Six of a Kind

Nuggetville Sheriff 'Honest John' Hoxley:
It's the old saying... It takes a thief to catch...

Mrs. K. Rumford:
AHEM!

Nuggetville Sheriff 'Honest John' Hoxley:
ah, must have been thinking about something else.

J. Pinkham 'Pinky' Whinney:
Maybe I'd better murder them and get it over with, hmm?

Flora Whinney:
Don't talk so loud!

Nuggetville Sheriff 'Honest John' Hoxley:
I always talk loud. I'm a sheriff.

J. Pinkham 'Pinky' Whinney:
Can you take care of us?

Hotel desk clerk:
Oh, yes, I can give you a room and a hot bath now.

J. Pinkham 'Pinky' Whinney:
You give me the room. I'll take the bath myself.

Flora Whinney:
Oh, Pinky, dear, he didn't actually mean he'd bathe you.

J. Pinkham 'Pinky' Whinney:
[after a pause he laughs] Skip it, dear.

Hotel desk clerk:
Pardon me, do you and your husband want a bath too?

Gracie De Vore:
[laughs and giggles] Oh, you say the funniest things!

Hotel desk clerk:
Why?

J. Pinkham 'Pinky' Whinney:
Why funny? Don't you and George take baths?

Gracie De Vore:
Well, yeah, but not together.

Dr. Busby:
How do you feel?

Nuggetville Sheriff 'Honest John' Hoxley:
I feel as though the Russian Army has been walking over my tongue in their stocking feet.

Mrs. K. Rumford:
Now, listen to me, Honest John, why do you drink so much?

Nuggetville Sheriff 'Honest John' Hoxley:
Because I like it.

Mrs. K. Rumford:
Everything you like to do is wrong.

Nuggetville Sheriff 'Honest John' Hoxley:
According to you, everything I like to do is either illegal, immoral. or fattening.

Gracie De Vore:
Breakfast will be ready in six minutes.

George Edwards:
Six minutes?

Gracie De Vore:
Yeah, I just put on two three minute eggs.

George Edwards:
[Deadpanned] Three minutes apiece'

J. Pinkham 'Pinky' Whinney:
[Referring to her husband's grips] Well, did you manage to close it?

J. Pinkham 'Pinky' Whinney:
Well, why not? The Egyptians built the Pyramids, Napoleon crossed the Delaware, I should be able to close a bag!

Dr. Busby:
[Looking at John's warped pool cue] It's seems crooked, isn't it?

Nuggetville Sheriff 'Honest John' Hoxley:
I'd like to see something in this joint that isn't crooked!

Gracie De Vore:
My naame is Grace, but everybody calls me Gracie for short.

George Edwards:
Gracie, when we get inside to answer the ad, please let me do the talking because every day you learn more and more about less and less until finally the day will arrive when you'll practically know everything about nothing

Gracie De Vore:
[Seemingly flattered] Oh, George, whu don't you say things like that when we're out in company.

Gracie De Vore:
Oh, what's that?

George Edwards:
You wou;dn't understand. This is a map.

Gracie De Vore:
Oh, sure, I know what a map is. It's what you take every afternoon when you're tired. I always take an afternoon map.

George Edwards:
An afternoon map?

Gracie De Vore:
Sure.

George Edwards:
I bet when you went to school, you never even reached the fifth grade.

Gracie De Vore:
Aw, don't be silly. I spent three of the happiest years of my life in the fifth grade.

Gracie De Vore:
[Seeing a horseshoe stuck in the tire] A horseshoe! That's good luck!

George Edwards:
[Sarcastically] Yes, this is perhaps the happiest moment of my life.

Gracie De Vore:
Oh, the tire is flat isn't it?

George Edwards:
Only on the bottom.

Gracie De Vore:
[Giggling] Yes.

Mrs. K. Rumford:
John?

Nuggetville Sheriff 'Honest John' Hoxley:
Yeah?

Mrs. K. Rumford:
Are you busy?

Nuggetville Sheriff 'Honest John' Hoxley:
[Sarcastically] I'm about as busy as a pickpocket in a nudist colony.