Revenge of the Sock

Date:
[Re: The Sock's proposal of marriage] I really think this is a bit early in the relationship.

The Sock:
Look. I'm willing. You're not getting any younger. It's like kismet.

The Sock:
Come on, my dear. Give an old sock a kiss.

Manager:
Why do you want to work here?

The Sock:
My personal wealth is insufficient to meet my current needs.

Manager:
Right, but why do you want to work HERE?

The Sock:
There was a sign out front that said you were hiring.

Manager:
That's it?

The Sock:
Are your prejudiced against the indifferent employee?

Manager:
We like to think our employees like to work here.

The Sock:
Then you live in a delusion, sir.

Christine:
Let us go!

The Sock:
No! Must stick to the plan!

Christine:
Your plan is failing miserably!

The Sock:
Correction! It is failing gloriously!

Damien:
[Looking at computer] Hey, what's this? E-Hookup dot com?

The Sock:
I plan to exploit the archaic institution of marriage to increase my financial status. I believe the common term is "gold digging."

Damien:
[Reading] "Single white sock seeks wealthy female. Poor health a plus."

The Sock:
I envision a church wedding.

The Sock:
Thanks to this economic purgatory, I'm sleeping in a shoebox in some simpleton's apartment.

Snooty Woman:
Do you pay rent?

The Sock:
I don't kill him.