See No Evil, Hear No Evil

Dave:
Tell me the first thing that pops in your head.

Wally:
P*ssy!

Eve:
Any last requests, Mr. Carew?

Wally:
I suppose a f*** is out of the question.

Eve:
I'm afraid so.

Wally:
So, you're the fat f*** who's running this show!

Sutherland:
Beautifully put, Mr. Karew. You're obviously a poet, a man after my own heart.

Dave:
And then one day, my wife turned into this remarkable creature that could sit on the end of a broom stick and take off. She could actually achieve flight.

Wally:
I think I was married to that woman once.

Dave:
Small world.

Capt. Braddock:
What's the story here, Gatlin? I got the commissioner crawling up my ass!

Wally:
I hear prison isn't so bad if you like it up the butt.

Dave:
Yes and zen suddeny dey excepted American Express.

Wally:
Yes, don't go home without it.

Capt. Braddock:
Okay no more bullshit

Capt. Braddock:
was there or wasn't there a woman?

Dave:
Are you serious?

Capt. Braddock:
Yes I'm goddamn serious.

Dave:
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a woman?

Dave:
Today I threatened to shoot a naked woman with my erection.

Dave:
You swear an awful lot.

Wally:
You're f***ing-A right!

Dave:
Who are you talking to?!

Wally:
I'm talking to you, you prick.

Dave:
Why don't you look me in the eye and say that?

Wally:
I would if I could but I can't, I'm blind.

Dave:
You're blind?!

Wally:
Yes I'm blind, what are you f***ing deaf?

Dave:
Yes, I'm f***ing deaf!

Wally:
You're really deaf?

Dave:
I'm really deaf.

Wally:
Then how do you know what I'm saying?

Dave:
Because I'm reading your lips now you want the job or not?

Dave:
Well excuse me! Pardon em moi, masseur hot sh*t!

Wally:
Where are we?

Dave:
Probably on our way to New Jersey by now.

Wally:
No kidding! I got family in there! Do you wanna come with me?

Dave:
Of course. You've earned my trust, Wally. You've been a very good friend to me these past couple days. You're always there for me. You never get me into trouble. Sometimes it seems a bit boring but that's a small price to pay for such a wonderful friendship.

Wally:
That's beautiful, Dave. Do you mean everything you just said?

Dave:
I'll tell you how I really feel in about a minute or two. Right now I'm a little overwhelmed by the STINK of the seven tons of garbage that you drove us into!!!

Wally:
Is THAT what it is?! I thought you let one go! That's why I didn't say anything!

Dave:
That's very kind of you! Thank you!

Wally:
These streets are bumpy.

Dave:
You're driving on the sidewalk!

Wally:
Where are we?

Dave:
I think we're floating towards New Jersey.

Dave:
We're in a warehouse, and you just hit a cow. I think we better back up.

Adele:
I think David got a little messed up.

Dave:
What did she say?

Wally:
She said she thinks you're an a**hole!

Dave:
How many fingers am I holding up in front of your eyes right now?

Wally:
Three!

Dave:
That's good. That's pretty good, considering that he's blind.

Dave:
F***ing-A. Something bothers you, f*** it. Your wife leaves you, f*** her. Your boss fires you, f*** him. F***ing-A. F***in'em. Right?

Wally:
You're f***ing right!

Dave:
It's a gift to be able to do that.

Professor Kasuda from uptown reports to Captain he's found proof they had the mens rea- A legal term used to prove intention to commit a crime.

(Gasps -Dave incredibly shocked. Wally smiles knowingly as he's heard the explanation )

Dave-Mens Rea? How could we have gotten men's Rea? How is that possible? Did we take blood? Can you do it without taking blood? We both used condoms how is this possible? I want to see a doctor...I feel sick...

.....Mens Rea.

Ohhh ohhh My God! No!