Snuff Box

[repeated line]

Matt Berry:
Whiskey!

Rich Fulcher:
I don't know whether to puke or piss, but I gotta piss.

Rich Fulcher:
Can I get olive oil on that?

[repeated line]

Matt Berry:
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[repeated lines]

Rich Fulcher:
Is that good?

Matt Berry:
Very good.

Caddy:
[as Matt walks across the putting green] Oi! Get off the green!

Matt Berry:
F*** off.

Caddy:
I said get off the green!

Matt Berry:
Yeah? [Adopts fighting stance and kicks the flag pole. People gasp]

Rich:
What's the matter with you?

Matt Berry:
Nothing. I'm as happy as a man with tits in his hat.

Rich:
Is that good?

Matt Berry:
Very good.

Matt Berry:
Your dog, er... you've got a got a Golden Retriever, with a...

Rich Fulcher:
Silver bell around his neck.

Matt Berry:
That's right and one ear that goes up...

Rich Fulcher:
...and the other one goes down and the paws go like this... He's so cute.

Matt Berry:
Yeah well it's dead, Iqbal has just ran over it on his way to get some scratch cards.

Rich Fulcher:
No... That's terrible.

Matt Berry:
Not according to him he won a tenner.

Rich Fulcher:
Oh my aching balls. My brother's flying in! Today!

Matt Berry:
Well, he's not staying here.

Rich Fulcher:
Oh, no, I wouldn't want him to.

Matt Berry:
Good. What's he like this brother of yours?

Rich Fulcher:
You know how you used to call me a prick?

Matt Berry:
I never stopped calling you a prick.

Rich Fulcher:
Well, this guy is King Pricko of Pricksburg, Cockachusetts.

[first lines]

Rich:
Matt, Matt, wait up! Hey, Matt, sorry I'm late. Are we early?

Matt:
No idea - I lost my watch.