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[from trailer]

Zack Nimbus:
Why'd you let him hit you?

Sam:
It was his turn.

Villager Girl:
[as Zack fights an enemy] You can move in three dimensions!

Zack Nimbus:
Oh, right.

Forest Guardian:
Must you pummel me with my unborn children?

Zack Nimbus:
[looking at the tomato in his hand] Sick... I never thought about it that way...

[beat]

Lin-Ku:
Do it anyway!

Sam:
[notices the door to the abandoned ninja academy is locked] Great, the door is locked.

Zack Nimbus:
Well, can't we break the glass?

Lin-Ku:
[fed up] That's NINJA glass! You can't break NINJA glass!

G. Fourman:
[regarding the introductions in fighting games] You, in the suit! Do the thing!

Sam:
Huh? [G. Fourman motions to table with microphone] Oh, OK! Round One. FIGHT!

Lin-Ku:
[after talking to Zack about last night with Sam, and Zack is oblivious to the fact that Sam is a girl, but Lin-Ku thinks that Zack is gay] I knew there was something off about you, but I don't understand! You liked the visions of the tournament girls, right?

Zack Nimbus:
Yeah, cause I'm straight.

Lin-Ku:
But, you don't like Sam?

Zack Nimbus:
No! He's a guy!

Lin-Ku:
[stares blankly, then angrily backhands Zack] Sam's a CHICK, moron!

Shopkeeper:
[after receiving the trophy in the training arena] If there's anything you ever need, you can expect my prices to be more than reasonable.

Lin-Ku:
Hmm... [nods to Sam and Zack and then swings his axe at the Shopkeeper] HYAH!

Shopkeeper:
[just axed in the skull] AGGH! OW! WHAT DID YOU DO!

Sam:
[angrily] What the hell did you do THAT for?

Lin-Ku:
I wanted to see if my weapon could hurt him!

Zack Nimbus:
What!

Lin-Ku:
I was curious! I didn't know if my weapon could hurt normal people!

Zack Nimbus:
Why WOULDN'T it?

Lin-Ku:
Well, they're normal, not enemies! They're good guys!

Zack Nimbus:
That's a reason NOT to hit them!

Lin-Ku:
Well, now I know.

Sam:
He's not gonna be happy when he gets better. We should get out of here. [Leaves quickly, as the others follow suit]

Shopkeeper:
[still moaning in pain]

Lin-Ku:
[looks around, and returns to pick up his axe from the Shopkeeper's skull]

[last lines]

Lei Gong:
You know what, I think we can go now.

Sasori:
About time!

[pulls out sunglasses and puts them on]

Lei Gong:
Why do you carry those around? You look ridiculous in those.

Sasori:
Eh. [shrugs and they leave, followed by a title card saying "GAME OVER"]

Lin-Ku:
[fighting Sasori and Lei Gong] Wait! Don't kill them!

Zack Nimbus:
Did you say DON'T kill them?

Lin-Ku:
I know, it felt weird.

Sam:
You could use some more experience. And there's one skill you haven't even learned yet.

Zack Nimbus:
I am NOT playing Jackamo.

Lin-Ku:
Oh, it's not Jackamo.

Sam:
[cut to interior dance studio; Sam is holding cards with arrows on them] It's very simple. You just follow the arrows. They'll tell you where to put your feet.

Zack Nimbus:
Why am I doing this again?

Lin-Ku:
It's important!

Zack Nimbus:
You've got to be kidding me.

Zack Nimbus, Lin-Ku:
[after making it to Count Vile's throne room] HAH!

Count Nefarious Vile:
I've been expecting you!

[turns around to see no-one behind him]

Zack Nimbus:
[offscreen] Lin-Ku, this is a closet.

Lin-Ku:
Well, all these doors look the same!

Zack Nimbus:
Wait, is that one it? Go check!

[Lin-Ku pops his head out, and motions to Zack to come in, and Vile is staring at them]

Zack Nimbus, Lin-Ku:
Uh, the doors, they all look the same, kinda confusing, you know. You should have these thing labeled...

[quickly snap out of it]

Zack Nimbus, Lin-Ku:
HAH!

Count Nefarious Vile:
I've been expecting you!