Rumor Has It...

Annie:
I'm the most screwed-up person in the world!

Sarah:
You're not even the most screwed-up person in this room!

Sarah:
I didn't come here to tell you that I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to.

Katharine:
[in the bathroom, after the door hits him Jeff in the face] Jeff...

Jeff:
Yeah?

Katharine:
Go play with your dick.

Jeff:
[to Sarah in the elevator, after she has apologized] If we have a daughter, Beau Burroughs doesn't come within a thousend miles of her.

Sarah:
It stops with me!

Sarah:
...and you drive *so* slow...

Earl:
I only drive slow, sweetheart, because you're in the car

Beau Burroughs:
Life has to be a little nuts sometimes. Otherwise it's just a bunch of Thursdays strung together.

Sarah:
Maybe every girl in my family have to sleep with you.

Beau Burroughs:
I don't know if they have to, but they certainly have.

Katherine:
Come on in, I'll put on a pot of Bourbon.

Katherine:
[after revealing a secret to Sarah] You know, I really shouldn't drink this without a mixer.

Katherine:
[about Beau] He's a horny old bastard!

Katherine:
[everyone is breaking down and crying] Am I the only sane one here?

Katherine:
[meeting Jeff] You don't look like a lawyer...

Jeff:
You don't look like a Grandma.

Katherine:
You ARE a lawyer! Full of sh*t.

Aunt Mitzi:
All women become like their mothers; that is their tragedy. No man does; that's his.

Katharine:
Life is short, but marriage is long... so drink up, and it will make it go a hell of a lot faster.

Aunt Mitzi:
[singing] Bloody Mary is the girl I love, bum bum bum, bloody Mary is the girl I love

Jeff:
You know, I never told you this, but they based a movie on my family. Seriously. Titanic. They changed it a little. There's not boat, nothing sank. But I did pose naked for a portrait once.

Sarah:
This isn't The Graduate, this is Deliverance!

Sarah:
If you're gonna marry someone you might as well marry your best friend.

Jeff:
So you're gonna just walk up to him and ask him point-blank?

Sarah:
Well, I guess I could walk in and yell "Hey, Dad", and see if he turns around.

Sarah:
I'm not afraid of flying. I love flying. It's crashing I hate. Hate crashing.

Sarah:
I said knock three times!

Jeff:
Do you want me to go back out and do it again?

Earl:
There's an old saying: "Nobody comes from Los Angeles. Everybody comes to Los Angeles." But if you do come from Los Angeles, then chances are you come from Pasadena.

Annie:
Scared? Of What? If I was scared, why would I be getting married?

Sarah:
My sister... she bounces.

Sarah:
Am I over-thinking this?

Jeff:
You're not under-thinking it.

Blake Burroughs:
Wanna have sex?

Sarah:
Excuse me?

Blake Burroughs:
No... I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I just, I was looking for my father, this is supposed to be his table but I don't see him anywhere. So, if he comes by, tell him Blake was here for me, would ya?

Sarah:
Who is your dad?

Blake Burroughs:
Beau Burroughs.