Promising Young Woman

Ryan:
Dating's horrible, everyone's horrible, okay? I went on a date last month with a woman who wanted to euthanize the homeless.

Cassandra:
You went on date with my mom?

[infiltrating Al Monroe's bachelor party as the sexy nurse]

Cassandra:
I take it you're the groom.

Al Monroe:
Yeah.

[Cassie opens a chair and slams Al into it]

Cassandra:
Then sit the f*** down.

Al Monroe:
[about rape] It's every man's worst nightmare, getting accused of something like that.

Cassandra:
Can you guess what every woman's worst nightmare is?

Jordan:
You know, I got a bonus for every settlement out of court. I got another bonus for every charge dropped. We all did. There was a guy... his only job was to go through all their social media accounts for any compromising information. He contacted old friends, past sexual partners. Oh, you'd be amazed how much easier it is now with the internet to dig up dirt. In the old days we used to go through a girl's trash. Now? One drunk photo at a party. Oh, you wouldn't believe how hostile that makes a jury. [grabs Cassie's hands pleadingly] You gotta help me. I can't sleep. I can't SLEEP. I haven't slept since... I will never forgive myself. I want you to know that. I'll never forgive myself for any of this.

Cassandra:
[crying] I forgive you.

Paul:
[laughing] That was humiliating!

Cassandra:
Why don't you just f*** off, now OK?

Paul:
Wait, are you sober? Oh sh*t! You're that psycho that Jerry took home.

Cassandra:
I don't know what you're talking about.

Paul:
You know what, not interested, sweetheart. Why don't you just take crazy somewhere else? You're not even that hot.

Cassandra:
You're hardly dropping panties yourself, Paul. When was the last time you scored in daylight?

Paul:
[threateningly] Careful.

Cassandra:
[advancing on him] No, you be careful. I'm not the only one who does this. And some of the other girls really are crazy.

Paul:
I don't believe you.

Cassandra:
There's a woman in this city who carries a pair of scissors.

Paul:
You're lying.

Cassandra:
Try it out next time you go out, and see what happens.

Paul:
Why do you guys have to ruin everything?

[runs off crying]

Mrs. Fisher:
I know you feel bad that you weren't there but you gotta let it go.

Cassandra:
I'm just trying to fix it.

Mrs. Fisher:
Oh, come on. You can't. Don't be a child, Cassie.

Cassandra "Cassie" Thomas:
Look how easy that was. I guess you just had to think about it in the right way. I guess it feels different when it's someone you love.

Cassandra "Cassie" Thomas:
Nina was extraordinary. So smart. Weirdly smart. She was so completely herself. Even when she was four years old. She was fully formed from day one. Same face, same walk. And funny. Like a grownup is funny, kind of shrewd. I was just in awe of her. I couldn't believe she wanted to be my friend. She didn't give a f*** what anyone thought apart from me, because she was just... Nina. And then she wasn't. Suddenly she was something else. She was yours. It wasn't her name she heard when she was walking around. It was yours. Your name all around her. All over her, all the the time. And it just... squeezed her out. So when I heard your name again, your filthy f***ing name, I wondered, when was the last time anyone had said hers? Or thought it even, apart from me? And it made me so sad because, Al... [holds up a scalpel] YOU should be the one with her name all over you.

Cassandra "Cassie" Thomas:
[Sarcastically] Who needs brains? They never did a girl any good.

Cassandra "Cassie" Thomas:
Oh, don't cry.

Cassandra "Cassie" Thomas:
[last lines - in a text to Ryan] You didn't think this was the end, did you? It is now. Enjoy the wedding! Love, Cassie & Nina.

Stanley Thomas:
We miss her, Cassie. But god, we've missed you too.

Gail:
And if you two decide to have sex on the counter, the bleach is in the back room. I don't want to walk in here tomorrow morning and see ass prints in the coffee grains. Got it?

Al Monroe:
[while smothering Cassandra] F***ing... stop moving! Stop f***ing moving! Stop f***ing moving! F*** you!

Ryan Cooper:
Do you want to go to dinner, you miserable a**hole?

Madison McPhee:
They all want a feminist in college, because it’s cool to have a girlfriend who cares about something. And statistically, feminists are more likely to do anal. That’s literal fact, by the way.