Sky High

Will Stronghold:
[voiceover] You look at them and see the defenders of the world. All I see is my dad. Wearing tights.

Steve Stronghold:
I know every kid thinks his dad is invincible – and I nearly am. But who knows? Maybe next time I punch a meteor hurtling toward the earth, I'll be the one that shatters into a million pieces.

Layla:
I noticed you had some recyclables in the trash. I took the liberty of moving them for you.

Josie Stonghold:
Thank you, Layla. You hungry? I've got plenty of eggs, bacon…

Layla:
No, thanks. You know how my mom can communicate with animals? Apparently, they don't like being eaten.

[a brief but awkward pause]

Josie:
How about some juice?

News Anchorman:
It seems evil has struck our morning commute…

Layla:
Now, I know it's just our first day, but I already can't wait to graduate and start saving mankind. And womankind. And animalkind.

Will:
And the rainforest.

Layla:
Of course!

["Power Placement" trials are being conducted with the other students as an audience.]

Layla:
What is humiliating him in front of the entire class going to prove? This is so unfair.

Will:
Yeah, well, if life were to suddenly get fair, I doubt it would happen in high school.

Principal Powers:
[on school public address system] "The cafeteria staff would like to remind sidekicks to stop ordering hero sandwiches." (the kids exchange "You've gotta be kidding me." looks)

Principal Powers:
[on school public address system] A reminder that there is no smoking on the campus. Or freezing, or bursting into flame.

Nurse Spex:
The kids who get, uh, bitten by radioactive insects or fall into a vat of toxic waste, their powers usually show up the next day. Or… they die.

Layla:
When life gives you lemons... (creates a tree and grabs an apple)

Will:
...make apple juice?

Layla:
(laughs exasperatedly) I can't make lemons! I don't know what it is.

Steve:
All I ever wanted for him was to save the world. To just... feel that, once.

Josie:
That's an awful lot to put on a 14-year-old's shoulders.

Steve:
Oh, come on, Josie. When I was his age I could put a truck on my shoulders.

Josie:
We can't change who he is. Not without dropping him in a vat of toxic waste.

[Steve turns to look a Josie and raises his finger]

Josie:
Steve.

Steve:
Now where would we even find a vat of...

Josie:
(understandably alarmed) Steve!

[Will and Warren are in the Detention Room for fighting.]

Will:
Look, whatever happened with our dads, it has nothing to do with us. [extends a hand for shaking] What do you say?

Warren:
I say, if you ever cross me again, I'll roast you alive.

Mr. Medulla:
Rays! From the silliness of the shrink ray to the devastation of the death ray, these are the very foundations of Mad Science!

Warren Peace:
You want me to heat that up for you?

Layla:
[in urgent whisper] You're not supposed to use your powers outside of school!

Warren Peace:
I was just gonna stick it in the microwave.

[In Mad Science class, Gwen has just used her powers to instantly create a ray gun.]

Gwen:
I'm a technopath. I can control technology with my mind.

Will:
Wow. All I can do is... punch stuff.

Mr. Medulla:
[passing them] And yet he'll be the one on cereal boxes. Show me the justice in that.

Mr. Medulla:
Dreadful technique. You've confused rays with beams! D! Minus! I'd give you an F, but that would only mean having to see you in summer school.

Layla:
So then there was this time in the first grade. You know how you grow lima beans in school? Well, Will could not figure out why mine were growing so quickly. It was driving him crazy. So finally I took mercy on him and told him about my powers. And we've been best friends ever since.

Warren Peace:
Hmm. And falling for him, was that before or after the lima beans?

Layla:
WHAT? I am not in love with Will Strong… is it that obvious?

Warren Peace:
Yeah.

Layla:
Great.

Warren Peace:
You know what I think? To let true love remain unspoken is the quickest route to a heavy heart.

Layla:
Wow. That is really deep.

Warren Peace:
Yeah. [holds up slip of paper from a fortune cookie] And your lucky numbers are four, sixteen, five, and forty-nine.

[Will's attempt at a good night kiss is foiled when Gwen's "father" ushers her inside the house.]

Mr. Grayson:
You're not that boy with the six arms, are you?

Will:
No, sir. J-just two.

Mr.Grayson:
Well… keep them to yourself.

Coach Boomer:
What if I told you she's not just a twin, she's an evil twin?

Mr. Medulla:
This Friday, you say?

Coach Boomer:
[chuckles] Medulla, you dog!

[Layla has asked Warren to be her date for Homecoming.]

Layla:
Please? I promise I'll make this as painless as possible.

Warren Peace:
So, you're not doing this just 'cause you like me or anything. You're doing this to get to Stronghold.

Layla:
Yeah.

Warren:
[grins] Then I'm in! [grin vanishes] But I'm not renting a tux.

Speed:
Why don't we settle this in P.E.?

Will Stronghold:
Settle what?

Ethan:
You're on! If Will beats you in "Save the Citizen", you lay off the sidekicks for the rest of the year.

Zach:
Yeah! And if he loses, you can dunk Ethan's head in the toilet every day till graduation.

Ethan:
Yeah. Huh?!

Lash:
You got yourself a deal.

[After Lash and Speed leave]

Will:
Guys, are you crazy? No freshman ever won "Save the Citizen", and those guys are undefeated!

Layla:
And you barely know how to use your powers! [the others glare at her] Sorry. Not helping.

Zach:
Will, you have no choice. You can't let them dunk Ethan's head in the toilet. Not again. The dunking… must end.

Royal Pain:
Homecoming – the greates collection of super-teens ever gathered to dance under one roof! And then, we shall have our revenge! There's only one thing we're missing.

Stitches:
King Kamehamayhem's surfboard?

Royal Pain:
(as s/he moves the lever) Darn this joystick!

Stitches:
Ah! Right, right. The Pacifier. Hey, smooth moves on the joystick. (Royal Pain reaches to choke him, but Stitches blocks it) Ahhh! (Laughs, but then Royal Pain chokes Stitches with his/her other hand) Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!

[On a double date, Coach Boomer drinks bitterly while both good and evil twins cling to Mr. Medulla.]

Twin:
You really said that?

Mr. Medulla:
True story.

Evil Twin:
You're so funny!

Mr. Medulla:
I love life!

[Warren has revealed that his date with Layla is a ploy to make Will jealous.]

Warren Peace:
Dude, you're so stupid. She's totally into you.

Will:
Not anymore. Not after tonight. I wouldn't be surprised if Layla or any of the other guys ever want to speak to me again.

Warren:
Yeah. You must've been a real jerk. 'Cause no matter what I do, I can't get them to stop talking to me.

Josie:
People make mistakes, Will. That's what high school's about. Heck, that's what life's about! The key is to learn from them.

Will:
I hope my friends see it that way.

Josie:
If someone is a true friend, you'd be surprised how understanding they can be.

Ron Wilson, Bus Driver:
There's only one person authorized to transport superheroes: Ron Wilson, Bus Driver. (punches Stitches out of the bus) And I'm Ron Wilson, Bus Driver.

Steve:
Royal Pain is a girl.

Royal Pain:
Yes, I'm a girl, you idiot! How I ever lost to a fool like you I'll never know, now prepare to be pacified.

Steve:
Do you honestly think you can kill me with that toy gun of yours?

Royal Pain:
My dear Commander, who said anything about killing you?

Gwen:
That's right. Royal Pain wasn't my mother. Royal Pain is ME!

Will:
Oh my God, I made out with an old lady.

Principal Powers:
What a waste. I can't do anything more for you. I'm not Wonder Woman, you know.

Gwen:
I went through puberty twice… for this?!

Will:
Layla, in case my Homecoming date ends up killing me tonight, I just want you to know... (pulls Layla into a deep kiss)

Will:
[voiceover] So in the end, my girlfriend became my arch-enemy, my arch-enemy became my best friend, and my best friend became my girlfriend. But, hey – that's high school.

Gwen:
Well you've got new friends now. And I think that you need to figure out whether you hang out with us - or with those losers. Come on, let's go.

Will:
No, forget it! I'm not going anywhere with you. Not now, and not to homecoming. Might as well just find yourself a new date, Gwen.

Gwen:
You're dumping me? Whoa whoa, let's just get something straight, ok? You do not dump me! Not the night before the dance!

Will:
Sorry Gwen, I, ah, just did! You're dumped!

Michael Angarano – Will Stronghold

Kurt Russell – Steve Stronghold/the Commander

Kelly Preston – Josie Stronghold/Jetstream

Mary Elizabeth Winstead – Gwen Grayson/Sue Tenny/Royal Pain

Steven Strait – Warren Peace

Danielle Panabaker – Layla

Nicholas Braun – Zach

Kelly Vitz – Magenta

Dee Jay Daniels – Ethan

Jake Sandvig – Lash

Will Harris – Speed

Malika – Penny

Khadija – Penny

Bruce Campbell – Coach Boomer/Sonic Boom

Dave Foley – Mr. Boy/All-American Boy

Kevin McDonald – Mr. Medulla

Lynda Carter – Principal Powers

Kevin Heffernan – Ron Wilson, bus driver

Cloris Leachman – Nurse Spex

Jim Rash – Mr. Grayson/Stitches

Patrick Warburton – voice of Royal Pain

Loren Berman – Little Larry

Dustin Ingram – Carbon Copy Kid

Amy Brown – twin

Kimmy Brown – evil twin

Nicole Malgarini – Freeze Girl

Will Stronghold:
[After realizing who Royal Pain really is] Oh, my God. I made out with an old lady.

Coach Boomer / Sonic Boom:
Stronghold... SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!