RuPaul's Drag Race

Himself - Host:
[when greeting the contestants] Hello, hello, hello!

Himself - Host:
[to Bebe Zahara Benet during the mini challenge] Representing the house of Camerooooon!

Himself - Host:
Paint your face, honey!

Himself - Host:
Don't forget, the judges will be looking for your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

Himself - Host:
Gentlemen, start your engines and may the best woman win!

Charo:
Be careful! Spooning leads to forking.

Charo:
Chin is up. Stomach is in. Even if you don't breathe, never mind. If you drop dead, you drop dead with class.

Himself - Host:
Now make me proud, and remember, don't f*** it up.

Himself - Contestant:
My favorite part of doing drag is the transformation.

Himself - Host:
[to the bottom two contestants] This is your last chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination. The time has come for you to lip sync for your life. Don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
[to the winner of the lip sync] Shantay, you stay.

Himself - Host:
[to the eliminated contestant] Now, sashay away.

Himself - Host:
[after the elimination] So remember: if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else. Can I get an amen?

Himself - Host:
Work the floor!

Himself - Host:
I want to be gagging on the extravaganza and eleganza of evening wear!

Himself - Host:
Nina is Miss Mango!

Himself - Host:
Let the music play!

Kurtis Dam-Mikkelsen:
I'm Miss Fame. I'm 29-years-old and I'm beyond this planet beautiful. My brand is classic, chic, fashion model. I'm ready to show everybody what I'm meant to do. Which is leave a beauty mark on the face of the planet.

Joshua Eads-Brown:
My name is Ginger Minj and I am a overweight, asthmatic, chain smoking cross dresser from Orlando, Florida. I like to describe myself as a glamor toad. I know that I will never be the prettiest one but I will ALWAYS be the beautiful one.

Christopher Williams:
My name is Jaidynn Diore Fierce. Capital F-I-E-R-C-E because, I am what? Fierce! She's gonna serve you body. She's gonna serve you everything you need to survive. I'm always gonna give you life. [laughs]

Jason Dardo:
I'm Violet Chachki. I'm 22-year-old and I'm a one of a kind collectible. My biggest strength is probably aesthetics. I'm very visually appealing. Is that conceited?

Max Malanaphy:
My name is Max and I'm a starlet on the rise. I do drag because I have a yearning for old Hollywood glamor.

Katya:
My name is Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova but you can call my Katya... and I'm just your average run-of-the-mill Russian bisexual transvestite hooker. Katya is at the intersection of glamor and comedy. You can find her right on the corner, selling her ass.

Martell Robinson:
I'm Jasmine Masters and I'm 37-years-old! Ding! Jasmine is class and elegance. Jasmine is [snaps fingers] it!

Edward Popil:
My name is Mrs. Kasha Davis and I'm an international celebrity housewife because of that one time I performed in Canada.

Brian Firkus:
My name is Trixie Mattel and I'm 24-years-old. I think a lot of the queens don't necessarily get where I'm coming from. Drag queens always say paint for the back row. I paint for the check cashing place down the street.

Frank Diaz:
I'm Kandy Ho' and I'm 28-years-old. Kandy is hot, Kandy is candente but if you touch her too close, you might get burned.

Matt James:
I'm Pearl. I'm 23-years-old. I would describe Pearl as some kind of robotic, Stepford wife, b*tch.

Reuben Asberry Jr.:
I'm Kennedy Davenport and I AM the dancing diva of Texas, honey. I spin, I kick, I flip, I jump off the stage in six inch heels. That's what puts the diva in it. [laughs]

Jared Breakenridge:
I'm Sasha Belle. I'm 28-years-old and I have been mentally preparing myself for this for years. I can tell you every episode, what the challenge was, who went home. I feel like I've cracked the code. I'm the next drag superstar because I've done my homework.

Patrick Holt:
I'm Tempest Dujour and I'm 46-years-old. My drag style is influenced by Phyllis Diller and the campy and the kitschy people of the world.

Martell Robinson:
No T, no shade, no pink lemonade.

Himself - Host:
Good luck and remember, don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
[during Kennedy Davenport's main stage runway] La Guardia... Newark... Kennedy.

Himself - Host:
[referring to Pearl's main stage runway walk] It's like a runway on Ambien.

Herself - Judge:
[speaking to Kandy Ho' on the main stage] It looks like you literally contoured on a beard. [pause] No.

Herself - Judge:
[referring to Kandy Ho'] Girl, are you painting on a beard?

Herself - Guest Judge:
Kandy Ho,' Kandy who?

Himself - Host:
Silence! I've made my decision. Bring back my girls.

Himself - Host:
I'm sorry, my dear, but you're up for elimination.

Himself - Host:
[to the bottom two contestants] Two queens stand before me. Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination. The time has come for you to lip sync for your life. Good luck and don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
Now remember: if you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love someone else? Can I get an amen up in here?

Himself - Host:
Now let the music play!

Himself - Host:
She done already done has herses!

Himself - Contestant:
Keep it foxy! [lifts breast twice with hand] Wah wah!

Himself - Contestant:
Mother has arrived!

Himself - Contestant:
Not today, Satan! Not today!

Himself - Contestant:
Need help packing? Beat it, queen.

Himself - Host:
Now remember, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get a chocolate bar up in here?

Herself - Guest Judge:
[when greeting the contestants] Hello, hello, hello!

Himself - Contestant:
[to the pad on the floor that he was just punching] And don't talk back to my face, b*tch!

Himself - Contestant:
[discussing the mini challenge] I was sweating like some kind of pig in heat.

Himself - Host:
Now make me proud, ladies, and remember, don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
[to contestants not up for elimination] Congratulations, you're still in the race.

Himself - Host:
[to the bottom two contestants] This is your last chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination. The time has come for you to lip sync for your life. Good luck and don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
[to the eliminated contestant] Though this breaks my heart to say, sashay away.

Himself - Host:
[after the elimination] And remember: if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else. Can I get an amen in here?

RuPaul:
Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win.

Himself - Contestant:
[Shannel] My name is Bryan. I'm 29-years-old and I've had a show in a nightclub in Las Vegas for about 6 years now. My persona is has always tried to be a little more on the realistic side but wearing costuming that is super couture. People call me the Barbra Streisand of drag because, I've heard, she's a real b*tch and she's anal retentive about everything. That's kind of, I guess you can say, how I am.

Himself - Contestant:
I am Jorge Flowers aka Nina Flowers. I don't consider myself as a female impersonator. I like to be more androgynous. It's an extravaganza.

Himself - Contestant:
[Rebecca Glasscock] I'm Javier. I'm 26-years-old. I'm just a small town girl from sunny Florida with a big dream of becoming the next drag superstar.

Himself - Contestant:
I'm Victor. My stage name is Victoria "Pork Chop" Parker. Victoria is very different from Victor. Victoria's very outgoing, she's very flirtatious, she likes to meet men, and she likes to entertain, and I can do things as Victoria that I could never get away with as Victor. Oh, I've been doing this 21 years. [laughs] It's a definite advantage.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Eric. I'm 24-years-old. My name's Akashia when I'm in drag. My drag persona would be crazy rambunctious. If I was a girl, I would be a stripper or a slut and pregnant with a whole bunch of children. When I saw Shannel, I was like oh, another skank with her butt hanging out, I thought I was gonna be the only one that had my butt hanging out. Hers is a little flabby, it jiggles. Mine is solid muscle so it doesn't, like, move at all. So I mean, it just depends on what you're into.

Himself - Contestant:
Hi, my name is Tammie Brown with an I-E. My real name is Keith. If I'm in drag or out of drag, I'm an entertainer. I am the character.

Himself - Contestant:
My name's David. I'm 24-years-old. Jade is definitely my alter ego. Basically she has more balls than I do. Not only am I gonna be able to show myself as Jade but I'm also gonna be able to showcase my talents as a dancer, as a performer, as everything all in one.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Nea Marshall Kudi. I'm from West Africa precisely Cameroon. I'm also know as Bebe Zahara Benet. I walked into the room, my first impression was I thought all the girls were really stunning but I bring a lot of international influence and I feel like, right now, I'm really ahead of the game.

RuPaul:
[when greeting the contestants] Hello, hello, hello!

RuPaul:
[to Bebe Zahara Benet] Camerooooon!

RuPaul:
Charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

RuPaul:
[to contestants not up for elimination] You're still in the race.

Herself - Judge:
[referring to Rebecca Glasscock] Her nose is as real as her name.

RuPaul:
[to the bottom two contestants] This is your last chance to impress me and to save yourself from elimination. The time has come for you to lip sync for your life.

RuPaul:
Good luck and don't f*** it up.

RuPaul:
[to the winner of the lip sync] Shantay, you stay.

RuPaul:
[to the eliminated contestant] Now sashay away.

RuPaul:
[after the elimination] Ladies, congratulations and remember: if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love anyone else. Can I get an amen in here?

Himself - Contestant:
I'm Ryan also known as Ongina. My middle name's Ong and God didn't bless me with a certain 'ina and I'm really excited to meet everyone else so that I can scope out the competition so that I know who I would be saying goodbye to on a weekly basis.

RuPaul:
Let the music play.

Himself - Contestant:
[in audition tape] My god, you're so cute. Would you like to come upstairs for a cocktail?

Himself - Contestant:
[after chowing down on a hot dog] Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Still a size zero, b*tch.

Herself - Judge:
[referring to Ongina's headpiece] What I really love, that she was giving us head, if you will.

Himself - Host:
[after going over the top ten most unforgettable fashion moments] Guys, thank you for that catwalk down memory lane.

Himself - Contestant:
So you don't do any contour around your...?

Himself - Contestant:
I do lots of contour.

Himself - Contestant:
I've never seen you like use it around like...

Himself - Contestant:
I have it on there. You just don't notice it. I make it look natural like a real woman.

Himself - Contestant:
Well, are you trying to say mine doesn't look like a real woman?

Himself - Contestant:
Yours looks a little forced.

Himself - Host:
The judges will be looking for your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

Himself - Host:
The time has come for you to lip sync for your life.

Himself - Host:
And remember: don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
And remember: if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else. Can I get an amen up in here?

Himself - Contestant:
[in audition tape] A lot of people misconsume that if you do drag, you wanna be a woman.

Himself - Host:
I have two words for you: extravaganza eleganza!

Himself - Host:
Camerooooon!

Himself - Host:
Charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

Himself - Host:
Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best woman win.

Himself - Host:
[to contestants not up for elimination] You're still in the race.

Himself - Host:
[to the bottom two contestants] Now this is your last chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination. The time has come to lip sync for your life... and don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
Miss Tammie Brown's in town!

Himself - Host:
[to the eliminated contestant] Now sashay away.

Himself - Host:
[after the elimination] And remember: if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else. Can I get an amen up in here?

Himself - Host:
Miss Tammie Brown is makin' a gown!

Himself - Special Guest:
[after being introduced by RuPaul] I feel kinda short and homeless standing next to you.

Himself - Contestant:
[referring to Violet Chachki's brashness] All right, public school, calm down.

Himself - Contestant:
This is right on my alley.

Himself - Contestant:
[when RuPaul asks about the team he has chosen] Well, I wanted to go for a team that was not only very talented but also very diverse. I mean, if you look at the other team, they look like Aryan Airlines.

Himself - Host:
I expect your charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent to be on fire!

Himself - Host:
Don't f*** it up!

Himself - Judge:
I love the ming. Put a little ginger on that, I could eat it all day.

Himself - Host:
I'm sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.

Himself - Host:
[after the elimination] Remember: if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else. Now spread your wings and fly tonight!

Himself - Host:
Rose Quartz? I think I went to Hebrew school with her.

Himself - Contestant:
I'm Nicole Paige Brooks from Atlanta, Georgia. I am, what I call, a Southern belle or a very Atlanta girl. I'm a cancer or something, just big momma.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is David. In drag, when I've got on tits and tights, I go by Raven. I like to be that mysterious, dark, ice queen and, like, I think I have the look that people might be a little intimidated by.

Himself - Contestant:
I'm Sahara Davenport. I'm 25-years-old and I live in New York City!

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Morgan McMichaels and I am 28-years-old. People think that since I'm pretty and I'm sexy that I should just do slutty all the time.

Himself - Contestant:
I am Mystique Summers. I am 25-years-old. Big girls are gonna represent this year. Wow, some of these girls, they're pretty cute. F*** the skinny b*tches. It's a big girls' world.

Himself - Contestant:
My drag persona name is Jessica Wild. I'm from San Juan, Puerto Rico. My biggest fears in the competition is with my English but if I don't understand something I am going to smile.

Himself - Contestant:
My drag name is Sonique. I now live in Atlanta, Georgia. My mom sent me to a military school in hopes that she would get a little soldier. Needless to say, she got a drag queen.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Tatianna. I am 21-years-old. First time I walked out of the house in drag I was 14-years-old. I don't know how I got the balls to do it but I went to school in drag. It was my closest taste to being like, famous.

Himself - Contestant:
I'm Pandora Boxx and I'm thirty-whoop years old. Pandora is definitely a melting pot of people. You know, there's like a dash of Madonna, a sprinkle of Goldie Hawn, and a big chunk of Kathy Griffin thrown in there to just, kind of, like, use it all together into this melted pot of goo that becomes Pandora.

Himself - Contestant:
Hey, fake ladies!

Himself - Contestant:
I am Tyra Sanchez and I'm 21. I do think that I'm the prettiest one. I came in, I had my Rihanna hair on, my body was right, breasts were right, makeup was right, everything was on point. I was very much a lady.

Himself - Host:
Ooo, girl, you've got she-mail!

Himself - Host:
All of you are here because you have charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

Himself - Contestant:
[after doing the photo shoot with a high powered fan] I have never been blown like that in my life.

Himself - Host:
Pandora's box is on fire!

Himself - Host:
Jessica's a girl gone wild!

Himself - Host:
[to Shangela during the photo shoot] Chicken cutlets! Chicken cutlets!

Himself - Contestant:
There were no ladies on that set today. There were men running for curtains.

Himself - Host:
[to James Ross when discussing his son] You know, a family that drags together, stays together.

Himself - Host:
Now remember: in this world, you only get one chance to make a first impression so don't f*** it up.

Himself - Contestant:
Being able to change yourself into a completely different person is very empowering.

Himself - Host:
[about Tyra Sanchez's runway look] There's nothing dirty about this Sanchez.

Herself - Judge:
[about Sonique's runway look] Sonique boom!

Himself - Host:
[to the top three and bottom three contestants] For you six, one of you will be the winner of this challenge and, for one of you, it's curtains.

Herself - Guest Judge:
[to Tyra Sanchez] I have a very small criticism which is just maybe have a little more fun with your face, smile, more facial expressions, and remember it's drag so gimme face.

Himself - Host:
[looking at Mystique's photo from the photo shoot] Now is that your breast coming out?

Himself - Contestant:
Got milk?

Himself - Host:
Know who you are and deliver at all times.

Himself - Host:
Sahara Davenport, your first impression for us.

Himself - Contestant:
Well, my boyfriend's Asian so I went with a parasol...

Herself - Guest Judge:
[interrupting] Well, nothing says Civil War like my Asian boyfriend.

Himself - Host:
Okay now, just between us girls, we've got a little work to do.

Himself - Host:
This is "RuPaul's Drag Race" not RuPaul's school for girls.

Himself - Host:
I'm sorry, my dear, you're up for elimination.

Himself - Host:
[to the bottom two contestants] Two queens stand before me. This is your last chance to impress me and save yourselves from elimination. The time has come for you to lip sync for your life. And remember: good luck and don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
And remember: if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love someone else? Can I get an amen up in here?

Himself - Host:
Let the music play.

Himself - Judge:
[when greeting the contestants] Hello, hello, hello!

Herself - Judge, Himself - Judge:
[in unison] Don't f*** it up.

Himself - Contestant:
[to RuPaul] Thank you... mother.

Himself - Host:
[while discussing Nina Flower's runway outfit] I want one in every color.

Himself - Host:
[during Bebe Zahara Benet's runway] Sell the garment, honey.

Himself - Host:
Silence! Let's bring back the girls.

Himself - Host:
[to the final two contestants] This is your very last chance to impress me and walk away with the prize. The time has come for you to lip sync for your life. Good luck and, for the last time, girls, [whispers] don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
[to the winner] I pass the reigns onto you, my dear. It will be your job to spread the love, the message, the beauty of being the next drag superstar.

Himself - Host:
[to the winner] My queen, remember: if you can't love yourself, how are you going to love somebody else. [pause] Now, walk.

Himself - Host:
[final line] All right, that's a wrap!

Himself - Host:
Now, eat your tic tac and we will celebrate.

Himself - Contestant:
Ah, loca, work.

Himself - Contestant:
[discussing what everyone's real names are] Loca, what is yours?

Himself - Contestant:
Jorge.

Himself - Contestant:
Huh?

Himself - Contestant:
Jorge... as in George.

Himself - Contestant:
Oh, your name is George?

Himself - Contestant:
Jorge. Jorge. Jorge.

Himself - Contestant:
Huh?

Himself - Contestant:
Ah, loca! [throws hands up]

Himself - Host:
Don't f*** it up! See ya!

Himself - Contestant:
Keep burning yourself, b*tch.

Himself - Host:
Silence! I've made my decision. Bring the girls back.

Himself - Host:
You're still in the race.

Himself - Host:
[to the bottom two contestants] This is your final chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination. The time has come for you to lip sync for your life. Good luck and don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
[after the elimination] Remember: if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else. Can I get an amen in here?

Himself - Host:
Ladies, do you promise to have charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent 'til death do you part?

Herself - Judge:
I'm having kind of an organza orgasm over this dress.

Himself - Host:
Oh, really? Ooo!

Herself - Judge:
I love organza.

Himself - Host:
Can we get a napkin over here?

Herself - Judge:
It's kind of like this fluffy, girly, flirty dress but she's still packin' a wallop somewhere.

Himself - Contestant:
It's under the skirt.

Himself - Host:
[spoken to several contestants] A family that drags together [all chime in] stays together!

Himself - Host:
And seriously girls, don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
[to Bebe Zahara Benet] Camerooooon!

Himself - Host:
[to the other judges] All right, just between us girls...

Himself - Host:
[to the bottom two contestants] This is your last chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination. The time has come for you to lip sync for your life. Good luck, don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
[to the eliminated contestant] For tonight, sashay away.

Himself - Host:
Now, let the music play.

Himself - Host:
Now you're gonna get the change to do one another. Now, I'm not talking ki ki!

Himself - Contestant:
[to a muscular Pit Crew member] Hold that with your bicepness.

Himself - Contestant:
Rebecca is the fakest b*tch I've ever met in my life.

Herself - Judge:
[to Carmen Carrera] Stop relying on that body.

Himself - Contestant:
Oprah and Cher are God.

Himself - Host:
Good luck and don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
All right, squirrel friends, gather round.

Himself - Contestant:
[ending her segment reporting the news] My name is Connie Chung.

Himself - Contestant:
[ending her segment reporting the news] This is your name. Good night.

Himself - Contestant:
[while pitching a hair dryer] Just plug it in and blow!

Himself - Contestant:
[to Tori Spelling] Tell me about you H-I... eh, H...

Dean McDermott:
[to Tori Spelling] You have HIV?

Herself - Guest Judge:
[laughs]

Himself - Contestant:
No no no! [smiles then makes a tongue-in-cheek face at the camera] Hit TV show! I'm sorry. Hit TV show!

Himself - Contestant:
[to Tori Spelling] I mean, originally watching you on 90210 was amazing. You were always one of my true fans. I even have the doll of you!

Himself - Host:
[to Jade] Well, it's interesting to see such a beautiful woman with such a huge cock.

Himself - Host:
[to the bottom two contestants] This is your last chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination. The time has come for you to lip sync for your life. Good luck, ladies and don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
[after the elimination] If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else. Can I get an amen in here?

Himself - Host:
[after watching a video montage of Raven bad mouthing fellow contestants] Tatianna, how do you feel about hearing all that?

Tatianna:
Ugh. I think my feelings are easily explained. [to Raven] Uh, you're jealous. You're insecure. No one that feels that great about themselves has to put others down the way that you do. I have had very negative feelings toward you since the end of that show. Now I know that I said some sh*t, but really though, how do you say something like what you said to people like Nicole? I think Nicole genuinely thought that she made a friend.

Raven:
We were not talking about Nicole and I right now. We were talking about you and me.

Tatianna:
Okay, well let me get back to it.

Raven:
Okay.

Nicole Paige Brooks:
But I mean, that is a fact. I really did think that I found a friend. I was gagged by that.

Raven:
Well...

Tatianna:
I am not done talking yet. You will speak when I'm done.

Morgan McMichaels:
Ooo, honey. Security.

Tatianna:
She [Raven] has gotten to say everything that she's wanted to say about me. It's my turn. And I never said anything hurtful about you. I said that you run your mouth 'cause you do. But I didn't, like, I didn't go for, "Oh, she's fat" or "Oh, she's an airhead", "She's dumb", "She's nothing", "She lives for someone that's nothing". Bullshit!

Raven:
When my opinion was asked for is when I gave it. When I went into the interview they would say, "What do you think about this". "What do you think about that?" Here's my opinion. So if it came off and sounded sh*t, sorry it sounded sh*t.

Tatianna:
You're not... about the apology. You're not sorry for sh*t.

Raven:
Okay, well then, I'm done.

Tatianna:
'Cause I haven't heard from you. The only time I've heard from you was "you're gorgeous". And then another message: "You're gorgeous".

Raven:
'Cause you are gorgeous and I've told you since day one. You, out of everyone in this competition has the most beautiful face in this competition.

Tatianna:
I'm more than a face.

Nicole Paige Brooks:
It's just malicious. Just gay faggotry that I just was not thinking we were going to run into here.

Raven:
Well, guess what. We are making a tv show so don't sit here and act like we were filming an episode of 7th Heaven.

Tatianna:
I didn't say that.

Raven:
Its a f***in' drag competition.

Nicole Paige Brooks:
I know but they all smiled at my face at one point.

Raven:
I never smiled at your face and I never hung out with you so you can sit there and say we were cool and we hung out. We never did. Every one of you, even Morgan, can say "you're a b*tch". I don't care.

Tatianna:
That's evident. That's very evident. That's the problem. That is your problem. Your personality is for sh*t. You are the one that is face value. Your outside is gorgeous Raven, but your insides are dark and nasty. And I don't like you.

Pandora Box:
You know, I can hire a stylist and some of these girls in the competition needed a personality lift, and you can't get one of those.

Himself - Host:
What do you have to say about Santino's outfit tonight?

Pandora Box:
I love homeless chic. I think it looks great.

Dont? Sims:
Two piece and a biscuit.

James Leonard:
[crying] "How's my makeup look?

Thomas Hawkins:
Destroyed, b*tch.

James Leonard:
Don't... do that to me.

Jerick Hoffer:
Get ready, b*tches, 'cause it's monsoon season!

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Adore Delano, and I'm 23 years old, and I'm a f***ing Libra. I don't fit in with society. I don't fit in with drag queens. For all the queens telling me that I'm not polished enough: I just want them to know that I'm polish remover, b*tch.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is BenDeLaCreme, and I'm 31 years old. BenDeLaCreme is effervescent and optimistic... I refer to her as terminally delightful. So positive she could cause death at any moment.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Tia Gunn. I'm 23 years old. Gia's a fishy girl. She's CCC: Crazy Cuckoo C*nt.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Laganja Estranja. I'm 24 years old. Laganza is known for her wild and amazing dance ability. She's ghetto, but she's also classy and glamorous.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is April Carri?n. I'm 24 years old. Directly from Guaynabo, Puerto Rico. April is a cross between Bj?rk and Coco Rocha. You know, something weird, but something glamorous.

Himself - Contestant:
I'm Kelly Mantle. I'm 37 years old. I am an actor. I've been on a bunch of television shows, but I promise I'm not going to run around reciting my IMDb page like some people we know from past seasons.

Himself - Contestant:
I'm Vivacious. I'm 40 years old. Vivacious is the last original club kid in New York City. My look is Leigh Bowery Abstract Entity. Vivacious is living art.

Himself - Host:
For the first time, we're not just having one premiere - we're having two. You are the first seven queens to arrive. This week, you'll be competing against each other and one of you will be going home. Next week it's part two, as seven new queens arrive. Because the only thing better than one big opening, is two big openings. This way, no one can get lost in the crowd.

Himself - Contestant:
When I was 17, I appeared on American Idol. I made it to the top 13. I'm proud of it, but I looked like a lesbian Jonas brother.

Himself - Host:
We Interrupt this kiki to bring you a special bulletin. This season, the drag revolution will be televised, so don't adjust your sets, because this extravaganza is being broadcast in H.D.S. That's High Definition Shade. Mmm, hmm. We now return to our regularly scheduled competition, already in progress.

Himself - Host:
Baby, I think you better chug-a-lug some go-go juice real quick and make it happen.

Himself - Contestant:
Party!

Himself - Host:
Covergirl, put the face in your walk. Head to two, let your whole body talk. And, what?

Himself - Host:
G-G-G-Gia!

Himself - Host:
Gentlemen, start your engines, and may the best WOMAN win!

Herself - Judge:
Is that bacon on your chest? What is it?

Himself - Host:
They're flower petals.

Herself - Judge:
I'm still getting bacon.

Himself - Host:
Now, sissy that walk!

Himself - Host:
Adore Delano, tell me about this outfit.

Himself - Contestant:
Well, um... I had a vision, like, if I was an 80's mermaid, who go her prom done by, like, Heatherette when they first started, didn't have a sewing machine. Just learning how to make something out of something.

Himself - Host:
Silence! I've made my decision. Bring back my squirrels.

Himself - Host:
Next up, BenDeLaCreme

Herself - Judge:
Did you sew this?

Himself - Contestant:
I didn't. This is all just, uh, hot glue and desperation from head to toe. I wanted the craftsmanship to go with the Golden Girls theme and look like it was made by old arthritic hands.

Himself - Judge:
It's couture. It's a concept. It's stunning.

Himself - Host:
Gia Gunn. You're safe. Laganza Estranga. You're safe. April Carrion. You're safe. BenDeLaCreme. You were serving cheesecake, and left us gagging for more. Condragulations, you're the winner of this week's challenge. You'll receive a custom jewel package from fierce drag jewelers. Kelly Mantle. You're runway look was a little Downton Shabby. I'm sorry, but you're up for elimination. Adore Delano. You're couture was a honey of a boo boo. vivacious. You're runway strut was pure vogue, but your outfit was vague. Vivacious... I'm sorry, my dear, but you're up for elimination. Adore, you are safe. You may join the other girls. Two queens stand before me. Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me and save yourself from elimination. The time has come for you to lip-synch, for your life. Good luck, and don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
Vivacious - shante, you stay.

Himself - Contestant:
Thank you, Ru.

Himself - Host:
[to Vivacious] You may join the other girls.

Himself - Host:
[to Kelly] Kelly mantle, I am so glad we had this time together. Now, sashay away.

Himself - Host:
Carmen Electra, welcome! I feel so Paisley Park tonight!

Herself - Guest Judge:
Yes... very.

Himself - Contestant:
[Jinkx Monsoon] I am Seattle's premiere Jewish narcoleptic drag queen. Thank you!

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Detox and I am 27-years-old. I can do everything. I act, I sing, I rap, I dance.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Roxxxy Andrews and I'm 28-years-old. I'm a pageant girl, big hair, big make-up. From head to toe, it's a Roxxxy Andrews project.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Serena ChaCha and I'm 21-years-old. I come from an art school environment and I'm interested in fine art drag.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Alyssa Edwards and I am 32 years of age. I'm known as the Vanessa Williams of drag because after winning the title of Miss Gay America, the crown was taken away from me. I am here to show people I still got it.

Himself - Contestant:
My name's Penny Tration and I am 39-years-old. I'm here because I was chosen by thousands of people in the online voting contest. I hope that me being voted on the show by a lot of people makes the other queens really intimidated.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Vivienne Pinay and I'm 26-years-old. Vivienne is all about glamor. My beauty is everything.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Alaska and I'm 27-years-old. And I also have a very famous boyfriend whose name is Sharon Needles. In this competition, dating the previous winner is definitely uncharted territory.

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Honey Mahogany and I'm 28-years-old. People get down on San Francisco for being a bunch of hippies but there's so much beauty there. Have you seen Honey Mahogany? [laughs]

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Ivy Winters and I'm 25-years-old. I make dresses out of cassette tape, paper cups, condoms. I will figure out a way to turn it into a costume.

Himself - Contestant:
I'm Lineysha Sparx and I am 24-years-old. Lineysha is so fierce, so flawless, so a-sparkling. Lineysha's in the house so wash out, b*tches!

Himself - Contestant:
I'm Coco Montrese and I'm 37-years-old.

[pause]

Himself - Contestant:
Alyssa Edwards,

[pause]

Himself - Contestant:
what the f***? We were close and I feel like I was bamboozled. I don't think she wants to talk about it but we're gonna talk about it

[pause]

Himself - Contestant:
if she doesn't go home first.

Himself - Contestant:
I am Jade Jolie. I am 25-years-old. Honey, I'm servin' up fish, tuna on a platter. Jade is bubbly. She laughs a lot. I just like to be fabulous and fun. [laughs]

Himself - Contestant:
My name is Jinkx Monsoon. I'm 24 and I'm Seattle's youngest MILF. I'm theatrically trained in the broadway school of singing.

Himself - Contestant:
I'm Monica Beverly Hillz with a z. I'm 27. Monica Beverly Hillz is very good at giving face. I have been called ghetto, banji, trashy. I was raised in the ghetto, ya know, I'm street smart. There's nothing wrong with that.

Himself - Contestant:
I was born and raised in the Republic of Panama.

Himself - Contestant:
[being genuine] Where is Panama?

Himself - Contestant:
[rudely] It's between Columbia and Costa Rica. It's one of the number one retirement homes for Americans. You should consider going there.

Himself - Contestant:
Not if they're all like you.

Himself - Host:
Apparently hoarding is the new black. [after seeing Jiggly Caliente's runway outfit]

Himself - Contestant:
Lashauwn Beyond is the main attraction for the circus. She just has a lot of fun!

Himself - Contestant:
Jiggly Caliente is New York City's plus size Barbie. She got swag for your nerve. You can't take her!

Himself - Contestant:
Milan is fierce! She is fabulous, she's a diva! She can act, sing, dance, produce, and you don't want it from her!

Himself - Contestant:
DiDa Ritz is if you think about Beyonc? and Carrie Bradshaw and Kimora Simmons and they all three got together and somehow had a baby.

Himself - Contestant:
I have 21 and I'm from the island of enchantment... Puerto Rico! I'm a little person but I'm a fierce... b*tch! [snaps]

Himself - Contestant:
Chad Michaels is first and foremost a celebrity impersonator. That's my passion. Cher has been what I'm most well known for. I really do my best to impersonate her with reality.

Himself - Contestant:
The three words that would describe Sharon Needles are beautiful, spooky, and stupid.

Himself - Contestant:
Latrice Royale is large and in charge, chunky yet funky, bold and beautiful, baby.

Himself - Contestant:
[describing his transformation into The Princess] I'm a reserved extrovert and I think putting on the make up and the wig and the costume unleashes her.

Himself - Contestant:
Girl, the shade, the shade of it all!

Himself - Host:
Ooo, girl! You got she-mail!

Himself - Contestant:
When I heard $100,000, I just wanted to just pee on the floor and start doing flip flaps.

Himself - Host:
Sharon Needles!

Himself - Contestant:
Hi, Ru.

Himself - Host:
Didn't I meet you at the free clinic?

Himself - Contestant:
I think so! I quit going. It's so expensive.

Himself - Host:
[laughs] Well, you know what they say. Only three things will survive the Rupocalypse... cockroaches, Cher, and drag queen zombies!

Himself - Contestant:
Black people don't stand there while zombies are coming at them! They run, b*tch!

Himself - Contestant:
So Ru tells us that we have to make a post a-pop-a-lop-ic outfit and I don't know what that means!

Himself - Contestant:
[describing himself in drag as Alisa Summers] I'm definitely a fishy queen. I can walk down the street, ya know I don't really get clocked. People are lookin' more so at how big my titties and ass are.

Himself - Contestant:
Eat it!

D.J. Pierce:
Halleloo!

Himself - Contestant:
[describing Jiggly Caliente's runway outfit] Baked potato couture! You look like you're ready to bake at 350!

Himself - Host:
[describing Chad Michaels' runway outfit] Very Lawrence of My Labia!

Himself - Contestant:
[Jinkx Monsoon] Water off a duck's back.

Himself - Host:
Alaska!

Himself - Contestant:
Hi-eee!

Himself - Host:
The 49th state!

Himself - Contestant:
The biggest state!

Himself - Host:
Oh, that's right! It's like it's own country!

Himself - Contestant:
I'm my own continent. I'm in continent.

Himself - Host:
[to Alyssa Edwards who is impersonating Katy Perry] Did you really kiss a girl? [pause] Have you ever kissed a girl?

Himself - Contestant:
[impersonating Katy Perry] Oh, Ru, never!

Himself - Host:
But... uh... yeah. [pause] Have you ever f***ed a black guy?

Himself - Contestant:
[Jinkx Monsoon about to be critiqued on the runway] Water off a duck's back.

Himself - Contestant:
[to Michael Feliciano] Victims blame other people when they don't do well.

Himself - Host:
Up next, the 49th state! Alaska!

Himself - Host:
Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me and prove to the world that you are America's next drag superstar.

Himself - Host:
Silence! Bring back my girls.

Himself - Host:
And remember! If you can't love yourself, how in hell are you gonna love someone else? Can I get an amen in here?

Himself - Host:
Can I get an amen in here? [all reply "amen"]

Himself - Host:
Now, let the music play!

Himself - Host:
Order in the courtroom, huntys! [hits gavel]

Himself - Host:
So, gentlemen, start your engines and may the best Liza, terrific, win!

Himself - Host:
[to Sonique] So-nique-a-nique-a-nique-ah!

Himself - Host:
[to Sonique when discussing her choice to impersonate Lady Gaga] I expect to be gagging on your Gaga.

Himself - Host:
Now, the queen with the best celebrity charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent will win the challenge.

Himself - Host:
Oh, and one other thing: don't f*** it up!

Himself - Contestant:
[impersonating Carol Channing] Scurvy! I'm the national spokesperson for Broadway Actresses Against Scurvy.

Himself - Contestant:
[impersonating RuPaul] The time has come now for you to lip sync for your life!

Himself - Contestant:
[shouting, after discovering he's "safe"] Yes! Thank you, Jesus!

Herself - Judge:
[to Tatianna] I think you've got a million dollar face and a five million dollar body and you've got a twenty dollar outfit on but I wanna see more charm and less hooker.

Himself - Host:
[to the bottom two contestants] This is your last chance to impress me and save yourselves from elimination. The time has come for you to lip sync for your life. And remember: good luck and don't f*** it up.

Himself - Host:
[to the eliminated contestant] Sashay away.

Himself - Host:
Hey, squirrel friends!

"and i was like brown cow...stunning"

gentleman start your engines and may the best woman win

“If you can’t love yourself, then how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else.”