Pretty Ugly People

Lucy:
[voiceover] Now, if you are a fat-ass and you would like to stay friends with a group of very pretty people, several rules apply: #1, always eat in private so your weight will remain a mystery; #2, always dress in workout clothes so that, you know, they'll think you're trying; #3, be sure to keep them laughing because humor is very thinning; and, rule #4 - and this is the most important one - always answer the phone on the first ring because, honestly, the fat friend is replaceable.

Mary:
Ignorant men yield blissful women.

Mary:
Girl, my ass and feet are in love with you right now.

Trevor:
Come on, f***in' around comes from either selfishness or loneliness, and you're far from selfish.

Lucy:
I'd like to raise my glass to all of you. For years you all set the standard for what I dreamed to look like, act like, and be one day. All I ever wanted was to be like one of you, but now I realize that if that dream came true, I could never be happy, because I would be noting but a self-loathing person who's undersexed, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, a dormant slut, and a ghetto-fabulous fat-ass.

Lucy:
Wait, is this some kind of, like, a mercy f***? I mean, is that what this...?

Austin:
Yes, it is, and I am begging you, please have mercy on me.

Mary:
Um, black people haven't been campin' since the underground railroad, and you ain't Harriet Tubman.

Mary:
The word "relax" and this three-day clusterf*** don't really go together.