She Couldn't Take It

Mr. Van Dyke:
I'm asking you with my dying breath.

Ricardi:
All right, Pop, anything.

Mr. Van Dyke:
[dying] Sucker.

Mr. Van Dyke:
I've spent my entire life trying to stay out of the newspapers, and they've spent theirs getting into them.

Ricardi:
I'll be getting out of here soon, and when I do I'll be an educated man. I've spent six years here in 'Stonewall College.' That's my alma mater.

Carol Van Dyke:
You know, I doubt that I'll marry you after all. It would be cheaper to buy Bartlett's Familiar Quotations.

Mrs. van Dyke:
Is Carol crazy?

Tony Van Dyke:
Undoubtedly. Inherited.

Carol Van Dyke:
He can lick any woman his weight in the world.

Mr. Van Dyke:
Oh, you mean bootlegging. Well, of course, that never really was a business.

Ricardi:
No? What was it?

Mr. Van Dyke:
Well, uh, well, uh...