Recess

Spinelli:
It's not martial arts, it's survive. It was invented by the French.

Gelman:
And if you ever tell a teacher on me again, I'll hit you so hard your clothes'll hurt!

Upside-Down Girl:
[after Digger Dave has given her advice on how to hang] Do something about him, Detweiller. If I have to come down from here, nobody's going to be happy.

Theodore J. 'T.J.' Detweiler:
Never kid a kid who hasn't had his recess.

Theodore J. 'T.J.' Detweiler:
[receiving test scores] F? That's terrible!

Gus:
F! I'm so disappointed in myself!

Gretchen:
A-? My life is flashing before my eyes!

King Bob:
So shall it be written, so shall it be done!

[repeated line]

Theodore J. 'T.J.' Detweiler:
Tender

[repeated line]

Ashley 'Ashley B' Boulet:
Scccaandaaloussss

Miss Alordayne Grotkey:
Ok, so everyone who didn't do their homework last night will be challenged to a double load. [the class groans] And anyone who did their homework can have the night off.

Gretchen:
YES! WOOHOO! [realizes she's the only one cheering] Umm, I mean... Boo, the unfairness?

Miss Muriel P Finster:
I'd call you a pack of wild animals, but even wild animals don't throw food. Except for monkeys. But you're not monkeys, are you? No, you're children, children who act like monkeys.

Theodore J. 'T.J.' Detweiler:
Mikey, what are you doing?

Mikey:
Communing with people who appreciate my innate spiritual gifts.

Theodore J. 'T.J.' Detweiler:
I appreciate your insane spiritual gifts, Mikey.

Gretchen:
But... but you were supposed to study the homework and learn from it!

Spinelli:
Gretchen, what colour's the sky on your planet?

Gretchen:
You skipped studying for professional wrestling?

Spinelli:
Doesn't everybody?

[repeated line]

Theodore J. 'T.J.' Detweiler:
This womps.

Hector:
Eventually I stopped calling him Safety Man and started calling him just Gus, but to me, he'll always be... El Diablo!

T.J.:
We're all Ashley's too.

Ashley Armbruster:
But, you aren't even girls!

Gus:
Hey, it's the nineties.

King Bob:
Servants, to the playground. I wish to take in a game of Duck,Duck,Goose

Gretchen:
Oh, well. Maybe if I eat right and take lots of exercise I'll live to see the next total eclipse. In a hundred and twenty two years.

Gus:
Ashley A and Gretchen are walking to school together!

Vincent Pierre 'Vince' LaSalle:
How many times do we have to tell you, Gus, eating paste is bad for you!

Coach Kluge:
You went and done it, didn't you, LaSalle? You went and became a... vegetarian!

Theodore J. 'T.J.' Detweiler:
I don't have one best friend... I have five!

Butch:
The future is girls... and we're all going to like it!

Spinelli:
Boys kissing girls? Girls kissing boys?

Gretchen:
Surely, there must be some mistake. I mean, this defies the rules of nature and physics. Besides that, it's disgusting!"

T.J.:
But Butch says it's the future. His brother Joey told him.

Spinelli:
Oh, please! The day I stop caring about dodgeball is the day the Earth starts spinning around the sun.

Gretchen:
Which explains the D minus you got in Science.

T.J.:
You realize we may have to get married after this.

Spinelli:
You realize I may have to kill you after this.

Spinelli:
Last one on Old Rusty has to give Miss Finster a sponge bath!

Randall Weems:
Hey! That's my job!

TJ:
Old Rusty was here when my big brother was in school.

Spinelli:
Old Rusty was here when my mom was in school.

Mikey:
Heck, Old Rusty was here when my Great Uncle Mary was in school.

Vince:
Your Uncle Mary?

Gretchen:
Don't ask.

Mikey:
[after Gus kicks a brand new ball over the fence] Can I borrow a pencil, Gus? I *LOST* mine.

Billy:
Hey, maybe Gus kicked IT over the fence, too.

All of kids on playground:
[in unison after finding out that Vince is playing golf with Principal Prickley] Vince and Prickley, standing on the green/P-U-T-T-I-N-G/First comes par, then comes bogie, then comes Vince dressed like an old fogey!

Supt. Skinner:
The board of education has no control over what goes on in people's minds, hard as we may try.

[about Ms. Finster]

Mikey:
She looks so happy like that...

Spinelli:
Yeah... let's go destroy her life.