Snoopy's Getting Married, Charlie Brown

[Snoopy was supposed to be a watchdog and guard Peppermint Patty's house, but while doing so, he gets scared off. Outraged, Peppermint Patty phones Charlie Brown]

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt:
[dialing] Some watchdog. He hears one sound, and he runs off into the night.

[phone answers]

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt:
Hello, Chuck!

Charlie Brown:
[sleepy] Who is this?

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt:
This is Peppermint Patty. Now, where's my watchdog, Chuck? Snoopy is supposed to be guarding my house, and he just ran off! Where is he, Chuck? Where is he?

[She does not get a response]

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt:
Chuck? *Chuck*?

[still no response; Charlie Brown is sound asleep]

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt:
Chuck, wake UP!

Charlie Brown:
[startled awake] Huh - what? Oh, sorry.

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt:
Chuck, you better get over here right away. Snoopy was your responsibility. If he's ran out on me, you're gonna have to take his place. *YOU'RE* GONNA BE THE WATCHDOG, CHUCK! DO YOU HEAR ME?

Charlie Brown:
Woof.

[last lines]

Lucy van Pelt:
Charlie Brown, I've got some good news for you, and I've got some bad news. The good news is that we've prepared a great party. [short pause] The bad news is that the bride-to-be has just run off with the golden retriever.

[Snoopy faints in shock]

Charlie Brown:
The wedding's off!

Linus van Pelt:
What about my sermon?

Lucy van Pelt:
What about my salad?

Schroeder:
Hey, what about my music?

Marcie:
What about my dinner?

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt:
What about my *wedding* cake?

Charlie Brown:
What about my *dog*?

Charlie Brown:
[singing somewhat off-key] One o'clock and all is well. / Actually, all is not well. / What am I doing out here at one o'clock in the morning? / I'm not a watchdog. / What am I doing here? / What happened to the real watchdog? / What is the purpose of life?

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt:
[trying to sleep] Knock it off, Chuck! I need my beauty sleep.

Charlie Brown:
I sure hope Spike makes it here in time for the wedding. It's a long way form Needles, California. Gee, I wonder if he's had any trouble coming that long way.

Charlie Brown:
I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe I'm being a watchdog.

Linus van Pelt:
How are the plans for the wedding coming along?

Charlie Brown:
Well, the ceremony will take place right here in the backyard. The bride will enter through that small gate over there. Snoopy and Spike will stand right here. The reception party after the wedding will be held downstairs in the doghouse. He's having it painted over in pink and white.

Charlie Brown:
Well, Spike, you've made Snoopy very happy coming all the way from Needles to be Snoopy's best beagle. I hope we live up to your expectations. Come, you must meet the bride and the rest of the wedding party. Then tonight, we're holding Snoopy's bachelor party. As his closest relative, you, of course, will be very important to the festivities.