Serious Moonlight

Louise:
A relationship ending is like a death just two people know about. A whole life gets lost, everything we did together. All the places we traveled, the fights, the small moments of tenderness.

[first lines]

Louise:
[on the phone] Michelle.

Michelle:
Yeah?

Louise:
I threw heck to the wind and drove up to the country a day early, want to surprise Ian, spend the long weekend with him. So, I need you to call Metler and tell him that the papers were filed yesterday and everything is fine, and I will talk to him first thing on Monday morning. Then call my dentist, cancel my appointment, and reschedule it for Tuesday afternoon. And then cancel my meetings for the rest of the day. You know what to do, that's why you are my assistant. Kiss, kiss, kiss.

Louise:
She's very pretty. Not so bright, though.

Ian:
You need someone, not me. Not me in particular. She needs me, in particular.

Todd:
See, here's the difference between you and me, man. Whenever I get the urge to get married, I grab my balls and squeeze 'em until I can't feel my legs, and then it just passes.

Ian:
Let's talk this through. Let's work our marriage out, you and I. Even if it's only for fifteen minutes.

Louise:
Are you just saying that because you're taped to a toilet?

Todd:
If anybody else shows up, we're running out of tape...

Ian:
Has this sort of thing ever happened before, officer?

Detective:
I'm sure lots of people have had affairs with much younger women.

Ian:
No, I mean a guy on a mower robbing people who have vacation homes up here?