Renaissance Man

Bill Rago:
He wrote plays. Plays...? You know, like TV without the box.

Private Miranda Myers:
I'd rather be a Double D than a swinger from the ugly tree, ya fat pig.

Bill Rago:
GO NAVY.

Bill Rago:
Hi. I'm Bill Rago. I've never taught before and you've never thought before. So good luck to all of us.

Pvt. Jamaal Montgomery:
You can't say that. That is a diss. I ain't no ox moron.

Bill Rago:
No, no, no not ox moron, schmuck; oxymoron.

Bill Rago:
All I know is, the choices you make dictate the life you lead. "To thine own self be true."

Private Miranda Myers:
Give him time, give him time. He's a white boy.

Melvin:
I ain't never gonna hit my kids.

Bill Rago:
Melvin, read the rest of it when you come out of the coma.

Pvt. Jamaal Mongomerey:
Bill, are you gonna translate this?

Bill Rago:
Why? It's in English.

Pvt. Tommy Lee Haywood:
There's these woods behind our trailer park. This old guy lives in the woods there. Everybody in town swore he was crazy. He showed me how to hunt, and how to be real quiet, and how to listen. He said he had seen everythin' in the world he wanted to see, and he ain't never wanted to leave those woods. Well, me and my daddy got laid off at the paper mill, and whilst I spent about five months watchin' TV with my brothers, I kept thinkin' of what the old man said. Finally, I decided that I did want to see more of the world, and what was behind that trailer park. And that's why I joined up.

Private Miranda Myers:
I liked livin' with my aunt, Mavis, in Chicago the best. But last summer, my mother, Ruthie, came back and we drove to Atlanta. She said, "We don't have to stay long," but then she met a man, and they take off. I waited around for a while, waitin' for her to come back, but everybody keep sayin', "Just go on home." I don't know where that is. So I take the bus to Cleaveland and spend two days starin' at the poster behind the driver sayin', "Be all you can be." So I think about that for a week, and think I gotta be somewhere, so here I am.

Pvt. Jamaal Mongomerey:
In my crib, there ain't never been a time where we eat, sleep, or nothin'. Y'know, everybody just run around crazy. Half the time, I don't even know who were are. I must be the only person in the world who joined the army so he'd know what time he'd eat.

Pvt. Roosevelt Nathaniel Hobbs:
I wanted to learn a new trade.

Bill Rago:
Write... why you're here.

Bill Rago:
No, no. Write about the magical twist of fate that prompted you to gravitate towards this institute of imbeciles.

Bill Rago:
Write why you joined the Army!

Bill Rago:
Double D?