Shanghai Knights

Roy:
This country blows.

Chon Wang:
I just saved you!

Chon Lin:
You were late!

Roy:
Hey you lost one war this way don't make the same mistake twice.

Roy:
Think about your sister in London.

Chon Wang:
What?

Roy:
I'd love some spotted dick!

Roy:
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. My back was hurting, like there was a knife there.

Roy:
That's a terrible name for a detective. Sherlock Holmes?

Roy:
Just break it open!

Chon Wang:
No. I have to have patience, and when I open it, I'll be ready to read the message.

Roy:
Oh, c'mon, Confucius, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!

Roy:
I thought of title for a new book: "Roy O'Bannon vs. Little Lord Sissy". Or how about: "Ray O'Bannon versus the Man who would be Queen"?

Roy:
I call that my kung pow chicken.

Chon Wang:
Who loves you, baby?

Roy:
I'm gettin' ready to launch a little thing called operation sweep her off her feet.

Chon Wang:
You know what I call him? Not Roy O'Bannon. Roy O'Boloney!

Roy:
Ooooh... You think you're so cool with your karate... and your child-like reflexes!

Roy:
Look at you!

Chon Wang:
Look at you!

Roy:
What brings you to New York?

Chon Wang:
My share of the gold.

Roy:
Refresh my memory. What gold are we talking about?

Chon Wang:
We are wasting time.

Roy:
What do you think I've been doing? Sittin' here and drinking expensive hooch?

Chon Wang:
I look like a fool.

Roy:
What? You're a Maharajah! That's Indian royalty!

Chon Wang:
But I'm Chinese.

Roy:
It's the same thing.

Chon Wang:
I think he's offering you food.

Roy:
Oh! Spotted Dick! Oh no, I think I'll pass. I'm not really a dessert man.

Roy:
That's what I love about China. Everyone's job description is so damn cool!

Roy:
And just to set the record straight... Roy O'Bannon is not attracted to loose women; loose women are attracted to me.

Roy:
I see a lot of myself in that kid. It's kinda freakin' me out.

Chon Wang:
Wu Chan!

Roy:
Wu who?

Roy:
I'm a thirty year old waiter/gigolo. Where's the future in that?

Chon Wang:
For father.

Chon Lin:
For father.

Roy:
For Old Man Wang.

Roy:
Just be glad I didn't invest the gold in that automobile industry. Like that will ever be big.

Chon Wang:
If you break her heart, I break your legs.

Roy:
That's fair.

Roy:
There's this new venture in California: moving pictures. They're silent so we won't have to worry about the language problem but I think people would really go for that action stuff.

Chon Wang:
Chon Wang

Chon Wang:
movie star. It could work.

Roy:
I'm am not gonna die hanging from a clock. Oh look, I can see our hotel from here.

Lord Rathbone:
Tell me, how did it feel to kill a mummy with your bare hands? Only a nation of uneducated rednecks would be amused by such cowboy dribble.

Roy:
Woah, hey, what's with the personal attacks? You don't see me commenting on your pasty complection or your snotty accent, or even your filthy sex books! Yeah, I saw them! They DISGUST...

Roy:
What is it with you people and the head?

Roy:
You decadent Philistine!

Chon Lin:
Once, I sent him over the Great Wall. He was lost for three days!

Lord Rathbone:
Does your incompetence know no bounds?

Charlie Chaplin:
I'm just lookin' out for number one.

Jack the Ripper:
Nice night for a walk.

Chon Lin:
F***ing loser!

Roy:
You got any ideas?

Chon Wang:
We jump.

Roy:
Jump?

Roy:
You mean fall?

Chon Wang:
Who would leave a pile of stones in the middle of a field?

Roy:
I don't know, Chon, these people are nuts.

Chon Wang:
Roy come on!

Roy:
Lord Rathboner!

Roy:
Roy O'Bannon will not go down quietly. You hear that, England? Throw anything you've got at me! Your lousy weather! Your perverted killers! Your Spotted Dick!

Chon Wang's Father:
You are not permitted to gaze at the Imperial Seal.

Chon Wang:
Roy! Roy! My ass is on fire.

Roy:
I thought the food here was supposed to suck!

Roy:
Why did you let us out?

Charlie Chaplin:
Why did you give up the seal?

Roy:
Because I'm a fool.

Charlie Chaplin:
I guess I'm a fool, too.

Roy:
Just go on and drown me! I don't care anymore!