Rabbit Hood

Little John:
Don't you worry, never fear. Robin Hood will soon be here.

[Little John blew a fanfare on bugle and stood at attention]

Bugs Bunny:
Yeah, Mr. Wise Guy. Now you're gonna get it. Robin Hood'll fix you, brother.

[after a long pause, Little John looks to the distance, shrugs his shoulders in dis-belief and then leaves]

Bugs Bunny:
Eh, where was we?

Sheriff of Nottingham:
It's the rack for you, me long-eared fellow. The King shall indeed be proud of me.

Bugs Bunny:
King? Lo, the King approacheth!

Sheriff of Nottingham:
The King? Where? Where?

Bugs Bunny:
There, there, o'er yon flowered bank!

Sheriff of Nottingham:
[the Sheriff of Nottingham bows his head] Your Majesty.

[after Bugs hit the Sheriff of Nottingham's head with a club numerous times, little kings float around his head]

Sheriff of Nottingham:
Ods fish! The very air abounds in kings.

Sheriff of Nottingham:
[Bugs runs into the King's Royal Rose Gardens] Stop! Stop! You can't go in there! You're not allowed in there! This is the King's private garden! You're standing on royal ground!

Bugs Bunny:
Royal ground? You mean to say that this ground is better than that ground over there?

Sheriff of Nottingham:
Yes, it is!

Bugs Bunny:
Oh, I don't know. Now, you take this piece of ground over here. Now here's a nice piece of property. Level, fruit trees, choice view, improvements already in. Eh, what type of house was you planning?

Sheriff of Nottingham:
Well, I... I sort of had a six-room Tudor in mind.

Bugs Bunny:
Then this is the just the place for you, and it's priced just right. But, uh, first, uh... Are you a veteran?

Sheriff of Nottingham:
No, I'm a...

Bugs Bunny:
Good, then it'll be easy. Here, just sign on the dotted line.

Sheriff of Nottingham:
Well, uh... couldn't I call you later? You see, I...

Bugs Bunny:
Well, I don't know. You see, there was a couple here from Kansas City looking at this place this morning, and they...

Sheriff of Nottingham:
All right! I'll sign! I'll sign! Here!

Bugs Bunny:
You'll never regret it, my friend. This place will double in value inside six months.

[Cut to the Sheriff working on a half-finished house in the Garden when he suddenly realizes what he was deceived]

Sheriff of Nottingham:
Ooh! I hate myself! I do! I do! I do!

[the Sheriff of Nottingham hits himself in the head with his hammer repeatedly, almost contemplating suicide]

[last lines]

Little John:
Don't you worry, never fear, Ro...

Bugs Bunny:
Yeah, I know, Robin Hood will soon be here. He robs from the rich and he gives to the poor. Yo-ho-ho, he goes skipping, tra-la-la, through Sherwood Forest, helping the needy and the oppressed. Ah, you've been saying that through the whole picture! Well, where is he?

Little John:
Oh, you should not talk mean like that, because there he is!

Robin Hood:
[Appears in live-action footage three to five second cameo] Welcome to Sherwood.

Bugs Bunny:
[Bugs stares in astonishment for a moment] Nah, that's silly. It couldn't be him.

Bugs Bunny:
Sheriff of Nottingham, in gratitude for your faithful service, I shall knight thee.

Sheriff of Nottingham:
Your most gracious Majesty.

Bugs Bunny:
In the name of my most royal Majesty, I knight thee.

Bugs Bunny:
[Conks the Sheriff on the head with his scepter] Arise, Sir Loin of Beef.

Bugs Bunny:
[Conks him again] Arise, Earl of Cloves.

Bugs Bunny:
[Conk] Arise, Duke of Brittingham.

Bugs Bunny:
[Conk] Arise, Baron of Munchausen.

Bugs Bunny:
[Conk] Arise, Essence of Myrrh...

Bugs Bunny:
[Conk] Milk of Magnesia...

Bugs Bunny:
[Conk] Quarter of ten.

Sheriff of Nottingham:
[extremely dazed] You are too kind, Your Majesty.

Bugs Bunny:
[Disguised Bugs turns his head aside and speaks to audience] Got lots of stamina!

[1st "knighting of Sheriff of Nottingham", Sir Loin of Beef, was later used as the name of a knight King Arthur's Table, in Bugs Bunny's only award winning short Knighty Knight Bugs]

[Opening lines]

[Bugs Bunny pulls a carrot, that has an alarm bell. He then tries to stop the bells' ringing and the Sheriff of Nottingam arrives to guard the King's garden]

Sheriff of Nottingham:
It's the rack for you, me long-aired knave.