Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

Dr. Alfred Jones:
When things get tricky in my life, I talk to my fish.

Dr. Alfred Jones:
There was a moment when I had everything, but... Well, now I don't know what to do.

Sheikh Muhammed:
When the time comes, you will know.

Harriet:
Are you sure you won't have one [a glass of wine] ?

Dr. Alfred Jones:
At lunchtime?

Harriet:
Dr. Jones, I haven't spoken a word of Mandarin in about four years so I am celebrating even if you're not.

Dr. Alfred Jones:
I only drink alcohol on the weekend, and even then only after seven.

Harriet:
No exceptions.

Dr. Alfred Jones:
None that I can think of. Well yeah, I got married on a Friday but I think it was a, a, as I recall a bank holiday in Northern Ireland so I allowed myself, I think, a glass on a technicality.

Harriet:
[She just stares at him]

Dr. Alfred Jones:
That was an attempt at a joke miss Chetwode-Talbot.

Harriet:
Oh! Heh-heh-heh. Right! Good one!

Sheikh Muhammed:
To faith and fish.

Dr. Alfred Jones:
And science.

Brian Fleet:
Anglers are crazies. You think Al Qaeeda are a threat, you can think again.

Dr. Alfred Jones:
I don't know anyone that goes to church anymore.

Harriet:
I don't think I do.

Dr. Alfred Jones:
On Sundays we go to Tesco's.

Patricia Maxwell:
There are 10,000 fish. If you can hook one of them then you can f/ck off back to transport.