Philip Marlowe, Private Eye

Philip Marlowe:
Hollywood's the kind of town where they stick a knife in your back and then have you arrested for carrying a concealed weapon.

Lt. Victor "Violet" Magee:
Can he sing me a song?

Philip Marlowe:
You ask him right and he'll sing you an opera.

Philip Marlowe:
Hollywood is the kind of town where they stick a knife in your back and then have you arrested for carrying a concealed weapon.

Philip Marlowe:
Usually it's so quiet in Beverly Hills you can hear the scratch of a fountain pen on a movie contract three mansions away.

Philip Marlowe:
Suddenly I felt like I was taking a trip down a sewer in a glass-bottom boat.

[a phone conversation between Marlowe and Magee]

Lt. Victor "Violet" Magee:
[picks up the phone] Magee.

Philip Marlowe:
What do you know about a guy named King Leopardi?

Lt. Victor "Violet" Magee:
Never heard of him. Who is he?

Philip Marlowe:
Top-line horn blower out of Chicago. Last night, he hits town, and already there's somebody around who thinks Leopardi shouldn't be.

Lt. Victor "Violet" Magee:
What's that got to do with me?

Philip Marlowe:
Well, I thought you might check him out for me with the Windy City, any connection with the mob, dope, the usual list.

Lt. Victor "Violet" Magee:
You got a lot of nerve, Marlowe. What do you think I'm running here, some kind of an information bureau?

[pops a breath mint into his mouth]

Philip Marlowe:
You said you owed me one for the Spencer case.

Lt. Victor "Violet" Magee:
I did? Okay, I'll see what I can do. Now what's this Leopardi to you, anyway?

Philip Marlowe:
I'm thinking of auditioning for him. Oh, and Magee?

Lt. Victor "Violet" Magee:
Yeah?

Philip Marlowe:
Too much candy rots your teeth.

Lt. Victor "Violet" Magee:
They're false already!

[slams down the phone]

The Ringer:
You Marlowe?

Philip Marlowe:
That's what the name says on the door...

Scalise:
You Marlowe?

Philip Marlowe:
No, "P" Marlowe.

Scalise:
Huh?

Philip Marlowe:
Philip... "P", not "U"?