Racing Stripes

Reggie:
Well sub-divide me and Kentucky-Fry me!

Lightning:
If that's a race horse, then I'm D-O double-G, baby.

Goose:
Just when I thought I was out. They pull me back in!

Goose:
All right. Listen up, you glue factory rejects.

Goose:
Oh you're good. You are. You are very good.

Goose:
You see Rusty the rotatin' rooster up there. He's about to get Goosed.

Goose:
You ever try swimming in cement horseshoes.

Goose:
Oh... you're funny, but there's only room for one wise guy on this farm.

Goose:
You wanna dance? You wanna piece of the Goose? Heeya hiya!

Goose:
Jeez! I didn't know the goat was packin'!

Goose:
Now you're talking, baby! Let's do this, barnyard style.

Goose:
Get back here, you chicken! C'mon, I'll fight you with one wing behind my back.

Lightning:
Well, like my momma used to say, you can put your boots in the oven, but that won't make 'em biscuits.

Nolan Walsh:
It's the filly.

Woodzie:
It always is.

Ruffshodd:
Hey Plow Boy! You missed a spot!

I'm the coach, you're the goat. Now, listen to the way it's done.

Tucker:
You know what I used to tell all my racers? "Don't look back, leave it all on the track."

[first lines]

Roustabout:
We gotta jack it up! They gotta get that one unloaded! [to Slim] Slim, get over there! I don't need you working on the tarp! Hey, guys! Get out of the truck! We need a hand out here! Hurry up! Hurry up! Hurry now! The animals are getting spooked!

Ringmaster:
Don't worry about it. Just let it go.

Lion:
RRRRRROOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tightrope Walker:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Roustabout:
No, no! There are five of them!

Ringmaster:
Don't worry about that.

Roustabout:
Don't let the zebras run! Stay with them!

[the happening made Stripes cry]

Nolan Walsh:
[as he picks Stripes up] It's all right. It's all right.

Nolan Walsh:
[to Channing about Stripes] You know, he's probably got all kinds of special needs. We should... We should probably call the zoo and...

Channing Walsh:
No. No zoos. You know, I don't like the idea of animals in cages.

Nolan:
Honey, neither do I, but let's just see what we got here.

Franny:
Question time. What exactly are you?

Reggie:
Good question.

Young Stripes:
I don't know.

Tucker:
Okay, we can rule out genius. [Franny kicks him] Hey!

Franny:
Don't make me chew open a can of pony whup.

Tucker:
Save the sweet talk for later.

[Stripes starts giggling]

Franny:
[to Stripes] Don't pay any attention to him. Listen, he's all whinny and no-bite. I'm Franny, this is Reggie, and Mr. Sensitive here is Tucker.

Tucker:
And that old goat there is an old goat. [the door opens] Uh-oh, it's the Chief.

Franny:
He can be your student, and you can be his cousin.

Tucker:
I swear, Franny! The more any animal can be funny looking, the more you wanna keep him!

Franny:
Keep him? But, Tucker, you used to be nice.

Tucker:
Yeah, but I got over it.

Franny:
Why do you have to be such a horse's [bleating] a-a-a-a-a-ass?

Channing:
[to Stripes] Welcome to your new home, Stripes.

Nolan:
Stripes?

Channing:
Well, "Spot" doesn't work, now, does it?

Reggie:
[crowing] Good morning, Walsh Farm! Well, I know it's not glamorous, but it's a living. Keeps my head on my shoulders, which is more than I can say for my cousins.

(Stripes is running)

Tucker:
Hey, hey, slow down! Boy, oh, boy. Kids these days, no control. Now back in my day-

Franny:
Oh, here we go again with the ancient history lesson again. Enough!

Tucker:
Just say what you mean, Franny. We haven't spoke in Latin, since the pigs left.

Franny:
Well, would you look at him. He loves to run. It's in his heart!

Tucker:
Yeah, but that's not enough.

Franny:
You could train him. Then it would be enough.

Tucker:
Let me tell you something. the legs are too short, the head's too big, he's got as much chance to race as me. Besides, I have got better things to do.

Franny:
Oh, go fix your hair.

Tucker:
I heard that.

Young Ruffshodd:
[to Stripes] Nice Mohawk, dude. [to Trenton's Pride] Uh, what's a Mohawk?

Young Trenton's Pride:
Last one to the fence is a donkey!

[Sir Trenton comes to the boys]

Young Ruffshodd:
Dude, it's your dad!

Young Trenton's Pride:
Great.

Sir Trenton:
Son, stay away from that fence!

Young Trenton's Pride:
Come on, Dad we were just having some fun.

Sir Trenton:
Fun is overrated. If you're going to be champion, I suggest you start acting like one.

Young Ruffshodd:
Oh, your dad scares me, dude.

Young Trenton's Pride:
Not me.

Sir Trenton:
Pride! Ruffshodd!

Young Trenton's Pride:
Coming, Father!

Young Ruffshodd:
Yeah, uh, coming, Mr. Sir Trenton, sir!

Young Stripes:
I don't understand. Why won't he let them play with me?

Tucker:
You're just different. And for some horses, different is scary..

Sandy:
Um, did you ever consider going around that tree instead of running through it?

Stripes:
Yeah, well.... usually it moves out of my way.

Sandy:
[laughs] Uh, I’ve never heard of a tree doing that.

Stripes:
You don’t know the trees around here. Are you new?

Sandy:
I just got here. I’m Sandy.

Stripes:
I’m Stripes.

Sandy:
[sounding amused] You don’t say? Hmm.

Stripes:
Are you a racehorse?

Sandy:
No, I'm-- I'm a jumper. I've actually competed all around the world.

Stripes:
Well, I'm a racehorse. I'm training to be in the big race.

Sandy:
By racing the mailman?

Stripes:
Well, the other horses don't wanna race me. I'm just way too fast for them.

Goose:
Well, would you take a look at that dump? Old MacDonald has never got a farm, but he sure does have a garbage dump. Not a single drop of water in sight. Not an ocean, not even a bird bath. I'm goin' in.

Tucker:
Hey, buddy. You ever try shutting up?

Goose:
You ever try swimmin’ in cement horseshoes? I’ve taken down punks bigger than you.

Tucker:
Yeah? What’d you do, talk ‘em to death?

Goose:
Hey, be careful, pony-boy, or someday somebody's gonna wake up with your head in their bed.

Tucker:
I should've guessed from the size of that pecker you'd be a big-mouth.

Goose:
Watch it, stumpy. I'd cut you off at the knees but it looks like somebody's beaten me to it.

Franny:
All right. Knock it off, you two. Nobody has anything to prove here. Stop it!

Buzz:
[to Scuzz] I have 25 million brothers and sisters, and mom always tells me to look out for you!

Stripes:
[to Buzz and Scuzz] The others made fun of me, since I was born.

Nolan Walsh:
Chan!

Channing Walsh:
I'm okay! Nothing's broken!

Nolan Walsh:
Listen.

Channing Walsh:
It's fine, dad.

Nolan Walsh:
This is what I told you was gonna happen.

Clara Dalrymple:
Your father is right.

Channing Walsh:
He just got spooked! It's not his fault! He needs more training!

Nolan Walsh:
[to Channing Walsh] Chan, go get Stripes. Meet me in the parking lot.

Clara Dalrymple:
[to John Cooper] And what are you going to say about that?

John Cooper:
Mind your own business.

Sir Trenton:
You there, zebra! See what happens when you forget about your own place? The racetrack is not a place for a zebra. And that means you.

Stripes:
What? What did you just call me?

Sir Trenton:
A zebra. Which is exactly what you really are. You didn't think you were a horse, did you?

Stripes:
But, I am a horse. A racehorse!

Sir Trenton:
You're nothing of a kind. You're lunch for a lion, and that's about it. One thing's for sure, kid. You will NEVER be a racehorse.

Stripes:
A zebra? I thought I was a racehorse. Why didn't anyone tell me?

Nolan Walsh:
Well, I just can't believe that you deliberately disobeyed me.

Channing Walsh:
I can't believe you took her side.

Nolan Walsh:
No, I didn't take her side! And don't change the subject!

Channing Walsh:
Mom would've let me ride on him, you know she would--

Nolan Walsh:
You know, don't bring your mother into this conservation! Just don't.

Channing Walsh:
Why not? At least she would've tried to understand! It's more than I can say for you! [gets out of the truck and mounts on Stripes]

Nolan Walsh:
Don't get out of the truck. Channing, get back in the truck. Don't do it.

[Channing took off on Stripes' back]

Scuzz:
Is he always like this?

Tucker:
Worse. Much worse.

Buzz:
[to Stripes] Hey, Stripes! Check this out. [singing] Ebony and ivory.

Scuzz:
[singing] Live together in perfect harmony.

Both:
Side by side on my piano keyboard--

Stripes:
Get off me, you stupid flies! Get off!

Buzz:
Man, "Ebony and Ivory" didn't work. That's a first.

Scuzz:
Told you we should've rapped.

Franny:
[to Stripes] Stripes, you know walking away isn't going gonna solve anything.

Stripes:
Who cares? Leave me alone.

Buzz:
We've gotta get this kid into the race.

Tucker:
Not a chance. The Chief will never go for it.

Franny:
Of course he will. Just like somebody else I know. He just needs a little push.

Tucker:
Reggie?

Reggie:
Yes?

Tucker:
Get off my back.

Lightning:
Well, well, well, look what the [w:Cat cat] drugged in. (Chuckles)

Lightning:
Finally, some peace and quiet. Y'all go ahead. Bye-bye, now. I'll just stay here and watch the palace for shizzle. Woof.

Tucker:
Well, maybe to you. It's like this: [w:Human Human] race, [w:Horse horse] race. There was even a Chicken Run, but there's never been a [w:Goat goat] race. Ever, ever, ever. Get the picture, Franny?

Tucker:
[to Franny] And you, Miss Softy, you just let him go, didn't you? [turns to Goose] [w:Goose Goose], time to earn your keep.

Tucker:
To me, you're just a horse with stripes who needs an attitude adjustment.

Tucker:
Come on, Sandy.

Tucker:
[secretly watching Stripes and Trenton's Pride at the Blue Moon Races shortly before they race] You got guts, kid.

Reggie:
This is Reggie Red [w:Rooster Rooster] with the farm report! In sports news, Goose the [w:Pelican pelican] dropped the motorcycle in the first round, then for good measure, taught the truck a lesson as well.

Reggie:
[About Goose] Gentlemen, don't let the feathers fool ya, this dude's dangerous. He's a killin' machine disguised as an idiot.

Trenton'S Pride:
Well, unfortunately, I don't race nobodies.

Trenton'S Pride:
Come on, Stripey, try and keep up. See you, loser.

Trenton'S Pride:
Hey, Stripey! Did you really think that you could beat a trained professional?

Goose:
[Flying over the Walsh farm] Would ya get a load 'a this dump?! Even old McDonald wouldn't want this farm.

Goose:
[As he is attacking the motorcycle] Okasaka! Slap-a-face-a! Break-a-bones-a! Ha, he, ha, he, he, he, ha, he, ha, ha, ha, he!

Goose:
Let me tell you something. I've made a few clams on the [w:Ponies ponies]. This guy's all hair and no brains.

Goose:
Let me guess: His parole officer's caught up with him. Don't let him take you alive, kid.

Goose:
Look, here's the whole spaghetti sauce. I'm a hit bird. And when Sammy the [w:Gull Gull] needs a lesson taught, the Goose is the guy he calls. Only this last job, I had a little mishap. Instead of hitting Freddie the [w:Flamingo Flamingo] like I was supposed to, I hit Sammy's capo, Johnny [w:Stork Stork]anado. And now Sammy, Freddie, Johnny, they're all after me.

Goose:
Hey, be careful, pony boy, or someday somebody's gonna wake up with your head in their bed.

Goose:
Watch it, stumpy. I'd cut you off at the knees, but it looks like somebody's beat me to it.

Goose:
Okay, adjust for the wind. Nice level flight. Come on, Goose, use the Force.

Goose:
Oh, you're funny. But there's only room for one wise guy on this farm. And by the way, you should know that Goose is a name that strikes fear into anyone on the East Coast.

Goose:
All right, because you look a little slow, I'll skip the salad and get right to the risotto. Let's just say I'm having a little disagreement with my family. We disagree on whether or not they should whack me. Name's Goose.

Goose:
So, that's how we land in the big city. If there's no parking space, you make one. Any of you mugs got a problem with that?

Goose:
Boy, will you get a load of this dump? Even old MacDonald wouldn't want this farm. But it's perfect. Miles from the Jersey shore, not an ocean in sight, not even a birdbath. No one will look for a classy guy like the Goose here. Oh, oh, watch where you're going. That's my knees!

Goose:
Hey, are you a small horse or some sort of an ass? 'Cause you look like an ass to me.

Sir Trenton:
Son. Stay away from that fence.

Sir Trenton:
Fun is overrated. If you're going to be a champion, I suggest you start acting like one.

Sir Trenton:
Well, this is disappointing.

Sir Trenton:
Listen, you. ant you to stop bothering my son. And you can tell Tucker I said that. Trenton's Pride is a champion with a real future. And you, well... you have your place.

Sir Trenton:
You and I will talk later.

Sir Trenton:
Shut up you idiot.

Sir Trenton:
How can they allow this to happen.

Sir Trenton:
You there! See what happens when you forget your place? A racetrack is no place for a zebra.

Sir Trenton:
A zebra! Which is what you are. You didn't really think you were a horse, did you?

Sir Trenton:
You're nothing of the kind. You're lunch for a lion, and that's about it. One thing's for sure, kid. You will never be a racehorse.

Sir Trenton:
They cannot be serious. This will not stand. I will not allow that beast to run in my competition.

Sir Trenton:
Ha. That's not a risk I'm willing to take.

Sir Trenton:
You'll never beat a Trenton.

Sir Trenton:
Well, well, well. What have we here? Beauty and the Beast.

Sir Trenton:
I'm afraid there's been a change of plans, zebra. You're about to get scratched from tomorrow's race card.

Sir Trenton:
Pretty picture, huh, boys?

Sir Trenton:
Oh, don't fret about her. As long as you don't race tomorrow, I wouldn't dream of harming her. You, on the other hand, need to be taught a lesson. 'SHOW HIM!'.

Sir Trenton:
Listen, boy. I won this race, my daddy won it. His daddy won it. All the way back to General Trenton, who won the first Kentucky Open a hundred years ago. You get my point?

Sir Trenton:
Well, well, well. What have we here? [chuckles] Beauty and the beast.

Sir Trenton:
You will never beat a Trenton.

Clara Dalrymple:
What is that dreadful child up to now?

Clara Dalrymple:
[to Channing] This is a racetrack, dear, not the Serengeti.

Nolan Walsh:
Now you give it all you got.

Nolan Walsh:
[to Channing after Stripes won] Your mother would be so proud...and so am I.

Sandy:
Hey, hotshot! Running into more trees lately?

Stripes:
Oh, great! More jokes!

Sandy:
Because I don't care that you're not a racehorse. You love to run, and that's all that matters.

Stripes:
Maybe to you. But it's not your problem, Sandy.

Sandy:
You know, if you wanna see the real problem, try looking down!

(Sandy turns from the pond and canters away, visibly upset)

Stripes:
Fine. [looks at his reflection in a lake]

Franny:
Take it easy on him.

Reggie:
Well, subdivide me and Kentucky fry me!

Reggie:
Doesn't anybody have a clock?!

Reggie:
If you build it, they will come.

Trenton'S Pride:
You always have something in your teeth, Ruffshodd.

Trenton'S Pride:
I'll do my best, Dad.

Trenton'S Pride:
[to Stripes] My father was wrong about you. You're a great racer.

Goose:
Hey, moron! Up here!

Scuzz:
Oh, come on, man. That song's already ruined. You need some good tunes like this. [Imitates guitar and sings] Can't touch this./Music hits me so hard/Makes me say "Oh, my Lord./Thank you for giving me with a mind to rhyme and a do-da-dee..."

Scuzz:
Hey, we made it, man. Nice. I'm sure that beats flying.

Scuzz:
It's the filly. It always is. Hey! Hey, she's from Philly. I didn't know she was from Philly. Oh, man, I love those Philly cheese steaks. Or any kind of cheese, really. Or, actually, any kind of food from anywhere... especially candy and poop. What were we talking about?

Ruffshodd:
Hey, plow-boy! You missed a spot.