Pootie Tang

J.B.:
Pootie Tang will draw you a picture of how he gonna kick your ass, then mail it to you ten days in advance. The picture gets there right? You're goin', "What the hell is this?" and then Pootie Tang knocks on your door, Promptly kicks your ass and you still won't know what happened to you!

Pootie Tang:
Dirty Dee, you're a baddy daddy lamatai tebby chai!

Pootie Tang:
Sa da tay!

Pootie Tang:
Sepotown!

Dirty Dee:
Pootie Tang! I come to call you out, maggoty eatin' B*TCH!

Pootie Tang:
Ain't come one, but many tine tanies!

Trucky:
You can't hurt a ho with a belt... they like that sh*t.

Dirty Dee:
Yeah hehehehe Cappatown my ASS!

Pootie Tang:
Kapa-Chow.

Narrator:
Dirty Dee is still dirty... because he's Dirty Dee dammit!

Biggie Shorty:
You think that just cuz a girl likes to dress fancy and stand on the corner next to some whores, that she's hookin?

J.B.:
That was only the second time someone had been mauled to death by a gorilla in that factory in that month!

J.B.:
Pootie Tang will draw you a picture of how he's gonna kick your ass, then mail it to you ten days in advance. The picture gets there, right? You go, "What the hell is this?" Then Pootie Tang knocks on your door, promptly kicks your ass, and you still won't know what happened to you!

Trucky:
Got that right. He is a kick-ass artiste, know what I'm sayin'?. He like the da Vinci of ass-kickin'. What's that gonna be, right? Pootie Tang — the da Vinci of Ass-Kickin'!

J.B.:
Aw man, Pootie Tang whoop your ass so bad that you could write it off on your taxes, that's right. You got right here: ass-whoopin' number one, ass-whoopin' number two, this right here, you can't write that off. That's just gettin' beat up.

Lacey:
You know, I'd like to also add that Pootie Tang can kick some ass too, boy.

J.B.:
Yo Man, a Biggie Shorty party is exclusive, man. They don't let nobody in a Biggie Shorty party. They got a line around the block, aint nobody in man. You know What, Nobody we know can get in this party Man. They don't let no Light in, They don't let no Electricity in, They don't let no Water in, They don't let no Air in! Air's right now going "Hey Man I'm Air, I'm on the list, let me in." and they won't let Air in, and you know Air gets in everywhere. That's How exclusive A Biggie Shorty Party is.

Lacey:
And you know what else, it's hard to get in too. [pause]

J.B.:
I HATE YOU!

Pootie Tang:
Cole me on the panny sty.

Bob Costas:
...I'm sorry. What was that?

Pootie Tang:
Cole — Cole me on the panny sty.

Bob Costas:
What the hell are you talking about?

Pootie Tang:
...Cole me down on the panny sty?

Bob Costas:
Ohhhh, cole me down on the panny sty! All right!

Pootie Tang:
"Pootie Tang-A" appears as a white man dressed in black face posing as Pootie Tang

Pootie Tang:
As a child, Pootie Tang has his mother die and his father raise him just briefly. His father gives him a "magic" belt - the very same belt he's disciplined with - on his deathbed.

Pootie Tang:
"Camietowns a biddie; wapatah to the bammies on the Pannie Stai! Cigarettes/Fast food = Netatai Baddy!" - an example of Pootie Tang's idiosyncratic speech offered early in the film. A PSA ad aimed at children is so effective, it launches the plot. Corporate America - embodied in Dave Atell, and "Lecter Corp." - attempts to seize Pootie's voice (20,000,000 USD is offered) which Pootie refuses on moral grounds ("That's a canapan to the semachai") with a "nay-no" [see below]]. Pootie refuses to "wah-da-tah to the shama cow", interpreted generally as Pootie will not succumb to any corporation's will [needs citation]. Irene "Hoochie Ma Chicken Head" is unleashed by Lecter Corp. to seek Pootie and steal his "magic" belt. In the tradition the solitary hero - Odysseus, Cuchulainn, and so on - Pootie has friends, not be relied on for sustenance, but friends nevertheless. Wanda Sykes plays one such friend - the classic "hooker with the heart of gold" who isn't actually a hooker - who hosts parties not even "air can get into" without an invitation.

Trucky:
It was incredible! Only the third time a man had been mauled by a gorilla at that steel mill!

Trucky:
He was rejuvenated. You hear that? Rejuvenated. He was juvenated before, lost it... and got juvenated again. Rejuvenated!

Dirty Dee:
Yeah! Hahahaha! Sepatown my ass!