Rainmaker

Rudy Baylor:
Objection. Your honor, he's leading the witness.

Judge Kipler:
This is cross examination, leading is allowed. Overruled, as to leading.

Rudy Baylor:
Sworn in by a fool and vouched for by a scoundrel. I'm a lawyer at last.

Miss Birdie:
This is that good process turkey.

Rudy Baylor:
I knew exactly what was going on here. Just like when Daddy was in the bedroom crying and Mommy was sitting in the kitchen, face all bloody, saying that Daddy was sorry.

Rudy Baylor:
My dad hated lawyers. You might think I became one just to piss him off, but you'd be wrong. Did piss him off so much though that when he heard he fell off a ladder and didn't know who to sue first.

Rudy Baylor:
What's the difference between a lawyer and a hooker? A hooker'll stop screwing you when you're dead.

Rudy Baylor:
How do you know when a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.

Deck Shiffler:
You know what a Rainmaker is, kid? The bucks are gonna be falling from the sky.

Judge Kipler:
Are you in over your head, son?

Rudy Baylor:
Absolutely!

Rudy Baylor:
There's gotta be a hundred years of law experience sitting at this very table. My staff has flunked the bar exam six times.

J. Lyman 'Bruiser' Stone:
Congratulations on... what the hell is that?

Deck Shiffler:
Iced tea.

Rudy Baylor:
I'm just another lawyer. Just another shark in the dirty water.