Pon un hombre en tu vida

Juan Antonio:
[to a doctor] Stop calling me mister. Where's my body? And please don't tell me that it's a medical error! You don't care but I'm getting married on Sunday. So where's my body?

Belinda:
We've changed chassis.

Juan Antonio:
Did you always want to be a girl, or what?

Belinda:
Me? I hate being a girl!

Juan Antonio:
Well, I feel as if I'm inside a robot. A hairy one.

Belinda:
You know how a man feels sitting down for a leak?

Eduardo:
She's changed since the accident.

Juan Antonio:
No, she'll come back to normal, she will, really. Belinda is an extraordinary girl, full of life, and pretty. Very pretty. Your folks will love her.

Eduardo:
I hope so. They don't trust my taste in women.

Juan Antonio:
Yeah. After your first wife...

Eduardo:
How do you know?

Juan Antonio:
Well, I guessed. Who hasn't had a first wife? Drink? Please, a champagne cocktail and a dry martini, no olive.

Eduardo:
How do you know?

Juan Antonio:
What?

Eduardo:
The olive.

Juan Antonio:
I know so much about you.

Eduardo:
Really?

Juan Antonio:
Eduardo, you have a mole just above your navel. You close your eyes when you're kissed.

Eduardo:
Yeah...

Juan Antonio:
And... you whisper things when you make love.

Eduardo:
F***!

Juan Antonio:
The only real problem is that their morale is awful.

Miguel:
Whose problem is that?

Juan Antonio:
Juan Antonio's.

Miguel:
Before that injury wrecked your career, we were friends.

Juan Antonio:
Was my career ruined?

Miguel:
Juan, you know you never got over having to retire so young.

Juan Antonio:
It was very difficult.

Miguel:
It's no reason to f*** us up, damn it!

Juan Antonio:
Why don't you train them?

Miguel:
You always tell me I'm second rate. You told me that a thousand times.

Juan Antonio:
Do I say that?

Miguel:
Yes.

Juan Antonio:
He's such an ass!

Miguel:
And now you're giving them yoga classes!

Juan Antonio:
Is that wrong?

Miguel:
No, it isn't. But I'm really pissed off. And as for the guys... And you're odd! No, you're not odd. You're a bit strange.

Miguel:
[just before Juan Antonio start laughing] No, don't laugh. If you said it was a tactic... But I don't get it.

Juan Antonio:
It's a tactic.

Juan Antonio:
[to all his soccer players] Right, guys. You hear me? Let's try to cheer up. I don't know, why doesn't someone tell a joke?