Shadows & Illuminations

Nyoman Kereta:
There are people who are sick and, until they die, nobody cares for them. They just disappear.

Nyoman Kereta:
I wanted to hide in an empty and quiet place, but there were always creatures and sounds. There were voices coming from the grass. I saw these black figures, apparitions. The rice fields were full of voices. They wanted to take my body and make me a communist... I want them to stay away from me and not enter my body. If I let them stay inside me, they drain both my body and soul. But if I'm willing to be a communist, they leave me alone.

Nyoman Kereta:
When 1965 happened... I was sought by the police, the reserves. When people were looking for me, I felt really afraid. Some of them were my old schoolmates. They restrained their hands. They were hit with clubs. Plok! Plok! And they were killed. The dead were thrown into a hole. Those who weren't dead were hit again. Some of them were friends of mine. Communists were forced to participate as well. 'If you don't kill them, you'll be killed.' Those were the orders.

Nyoman Kereta:
One night, our father was taken as it was growing dark. The hit his head until his brains splattered. They stabbed his stomach with a sword. They gouged his eyes out with a pick so that he couldn't see if he lived. I was really afraid of the militia members... The head of the militia member has become a spirit. He keeps me up at night, he gets into my body, my heart.

Herself - Dr. Luh Ketut Suryani:
At first, I diagnosed him with acute psychosis, but after a year, I diagnosed him with paranoid schizophrenia, because his disorder lasted more than three months. Although during the last visit he said that he didn't have any more problems, if you saw his face you would see that he had a very flat affect, with no expression.

Himself - Rarad:
We Balinese believe in the law of karma. Maybe he is suffering because of what he did in a previous life. We do not know how long he'll be punished. So we just accept the situation.

Dewa Gede Alit, Traditional Healer:
I treated Pak Kereta because he was mute. He was terrified. After he was brought here in 1983 and received treatment, he could speak again. After being here for 25 days, he began talking. He stayed here for three months, during which time I treated him. After that he went back to his village... I don't know what made him sick, I just treated him.