Pretty Little Liars

Caleb Rivers:
You're the queen of heels and handbags. But out here you're dora the explorer. You have any other personalities I should know about?

Ella Montgomery:
I haven't been out on a real date since George Clooney was on "ER".

[Aria muscles up the courage to tell her dad's secret... ]

Aria Montgomery:
Mom.

Ella Montgomery:
Yeah?

[... but she backs down]

Aria Montgomery:
Can I have a carrot?

Hanna Marin:
You don't know the first thing about me.

Caleb Rivers:
No, you don't know the first thing about you.

Caleb Rivers:
The rich girls steal. The pretty girls lie. The smart girls play dumb. And the dumb girls spend their days trying to be all of the above.

Caleb Rivers:
Rich girls steal, pretty girls lie, smart girls play dumb and the dumb girls spend their days trying to be all of the above.

[last lines]

Lorenzo Calderon:
Ali, what's this about?

Alison DiLaurentis:
Last night you asked me if I thought my friends had anything to do with Charlotte's murder.

Lorenzo Calderon:
Do you wanna change your answer?

Alison DiLaurentis:
Yes.

Aria Montgomery:
[to Liam] Ezra Fitz is not the same person that you met on his book tour two years ago.

[last lines]

[to A in a video message]

Caleb Rivers:
I don't know who you are or what kind of game you think you're playing, but guess what? If you can change the rules, so can we. Goodbye.

Aria Montgomery:
When you love someone, it's worth fighting for. No matter what the odds.

Mona Vanderwall:
Which one of you girls is best at hiding the truth from someone who's close to you?

Spencer Hastings, Hanna Marin, Emily Fields:
[all pointing at Aria] Her.

Aria Montgomery:
Wow, really? Thanks, guys.

Hanna Marin:
[On Jenna] She's at the top of our a list.

[the girls confront Jenna about Alison's video]

Jenna Marshall:
What do you want?

Hanna Marin:
The truth. Think you ca handle that?

[Aria enters, looking depressed]

Aria Montgomery:
[to Emily and Hanna] Ezra's back...

[beat]

Aria Montgomery:
...and so is Mrs. Fitz-scary.

[discussing Tom's mother]

Emily Fields:
This must be so weird for you.

Ashley Marin:
Not really, she gave us a lawn mower as a wedding gift.

Caleb Rivers:
What's the hurry? You want to be the first in line. Too see your boy Justin Bieber's new movie?

Hanna Marin:
First of all, it's not just a movie. It's his real story.

Caleb Rivers:
About what... his hair?

Hanna Marin:
You know what, just don't talk about the Beebs, okay? You don't know the Beebs, you don't understand the Beebs. Or his hair.

Hanna Marin:
You are like one of those things that sticks to the side of boats that can only be removed with a hacksaw or something.

Caleb Rivers:
Very nice. I thought fancy Rosewood girls like you knew how to say "please" and "thank you".

Hanna Marin:
Well, please peel your sweaty body off of my locker. Thank you.

Caleb Rivers:
Skipping gym? If you really want to earn some bad girl stripes, I'd be happy to help.

Hanna Marin:
If you're proposing that we get matching tattoos, the answer is no.

Aria Montgomery:
"Mona played with dolls, I play with body parts."

Spencer Hastings:
"Game on, b*tches."

Spencer Hastings, Hanna Marin, Aria Montgomery, Emily Fields:
"A."

Caleb Rivers:
I should have told you in person, I just... I had never said the things that I was feeling, and I didn't feel that I could say those things without making a complete ass of myself. Pretty much like I am right now... So I wrote you a letter. And in the letter Is aid I was sorry. Most of my life, I have felt alone, even when I was with people... that was until I met you.

Ian Thomas:
[to Spencer] You know, you can't avoid me. I live in your backyard.

[Hanna steals a roll of money from A's hideaway]

Aria Montgomery:
Hanna, you're taking that?

Hanna Marin:
Yes. 'A' owes me: hospital bills, pain and suffering, tire marks on my cleavage...

Spencer Hastings:
Hanna, I like stray dogs, too. But sometimes they bite.

Hanna Marin:
Well, he's had his shots.

Aria Montgomery:
My mom and dad are having an affair with each other.

Hanna Marin:
Hanna: Ok, I need to ask you guys something and I need you to be totally honest with me.

Spencer Hastings:
Spencer: Off course.

Aria Montgomery:
Aria: Sure.

Emily Fields:
Emily: Sure.

Hanna Marin:
Hanna: Is this side of my face fatter than this side?

Spencer Hastings:
Spencer: No!

Aria Montgomery:
Aria: No!

Emily Fields:
Emily: No!

Alison DiLaurentis:
Alison: [about Spencer and Ian's kiss] Ok, gross...

Spencer Hastings:
Spencer: What did you see?

Alison DiLaurentis:
Alison: Enough to make me wanna puke. He's your sister's boyfriend, and is like... old.

Spencer Hastings:
Spencer: Oh, it was nothing, just forget it. Ok?

Alison DiLaurentis:
Alison: It looked like you were into it.

Spencer Hastings:
Spencer: Well, I wasn't.

Alison DiLaurentis:
Alison: I hope not, because if you were that would make you a skank.

Ashley Marin:
Ashley: Mrs. Potter how are you?

Mrs. Potter:
Mrs. Potter: I'm old, how are you?

Aria Montgomery:
Camp Mona?

Mona Vanderwaal:
Don't let the camping part scare you. It's glamping not camping. M is for Mona and massages, not mosquitoes.

Emily Fields:
You're not paranoid if somebody's really out to get you.

[the girls know that Jenna can see, and discussing what to do about it]

Hanna Marin:
I say we push a table in front of her and see what she does.

Spencer Hastings:
Hanna, you have all the subtlety of a hand grenade.

Hanna Marin:
[Not getting the sarcasm] Thank you.

[to some jocks who are harassing Hanna]

Aria Montgomery:
Don't you guys have practice, or did you lose your balls?

Emily Fields:
Emily [to Jenna, about Toby] "Someone should have come between you two a long time ago-maybe a social worker with a bucket of ice water."

Emily Fields:
Emily [to Jenna, about Toby] "Someone should have come between you two a long time ago, maybe a social worker with a bucket of ice water."

Spencer Hastings:
He had his hands in her panty drawer!

Toby Cavanaugh:
I love you, so much

Spencer Hastings:
I wanted to say that first

Caleb Rivers:
Wow, when I'm falling for a girl, I, uh usually cook her a meal. You are building her a house.

Toby Cavanaugh:
So how about you? You, uh... You cooking for anyone?

Toby Cavanaugh:
That's why I'm here.

Toby Cavanaugh:
Does that have to do with Hanna? You're still holding on to that?

Caleb Rivers:
Uh, actually I connected with someone a few years ago. The timing wasn't right and it was just... It-it felt really complicated. It still is pretty complicated.

Toby Cavanaugh:
For someone who's a straight shooter you're really talking in circles.

Caleb Rivers:
It's Spencer.

Jordan:
People screw up, that's why lawyers have jobs.

Sabrina:
Life is short, Emily. Save your lies for someone who has time to hear them.

Ezra Fitz:
You go somewhere to help, it shouldn't cost you your life.

Spencer Hastings:
How long are you gonna be here for?

Spencer Hastings:
Well, the hearing's tomorrow, and then... and then I don't really know.

Toby Cavanaugh:
Can I... buy you a dinner before you leave?

Spencer Hastings:
Yeah. Sure, we can do that.

Spencer Hastings:
Toby, who are you building the house for?

Toby Cavanaugh:
What makes you think I'm building it for somebody?

Spencer Hastings:
Because I know you.

Emily Fields:
College wasn't what I thought it was gonna be.

Aria Montgomery:
I was on the Redline going to Braintree... and the train stopped in the tunnel between the stations. The power went out and, and it was dark. 'No, not dark. It was black.' 'And I was back in every box' 'in every dark tight space that' "A" ever put me in, and I couldn't breathe. Then I heard a girl crying. Good. I thought somebody else is scared out of her mind. Then... the power came back on and every single person on that train was staring at me. Because I was the girl that was crying.

Spencer Hastings:
[to Aria] You're small, but you are mighty.

Aria Montgomery:
There's a reason why we can't just go around telling the truth. Because it comes back to bite you. Hard.

Melissa Hastings:
I was hoping you'd be happy for me.

Spencer Hastings:
Well, you know what they say about hope, it breeds eternal misery.

A:
I'm still here b*tches, and I know everything!

[the girls each get a text message]

Aria Montgomery:
Oh my god.

Hanna Marin:
It's from...

Emily Fields:
I got one, too.

Spencer Hastings:
[reading text] I'm still here, b*tches...

Spencer Hastings, Hanna Marin, Aria Montgomery, Emily Fields:
[together]... And I know everything. A.

Hanna Marin:
Can I see the Pradas in the front?

Department Store Clerk:
I'll have to put some of these back.

Hanna Marin:
But they're all maybes.

Hanna Marin:
I cannot believe Spencer Hastings actually has time to shop. I mean, you're interning for the mayor, taking classes at Hollis, and redoing the barn. And in your leisure moments you Facebook and tweet.

Spencer Hastings:
You know me. I like to stay busy.

Hanna Marin:
It's called a summer vacay, Spence.

Spencer Hastings:
And you spent yours sunning and shopping.

Hanna Marin:
Tweet tweet.

Maya St. Germain:
Maya [about weed] First time?

Emily Fields:
Emily: No.

Maya St. Germain:
Maya gives her a look.

Emily Fields:
Emily:... Yes.

Maya St. Germain:
Maya: So I'm corrupting you. You okay with that?

Emily Fields:
Emily: Yeah. I think I am.

Byron Montgomery:
Byron: I made a mistake, all right? And I will be sorry about it for the rest of my life. I just hope one day you'll be able to forgive me.

Aria Montgomery:
Aria: I hope so too.

Spencer Hastings:
Spencer: You're not like Melissa's usual boyfriends.

Wren Kim:
Wren: What's so unusual?

Spencer Hastings:
Spencer: I actually like you. That's what's unusual.

Aria Montgomery:
Aria: I think she's playing with us.

Emily Fields:
Emily: Why would she do that?

Aria Montgomery:
Aria: It's Alison that we're talking about. Wasn't that her favorite sport?

Pam Fields:
Emily's mom [on Aria's pink hair] What kind of mother would I be if I let you run around looking like a goth? I mean, that kind of lifestyle might fly in Europe, but it's not going to get you very far here in Rosewood.

Emily Fields:
Emily: Not everyone dreams of making it in Rosewood, Mom. Some people dream of making it out.

Emily Fields:
Emily: Poor Ali.

Hanna Marin:
Hanna: Can you believe what a scene this is?

Aria Montgomery:
Aria: Alison would've loved it.

Spencer Hastings:
Spencer: Popular in life and death.

Spencer Hastings:
Spencer: Careful, Aria. Take too much and you'll tell us all your secrets.

Alison DiLaurentis:
Alison: Friends share secrets. That's what keeps us close.

Alison DiLaurentis:
It's immortality, my darlings.

[Veronica and Spencer get a picture message from Melissa and Ian]

Spencer Hastings:
Where are they? It looks like the mall near Dad's office.

Spencer Hastings:
[Garrett has unexpectedly shown up at Rosewood High] What's going on? Why are you here?

Officer Garrett Reynolds:
Uh, it's my turn to teach the driver's ed class. Hoping I can scare kids into watching the road instead of their cell phones.

Spencer Hastings:
[reading Alison's autopsy report] There was dirt in her lungs.

Aria Montgomery:
What do you mean?

Spencer Hastings:
It means that she was breathing in dirt when she died. That the... the blow to her head isn't what killed her.

Aria Montgomery:
[stammering] I don't...

Spencer Hastings:
Aria, Alison was buried alive.

Hanna Marin:
Please, Jenna can't hear us, she's blind.

[Spencer and Hanna push past Mona to leave Ezra's apartment. Hanna steals a carrot stick on the way out]

Mona Vanderwaal:
[to Ezra, seriously] I want you to know, that was the last carrot stick.

Aria Montgomery:
Hanna stop eating so much

Hanna Marin:
Why?

Aria Montgomery:
Because... Just don't eat it, it could be poisoned... Just like Charles poisoned us

Hanna Marin:
I do not care, i am hungry

Hanna Marin:
Guys!

[Hanna enters, carrying a gift basket]

Hanna Marin:
Read the card.

Emily Fields:
[reading the card] Two liars under one roof. You're making this too easy. -A.

Hanna Marin:
[scoffs] It's not even the good candy.

Caleb Rivers:
Wanna share a towel, too?

Mona Vanderwall:
[during rehearsals for "The Bad Seed"] I think my character's being totally selfish. I don't even know how to play that.

Lucas Gottesman:
Can you look a little less shocked?

Hanna Marin:
I am not shocked, I'm impressed.

Melissa Hastings:
[seeing Caleb and Spencer flirt] When did that happen?

Spencer Hastings:
What? Caleb? We're friends.

Melissa Hastings:
Really? 'Cause I know how you like to shop out of other people's carts

Spencer Hastings:
If you're referring to Hanna, that cart is engaged to someone else. It really doesn't matter because there is nothing going on.

Melissa Hastings:
Maybe you're more comfortable with lying than you think.

Emily Fields:
Honey, why didn't you call me if you were going through something?

Pam Fields:
Mom, you worried if I skipped a meal. How was I supposed to tell you I was skipping school?

[to Emily]

Sara Harvey:
I don't know about the others but I know you feel guilty.

Aria Montgomery:
Don't you read the newspaper or watch the news?

Mona Vanderwall:
No.

Emily Fields:
If lying was a crime, we'd all be in jail.

[after a dinner of Chinese takeout, Aria and Ezra make out on the couch. The phone rings and the answering machine gets it]

Byron Montgomery:
[over the machine] Mr. Fitz, this is Byron Montgomery, Aria's dad.

[Aria and Ezra stop to listen]

Byron Montgomery:
Look, I'm sorry about how our meeting went, and I owe you one for that. I've read your stories and I'd like to talk with you, so maybe we could have a beer. Give me a call, thanks.

[Aria and Ezra pause. Clearly, the romance is gone]

Ezra Fitz:
So, you want an eggroll?

Aria Montgomery:
Sounds good.

[after "walking" Caleb back to the basement, Hanna hears a knock at the door. She answers it and is greeted by an exterminator]

Exterminator:
Are you 'A'?

Hanna Marin:
Excuse me?

Exterminator:
Someone called about an infestation in your basement. Only name they left was 'A'. Is that you?

Hanna Marin:
Uh... no. You've got the wrong house.

[the exterminator nods and leaves. Hanna panics]

Aria Montgomery:
[to Emily] Where are you going?

Emily Fields:
To the restroom. But if you guys don't believe me, we can all try to squeeze into one stall.

Mona Vanderwall:
[to Lucas about Hanna] You can go now. This beauty doesn't need a beast.

Hanna Marin:
Spencer, you do not need to know any more big words. You're already scary enough to anyone under 50.

Emily Fields:
[about Alison] I loved her as more than a friend.

Alison DiLaurentis:
[to Emily] A kiss is a kiss. I like boys. Trust me, if I'm kissing you, it's because it's practice for the real thing.

Hanna Marin:
God, he's freaking me out! Whose locker is he poking into now?

Spencer Hastings:
He's desperate. Ali's brother's breathing down his neck.

Aria Montgomery:
Ours too. What if Jason told the police Alison's version of what happened after the fire?

Spencer Hastings:
If Jason was gonna tell them, he would've told them a year ago. He knows that story's bogus.

Aria Montgomery:
Well, then, why do they bring it up?

Spencer Hastings:
To try to drive a wedge between us. Well, he's not gonna do that.

Aria Montgomery:
Mom, what are you doing here?

Ella Montgomery:
Oh, I tried calling you, but your phone must be turned off for the test.

Aria Montgomery:
Why are you here?

Ella Montgomery:
Well, they called and said they needed proctors. I'm on the sub list.

Aria Montgomery:
You are? Since when?

Ella Montgomery:
Well, since they cut my hours at the gallery and I'm paying rent to live above it. I filled out an application last Monday.

Aria Montgomery:
What, to teach? Why didn't you tell me?

Ella Montgomery:
Well, sweetie, I was going to when you came over for dinner, but then you canceled on Monday... and Tuesday, and then on Wednesday.

Aria Montgomery:
Yeah, this week's been intense.

Ella Montgomery:
I understand. I just, you know, I would like to see you in the flesh. But you don't really plan on ever coming over, do you?

Aria Montgomery:
I can't. Look, if I did, it'd be like saying I'm okay with you and dad living apart.

Ella Montgomery:
But we are.

Aria Montgomery:
I know! Just 'cause you were ready for this doesn't mean that I am. I gotta get back to the library.

Aria Montgomery:
Can't believe it was trashed... Just when you thought that "A" would give it a rest.

Spencer Hastings:
It's like Toby had to kill Alison all over again.

Hanna Marin:
Toby? What do you mean, Toby? His motorcycle was totaled. Isn't he dead?

Spencer Hastings:
I hear more from Alison now than when she was alive.

Hanna Marin:
You guys, I thought we decided "A" wasn't Toby. "A" was happy to have Toby out of the picture.

Aria Montgomery:
How do we know that Toby didn't just send that text? And why are we suddenly trusting "A"? "A" made a fake bracelet to mess with us.

Lucas Gottesman:
This sucks. The first time I get to photograph a real tornado, and they shove us in a room without windows.

Hanna Marin:
You don't want to see a real tornado.

Mona Vanderwall:
[behind Hanna and lucas] Of course he does. He needs to get to Oz so he can ask the Wizard for a penis.

Hanna Marin:
Mona, can I talk to you for a sec?

[Hanna and Mona break off from the group]

Hanna Marin:
Why can't you leave him alone? I mean, what has he ever done to you besides remind you that two short years ago, we were him?

Mona Vanderwall:
He bugs me.

Hanna Marin:
Yeah. Well, I think you're the one who needs a trip to Oz. See if the Wizard can find you a heart.

Spencer Hastings:
Where's Alex?

Melissa Hastings:
He left.

Spencer Hastings:
What do you mean?

Melissa Hastings:
He. Left. Do you need me to tweet it to you?

Paige McCullers:
[in reference to Emily's Barbarella costume] Tell me about love on your planet.

Wren Kingston:
So, you wanna tell me how you did this?

Hanna Marin:
Told you. I was cutting a carrot and the knife slipped.

Wren Kingston:
And it made a gash this big?

Hanna Marin:
It was a big carrot.

Toby Cavanaugh:
[to Spencer] Pretending not to love you was the hardest thing I've ever done.

[Spencer's going to check the register, and Aria's coming with her. Emily and Hanna choose to stay, because they're "cold"]

Spencer Hastings:
[to Aria] You're little, but you're big.

Spencer Hastings:
[to Aria] C'mon, we're Team Sparia.

Please, jenna can’t hear us, she’s blind!