Right Stuff

Narrator:
There was a demon that lived in the air. They said whoever challenged him would die. Their controls would freeze up, their planes would buffet wildly, and they would disintegrate. The demon lived at Mach 1 on the meter, seven hundred and fifty miles an hour, where the air could no longer move out of the way. He lived behind a barrier through which they said no man could ever pass. They called it the sound barrier.

Jack Ridley:
How bad did you ding 'em?

Chuck Yeager:
Well, you might say as I broke a couple of the sons-o'-b*tches.

Chuck Yeager:
Hey, Ridley, you got any Beeman's?

Jack Ridley:
Yeah, I think I got me a stick.

Chuck Yeager:
Loan me some, will you? I'll pay you back later.

Jack Ridley:
Fair enough.

Gordon Cooper:
You know what makes this bird go up? FUNDING makes this bird go up.

Gus Grissom:
He's right. No bucks, no Buck Rogers.

Chuck Yeager:
Hey, Ridley, make another note here, would ya? Must be something wrong with this ol' Mach meter. Jumped plumb off the scale. Gone kinda screwy on me.

Jack Ridley:
You go ahead and bust it, we'll fix it. Personally, I think you're seein' things.

Chuck Yeager:
Yeah, could be. But I'm still goin' upstairs like a bat outta hell.

Chuck Yeager:
I'm a fearless man, but I'm scared to death of you.

Glennis Yeager:
Oh no you're not. But you oughta be.

Alan Shepard:
Dear Lord, please don't let me f*** up.

Gordon Cooper:
I didn't quite copy that. Say again, please.

Alan Shepard:
I said everything's A-OK.

Pancho Barnes:
What are you two rookies gonna have?

Gordon Cooper:
Rookies? Now hold on, sis. You are looking at a whole new ballgame here now. In fact, in a couple of years, I bet you're even gonna immortalize us by putting our pictures up there on your wall.

Gordon Cooper:
What? I say somethin' wrong here?

Pancho Barnes:
I tell you, we got two categories of pilots around here. We got your prime pilots that get all the hot planes, and we got your pud-knockers who dream about getting the hot planes. Now what are you two pud-knockers gonna have? Huh?

Grand Designer:
We could launch a pod.

Lyndon Johnson:
A pot?

Grand Designer:
A POD - a, uh, capsule. Now, we would be in full control of zis pod. It vill go up like a cannonball, and come down like, uh, a cannonball, splashing down into ze water, the ocean, vith a parachute to spare the life of the specimen inside.

Lyndon Johnson:
Spaceman?

Grand Designer:
SPE-CI-MEN.

Lyndon Johnson:
Well, what kind of spe-ci-men?

Grand Designer:
A tough one. Responsive to orders. I had in mind a jimp.

Lyndon Johnson:
JIMP? Well what the HELL is a jimp?

Grand Designer:
A jimp. A-a-a jimpanzee, Senator. An ape.

Game Show MC:
Major, Eddie here has a little problem with his girlfriend. Did you ever have a problem like that when you were 10?

John Glenn:
Yes, I did, Bob. I liked a girl in my class, but all the other guys liked her too and she didn't pay any attention. But, I kept after her, Eddie.

Game Show MC:
Did you finally get her to notice you?

John Glenn:
Yes, I did. In fact, I finally got her to marry me.

Gus Grissom:
I did NOT do anything wrong. The hatch just BLEW. It was a GLITCH. It was a- a TECHNICAL MALFUNCTION. Why in hell won't anyone believe me?

John Glenn:
Annie, listen to me, OK? You listening? If you don't want the Vice President or the TV networks or anybody else to come into the house, then that's it, as far as I'm concerned. They are NOT coming in, and I will back you all the way, a hundred percent on this. And you tell them that, OK? I don't want Johnson or any of the rest of them to set as much as one TOE inside our house.

Annie Glenn:
OK.

John Glenn:
You tell them that- that Astronaut John Glenn told you to say that.

Alan Shepard:
Request permission to relieve bladder.

Gordon Cooper:
Who was the best pilot I ever saw? Well, uh, you're lookin' at 'im.

Grand Designer:
Our Germans are better than their Germans.

Gonzalez:
You know, Mr. Shepard, me and my friends think your Jose Jimenez imitation is A-OK. But what you're doing with it is B-A-D.

Narrator:
But on that glorious day in May 1963, Gordo Cooper went higher, farther, and faster than any other American - 22 complete orbits around the world; he was the last American ever to go into space alone. And for a brief moment, Gordo Cooper became the greatest pilot anyone had ever seen.

Gus Grissom:
The issue here is not p*ssy. The issue here is monkey.

Pancho Barnes:
Well Yeager, you old bastard. Don't just stand there in the doorway like some lonesome goddamn mouse sh*t sheepherder, get your ass over here and have a drink.

Gordon Cooper:
Yeah, but uh, nurse, how am I supposed to uh...

Nurse Murch:
The best results seem to be obtained through fantasization, accompanied by masturbation, followed by ejaculation.

Gordon Cooper:
Well, that sounds easy enough.

Liaison Man:
You mean you don't want our best pilots?

Chuck Yeager:
Spam in a can.

Chuck Yeager:
Monkeys? You think a money knows he's sittin' on top of a rocket that might explode? These astronaut boys they know that, see? Well, I'll tell you something, it takes a special kind of man to volunteer for a suicide mission, especially one that's on TV. Ol' Gus, he did alright.

Gus Grissom:
F***in' A, bubba.

Glennis Yeager:
They don't spend a god-damned thing teaching you how to be the fearless wife of a fearless test pilot.

Recruiter:
Commander, we are looking for US pilots who are willing to become astronauts.

Alan Shepard:
Astronauts? You mean, sit on top of a rocket and launched into space? Sounds dangerous; when do we go?

Gordon Cooper:
You know, gus. I'm sitting here, people wanting to talk to me, I got a free house, free furniture, free lunch from one end of the country to the other and I ain't even been up there yet.

Gus Grissom:
Yeah, I noticed that.

Gordon Cooper:
Oh, you noticed that, did you?

Gus Grissom:
Well, Hot Dog, when they do send you up; be sure *you* don't screw the pooch.

Jack Ridley (when referring to the chimpanzee that would be going up before any of the astronauts did):

“Does he look like the kind of fella that’d put doo-doo in the space capsule..”

It was more a statement than a question. Ridley was joking around with Yeager and they were both grinning from ear to ear.

I’m not sure that this is the exact quote, but I laugh at that scene every time I watch the movie.

"Funding. That's what makes your ships go up. I'll tell you something, and you guys too:
No bucks, no Buck Rodgers."