on the night of the murder, did you receive a phone call which caused you...

Perry Mason:
Objection, your honor. Incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial - and improper questioning, in that it takes up matters not part of the direct examination.

Judge:
Sustained.

Hamilton Burger:
Mr. Dorrell, did you have an appointment at nine o'clock on the night of the murder with the defendant at your house...

Perry Mason:
Objection, your honor, on the same grounds.

Hamilton Burger:
Your honor, these questions are certainly germane to the issues in this case!

Perry Mason:
Your honor, the prosecution had the opportunity of bringing out all these "germane issues" when it presented its case. The prosecution chose not to do so.

Judge:
Sustained. Mr. Burger, you will confine yourself to proper cross-examination.

Hamilton Burger:
Very well, I have no further questions of the witness at this time. I will bring out what I want to bring out on rebuttal.

Perry Mason:
That would be when the defense is finished with its case.

Hamilton Burger:
Naturally, Mr. Mason.

Lt. Tragg:
I don't need an autopsy to tag this one. It screams murder.

Perry Mason:
When it stops screaming and starts following the rules of evidence, I'll start listening.

Lt. Tragg:
My, we're very legal this morning.

Perry Mason:
Almost anyone is capable of a crime under certain circumstances.

Hamilton Burger:
[to Perry Mason] I'd have you smelling brimstone through a nail-hole if it was up to me.

Della Street:
[to Paul Drake] Hi, beautiful? Where have you been?

Hamilton Burger:
If it please the court, the state has unearthed new evidence which will, I am happy to say, clarify, once and for all, just exactly who was doing what.

Lois Reed:
Hello, lawyer. Like a beer? Dance a little?

Perry Mason:
Two lives are at stake, Mr. Burger - I am in no hurry to short-cut the fullest measure of justice for their protection.

Hamilton Burger:
Neither am I, Mr. Mason - I resent your implication that I am.

Judge:
If Mr. Mason's crawling out on a limb, Mr. Burger, let's give him a chance to saw it off.

Perry Mason:
Could Jasper have killed Callendar?

Paul Drake:
Perry, he was only in there ten seconds.

Perry Mason:
How long does it take to stick a sword in a man?

Mr. Park Milgrave:
And - and afterwards - when I took the keys, and found the money in his apartment - I thought I was safe!

Hamilton Burger:
A murderer is never safe, Mr. Milgrave. That idea is as false as this money you printed.

Paul Drake:
Reality! Someone sticks a knife in a rag doll and a curvy blond doll takes a step into no where.

Max Armstead:
Look, will you do me a favor? - will you keep your sermons? I don't need a preacher, I need a lawyer - that - that's what I'm paying you for!

Perry Mason:
You pay for advice - it's time you learned to take some.

Douglas Kelland:
Wahine, have you been smoking opium or something?

Perry Mason:
Now it seems to me the place to start is at the beginning.

Carl Davis:
[to Marjory Davis] Why don't you go take a shower or something? You look a mess.

Zack Davis:
That's... real tricky. Real complicated and tricky. I - I guess murder's like that.

Perry Mason:
No, sir. Murder is usually very simple. It's the getting away with it that's real complicated and tricky.

Lt. Tragg:
[at the murder scene] What brings you here?

Perry Mason:
I wanted to have a little talk with Marshall Scott.

[pause]

Perry Mason:
Murder?

Lt. Tragg:
That's right. What was the little talk about?

Perry Mason:
That's confidential, Lieutenant. That bookend the murder weapon?

Lt. Tragg:
That's confidential, Counselor.

Perry Mason:
Find it Paul, use a fine tooth comb

Paul Drake:
Mind if I use a vacuum

Perry Mason:
Will you come back?

Gladys Strome:
Why should I? For the first time in my life, I'm happy.

Perry Mason:
What kind of happiness can you build on someone else's misfortune?

Gladys Strome:
Please, spare us the bromides.

Hamilton Burger:
Well, Perry... is business really as bad as that? I mean, chickens and rats and dogs and cats? Or did I detect an undercurrent here of something else?

Perry Mason:
There are always undercurrents where large sums of money are involved, Hamilton. In this case, let's just hope that nobody gets drowned.

Marion Shelby:
[to Frank Lawton] You know, you're the handiest handyman I've ever known.

Perry Mason:
Tragg, how long have we known each other?

Lt. Tragg:
Long enough.

Perry Mason:
And during that time you've called me everything under the sun.

Lt. Tragg:
It still goes. For my dough, you're - you're unscrupulous... conniving, ah... unprincipled...

Perry Mason:
What about stupid?

Lt. Tragg:
No, stupid you're not.

Lt. Tragg:
Oy gevalt!

Perry Mason:
The traffic in narcotics has enraged every decent-thinking man and woman in this country.

Perry Mason:
[Lt.Tragg enters Perry's office] Well, how are you Tragg?

Lt. Tragg:
Oh, I'm glad to see you in a good humor. Now sit down and let me make you unhappy.

Inez Kaylor:
And did you have some reason for coming up here... besides wanting to change the world?

Paul Drake:
Yeah - what happened at the courthouse?

Inez Kaylor:
Well I wouldn't know - I wasn't there very long.

Paul Drake:
Oh I'm painfully aware of that. The point is, why did you leave?

Inez Kaylor:
Let's... um... call it a change of heart.

Paul Drake:
You have a change of heart, and an innocent man pays for it, huh?

Inez Kaylor:
Oh honey - send him my regrets.

Paul Drake:
He'll appreciate that... right up to the time they drop the cyanide pellets... you don't seem very shook up about it.

Inez Kaylor:
Why don't you just quietly drop dead?

Paul Drake:
Inez, anybody check your whereabouts the night Kim Lane was murdered?

Inez Kaylor:
What kind of a crack is that?

Paul Drake:
All I know is you're doing the greatest silent act since they invented talkies - why?

Alice Gorman:
[to her husband Carl] Our company tis of thee, sweet corporate entity.

Lt. Tragg:
Well I'm glad this one's over. I'm beat.

Della Street:
Dig the hipster.

Lt. Tragg:
Don't bug me Granny. I'm one of the cool ones. I don't dig slick chicks trying to goose me up, Daddio!

Della Street:
Perry, what's a schnook?

Myra Heston:
Karen Lewis could no more steal from this company or sell its formulas than she could fall for an old goat like you.

Prof. Edward Lindley:
Could they be footprints?

Lt. Andy Anderson:
Red and five feet apart? Not unless they were left by a Martian nine feet tall.

Hamilton Burger:
Don't tell me you're planning to call a surprise extraterrestrial witness?

Prof. Edward Lindley:
[giving a slight smile] I just might.

Perry Mason:
Hello Paul, how's the party?

Paul Drake:
It died and so did the hostess.

Perry Mason:
Why did you go to the Bluebell Motel on the night of the murder?

Edmund Arthur Lacey:
As I said, to thwart any swindle which might reflect on the good name of my publication.

Perry Mason:
Well, if you had no control over Mr. Barnaby's actions, how did you expect to accomplish that?

Edmund Arthur Lacey:
Well, I... I hoped to reason with him.

Perry Mason:
Did you talk with Mr. Barnaby?

Edmund Arthur Lacey:
No, no, I never entered his room.

Perry Mason:
Then how did you hope to reason with him? By mental telepathy?

Lt. Tragg:
You know, it always makes it easier when somebody says "What do you want?"

Frank Brooks:
Ten to one, it ain't a hamburger.

Faith Foster:
What do you want?

Lt. Tragg:
Thank you, miss.

Perry Mason:
Why didn't you like Royce, Mr. West?

Jim West:
The theater is something very special to me, Mr. Mason. It's been my family, my home; everything I've ever wanted. When I'm inside a theater, I'm in a church. When I see a great play, I hear angels singing. When I see great performances, I'm walking the streets of Heaven. Those streets are very clean and beautiful, Mr. Mason. They should be kept that way.

Perry Mason:
I repeat - why didn't you like Ernest Royce?

Jim West:
He was a litterbug.

Perry Mason:
Nice kid!

Paul Drake:
Kid, you ought to feel the arms on that moose!

Perry Mason:
You can take him.

Perry Mason:
Della, Della, think like a woman for a minute.

Della Street:
I'll try.

Luke Hickey:
[Confessing in open court to the murder of Frank Curran] It's funny how things work out. You saw my place; it's really a dump... but you don't know what it means. People on the street would say, "There goes Luke Hickey, he owns a restaurant." It was... very important to me, kinda... you know what I mean? Then when I couldn't meet my bills I guess... I just flipped. Then when I saw this crumb who... probably never did an honest day's work in his whole life, I - I don't know, it just didn't seem right that he should have all this money and... I should need it so bad.

Perry Mason:
I'd love to help, Eileen, if only because you were the first woman who ever proposed to me. [to Della Street] It was on her father's farm in Oregon. She was seven at the time.

Perry Mason:
[to Lt. Drumm] Did they get smart and transfer you from Homicide to Traffic?

Perry Mason:
Two pawn tickets- one she hides in the label of a mink coat, the other ticket stays in her purse where anybody might find it. It's inconsistent.

Paul Drake:
She's a woman.

Perry Mason:
Nah, that's no excuse.

Lt. Tragg:
[to the murderer, after a gunfight in which the murderer is seriously wounded] Isn't one cop enough, you miserable...

Perry Mason:
Are you all right, Tragg?

Lt. Tragg:
Just sick to my stomach from looking at HIM!

Paul Drake:
I'm not a lawyer - I don't have your professional immunity.

Perry Mason:
It's your duty to answer questions - you don't have to run around giving out information.

Lt. Tragg:
Drake, you have a license to operate as a private detective - you know as well as I do that we can take it away - if you withhold evidence.

Paul Drake:
I know.

Lt. Tragg:
Personally, I don't care if you go on earning a living as a private cop or not - you're going to make that decision - right now.

Lt. Tragg:
As a lawyer, you're also an officer of the court - you have a responsibility, Mason, and if you duck it or obstruct the police you're going to have to face the consequences.

Reggie Lansfield:
I'm looking for Victoria Dawn's cabin.

Ernie Craig:
I'm allowed visitors too.

Reggie Lansfield:
Please please I must find her.

Ernie Craig:
Turn left at the next empty gin bottle, you'll find her.

Perry Mason:
When you pick someone to lie to, Mrs. Granger, never choose your doctor or lawyer. In both cases they can be fatal.

Woman:
Oh Dr. Kenyon, you were so right! Everything you said in your column was the truth. Culross is so, so chic. I've already bought his "Moonscape" and "Tenement Shadows." Can you suggest a third? You see, the wall will hold three if the frames are small.

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Well, I think his "Perspective in Black" might be just the thing. Over there, before anyone else gets it.

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Well, Austin, this must be a proud and profitable moment.

Austin Durrant:
That it is, Vincent.

Perry Mason:
Good art is like music. It should be enjoyed, not dissected.

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
An excellent sentiment, Mr. Mason, but a bit basic perhaps. You wanted to see me? I'm Vincent Kenyon.

Perry Mason:
Dr. Kenyon, I'm interested in a painting called "The Three Witches." I was told you'd bought it.

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Yes, you passed it as you came in. It's the best of the Culross collection.

Perry Mason:
It has been suggested that the painting was completed by another artist after Culross' death.

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Are you Mrs. Culross' attorney? A very emotional woman, Mr. Mason, totally ignorant of art. This canvas is genuine, from first stroke to last.

Perry Mason:
You seem to be an expert on Culross, Dr. Kenyon.

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
I should be. I was the first to recognize his talent.

Perry Mason:
You have no objection to our verifying your observation scientifically?

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Well, inexpert handling of a valuable canvas is really quite out of the question.

Perry Mason:
That's reasonable, Doctor, but we will in no way touch the painting.

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Ah. Well, very well. [Mason examines the painting with a piece of equipment]

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Well, Mr. Mason, are you satisfied?

Perry Mason:
Completely. My thanks for your cooperation.

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Well, if you had accepted my opinion, you could have saved yourself trouble. Anyone even with the remotest familiarity with Culross' work would never begin to doubt the authenticity of this canvas. Obviously you were wasting your time.

Perry Mason:
You could be right, Dr. Kenyon. Good day.

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Good day, Mr. Mason.

Hamilton Burger:
As curator of the Hessler museum, then, you bought a number of paintings at this exhibition.

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Yes, Mr. Burger, I did.

Hamilton Burger:
Dr. Kenyon, could you explain to this court exactly how the death of an artist can relate to the sale of his work?

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
In an artist of Culross' caliber, it's the inevitable law of supply and demand. When the source of the supply is dead, prices rise, if the paintings have merit.

Hamilton Burger:
In effect, Dr. Kenyon, you were the victim of a fraud, a fraud perpetrated by Durrant the art dealer, by the artist himself, and by anyone else who that knew Culross was alive or who participated in setting up his mock suicide or his posthumous exhibition.

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Unfortunately I was the victim of just such a fraud.

Perry Mason:
Dr. Kenyon, you are an expert on fine arts?

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
It has been said so.

Perry Mason:
When you purchased the painting called "The Three Witches" for the Hessler collection, it was in the belief that Jack Culross was dead?

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Yes.

Perry Mason:
As you previously stated, you were the unwitting victim of a fraud.

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Well, obviously.

Perry Mason:
As you were when you bought a forged Matisse from Culross?

Hamilton Burger:
Your Honor, we protest.

Judge:
The witness will answer the question.

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Well, I...

Perry Mason:
Dr. Kenyon, did you not buy from Jack Culross an alleged Matisse called "Blue Waters"?

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
Yes, I did.

Perry Mason:
Are you aware that the genuine "Blue Waters" is in a private collection in London?

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
But I found that out later.

Hamilton Burger:
Your Honor, we protest this irrelevant attempt to degrade a witness for the state.

Judge:
Since this is related to probity of the expert witness, I find it most relevant and illuminating. Continue, Mr. Mason.

Perry Mason:
Was Culross blackmailing you in order to promote his career, Dr. Kenyon?

Dr. Vincent Kenyon:
I won't answer! I won't!

Miriam Waters:
Look, Mr. Mason - I was only his secretary - not his conscience. I did what I was told to do - period.

Perry Mason:
Out of loyalty or love, Miss Waters?

Miriam Waters:
What difference does that make? He's dead, isn't he? Sure, I suppose he was robbing everybody blind. Maybe he never intended to make "Mr. Nobody." And maybe he was trying to promote himself into some overseas production unit, but so what? That's the way the business is - and that's the way a lot of the people in it are. Charlie was no better than many; I admit that. But he was no worse than most, either.

Perry Mason:
Now, dad-blame it, let's have the WHOLE truth!

Prosecutor Darryl Teshman:
Your honor, I object! This entire line of questioning is incompetent, irrelevant, and immaterial!

District Attorney Hamilton Burger:
[under his breath] Oh, sit down and be quiet.

Judge:
Objection overruled!

District Attorney Hamilton Burger:
[under his breath] Good!

Milo Girard:
You're a hack, Hubble. You have all the creativity of a housepainter.

Aaron Hubble:
They said that about Van Gogh.

Milo Girard:
Then why don't you compare yourself to Da Vinci while you're at it?

Evelyn Girard:
The way he talked...

Milo Girard:
Oh yes. Another member of the "Hate Girard" society. I believe you're the president. Aren't you, my dear?

Evelyn Girard:
I've earned the office.

Milo Girard:
You really despise me, don't you?

Evelyn Girard:
I don't think I'll ever be happy again as long as you live.

Milo Girard:
Good night, my child.

Aaron Hubble:
Actually I can't stand the stuff. I just drink because it's expected of me.

Hamilton Burger:
[to Margo Lawrence] All right, I promise to give you the very best break I can. [slapping his cast] Not like this.

Hamilton Burger:
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Mr. Mason has indeed surpassed himself. He has created for you a story which is pure poppycock! - absolute and complete nonsense. The defendant in this case is a shrewd, scheming woman. She seduced her employer, she stole from him and finally she murdered him. And as for Mr. Mason's ridiculous theory about a hose, this is an *abandoned real estate office* we're talking about - the water's been shut off there for over a year - how can anyone possibly...

Perry Mason:
Your honor, the District Attorney is stating facts not in evidence. Since he lost the opportunity to get these matters in legitimately, in rebuttal, he is now trying to do it through prejudicial misconduct. I ask the court to declare a mistrial.

Hamilton Burger:
A *mistrial*! - how can you -...

Judge:
Mr. Burger, Mr. Mason's point is well taken...

Paul Drake:
Why is it - every time a beautiful girl walks into this office, my normally intelligent friend...

Perry Mason:
She wasn't so beautiful, Paul - that's what intrigued me.

Paul Drake:
You're worse off than I thought.

Agnes Theilman:
After they got married, she really let herself go and became an absolute barrel.

Hamilton Burger:
Mrs. Theilman, you never told me that you spoke to anyone in this case named Vidal.

Carlotta Theilman:
You never asked me.

Perry Mason:
Oh, will you be long?

Irene Bedford:
Two and a half minutes. Time me.

Lola Florey:
Little Lola made a boo-boo.

Lola Florey:
The last time I got public-spirited it almost earned me a shroud.

Hamp Fisher:
Say, I'm not the kind of guy that jumps to conclusions, but I get the feeling you don't like me.

Paul Drake:
You know, I'm not the kind of guy that passes out compliments, but you've really got me figured.

Paul Drake:
[holding a fortune dispensed from a scale] According to this, I was just about to meet a tall, handsome gentleman who would make me independently wealthy.

Perry Mason:
I'll tell him when I see him.

Della Street:
[after Della gets off the phone with Chapman's secretary] Incidentally Mr. Chapman, I have a message for you from her. She says that works piling up, things are in a turmoil, and the office needs you.

Perry Mason:
That sounds exactly like a secretary!

Della Street:
He's a nice fellow. He has all the finer instincts of a scorpion.

Paul Drake:
[after being handed a subpoena by Tragg] Burger would never call me.

Lt. Tragg:
He might and then again he might not. But if I were you I'd get some good legal advice. Would you like to have me recommend a good lawyer?

[last lines]

Perry Mason:
[At a restaurant, Burger has had to admit that he was wrong accusing Mason of perjury] The least I can do is buy you lunch.

Hamilton Burger:
Oh, alright.

Perry Mason:
Amy, one order of crow. He'll eat it here.

Sherman Hatfield:
Mr. Gaussner, you may answer this question with a yes or a no or anyway you like. What were your feelings for Hollis Wilburn?

Hamilton Burger:
Well Miss Street, having you here just as a witness for the prosecution is a rare experience for both of us

Della Street:
I'll try not to be hostile, Mr. Burger.

Hamilton Burger:
Well... That would be a rare experience too.

Hamilton Burger:
Your honor, this is just another wild-eyed, dramatic grandstand play for which counsel is so noted.

Della Street:
What do you know about art?

Paul Drake:
Me? I don't even know what I like.

Perry Mason:
We get out of life what we deserve - no better, no worse.

Paul Drake:
[quoting Charles E. Carryl's poem] Oh, a capital ship for an ocean trip, was the Walloping Window Blind... Are you prone to mal de mer, Perry?

Perry Mason:
Only on a windjammer, rounding the Horn.

Madame Sonya Galinova:
He thinks like a peasant, he drinks like a peasant, and he lies like a peasant!

Walter Frazer:
A blind man often accuses the rest of the world of being blind.

Perry Mason:
When all else fails, there's only one thing left to do - that's appeal to someone's better instincts.

Paul Drake:
And hope he has some.

Hamilton Burger:
He has treated us in this case to a time-wasting exhibition of legal hocus-pocus which reaches a new low - even for him.

Perry Mason:
I don't think much of people who prey on other people's weaknesses - who peddle gossip, who blow up snapshots into dirty postcards.

Perry Mason:
Some things a lawyer has to do aren't very pleasant. He takes his clients as they come. They're in trouble so he can't always expect them to tell the truth... He's a fool if he completely trusts any client, but that's beside the point. His job is to believe and to help them as best he can. The only times when he's really a fool is when he sticks by a client who won't trust him.

Mr. Smith:
Like the man said, for stones I'm an elephant, but for faces, faces... faces to me is like cockroaches; I don't know the difference one from another.

Paul Drake:
As Perry would say, Murder is never funny.

Perry Mason:
"why do you think it's murder, Lt.?"

Lt Tragg:
" I guess I'm just the gloomy type"

“I’m not the police. I’m your lawyer, I want the truth!”