Sorority Row

Chugs:
[from trailer] It's a body. Do we wrap it in the blanket as it is, or do we chop it into little pieces first?

Ellie:
[from trailer] I don't see a way out of this.

Jessica:
Well maybe there is.

Mrs. Crenshaw:
[from trailer] Don't think I'm afraid of you. I run a house with 50 crazy b*tches...

[the killer throws a tire iron]

[from trailer]

Jessica:
Please God, don't let me get killed.

Cassidy:
I love you Jessica because you make being a b*tch an art form.

Jessica:
[irritated] Here, here.

Jessica:
I'm gonna deal with you later!

Maggie:
You might wanna deal with that hair first, because it looks like sh*t.

Jessica:
[talking about the pills that Megan swallowed to play the prank] Too bad it doesn't prevent bulimia, that's something Megan could actually use!

Jessica:
Please God don't let me get killed. Please God don't let me get killed.

Cassidy:
Stop giving him ideas.

Jessica:
Oh, Sh*t. Who set the house on fire?

Jessica:
Ellie, no one is dead! Well, Megan.

Jessica:
[Impatiently] What?

Claire:
I keep thinking about that text.

Jessica:
[sighs] Claire! Garrett is a little b*tch. He says we made him kill Megan? As if. Seriously, Clair, grow a pair.

Claire:
Jessica, I've always had your back.

Jessica:
But you've never had a backbone.

Mrs. Crenshaw:
I saw what you did.

Jessica:
We didn't mean to kill Megan.

Mrs. Crenshaw:
Kill Megan? I was talking about trashing my house.

Chugs:
I don't have time to play "Catch me, rape me."

Chugs:
Whatever loser. It's not my fault that you're gay.

Jessica:
Cassidy, my room. Theta toast. Now.

Cassidy:
You seen Andy?

Jessica:
Hoes before bros.

Cassidy:
[while returning to the party] Where is everybody?

Claire:
Probably dead.

Jessica:
Yeah, and the corpses drove their cars home, idiot!

Jessica:
Friend me on Facebook, I'll totally confirm.

Jessica:
Okay, we cannot let Ellie see this text.

[Ellie screams from upstairs]

Jessica:
Sh*t! Too late.

Jessica:
Ugh, This is so stupid. We are missing out on the part of the year.

Cassidy:
I know, how inconvinent. Why couldn't Ellie have had a nervous breakdown tomorrow?

Jessica:
You know Cassidy, your sarcasm makes you sound like a b*tch. And nobody likes a b*tch.

Ellie:
Megan's alive, you guys.

Jessica:
Ellie, you're being borderline retarded right now. She's not alive. Garrett is doing this.

Jessica:
[after finding Megan dead in the shower] Ewww, she looks horrible!

Cassidy:
[Megan's dead body falls out of the shower] MEGAN!

Jessica:
Oh... she looks terrible!

Jessica:
[after running over Garrett with her van] Well, at least we won't be getting anymore of those text messages.

Jessica:
[to Maggie, sarcastically] Oh, no! Don't go out there! [Cassidy shoots a dirty look]... what? I tried to warn her.

Jessica:
Claire. I like being your friend because... it makes me multicultural without having to do anything.

Mrs. Crenshaw:
[Points her gun at Jessica] Talk.

Cassidy:
Okay, listen, it was an accident and we'll explain everything later but right now, Clair is dead, Mickey's dead, Chugs is dead and we don't know if Megan's alive or not.

Maggie:
Wait, so Megan's not dead?

Jessica:
We don't know! We need to get the hell out of here.

Mrs. Crenshaw:
Who else is here?

Jessica:
Kyle.

Mrs. Crenshaw:
Is he in on this thing?

Jessica:
[Unconvincingly] No.

Mrs. Crenshaw:
[C*cks gun, points it back to her] Lie to me again.

Jessica:
Okay, I told Kyle about Megan.

Cassidy:
Of course you did! What's with this ''sisters for life'' crap, huh? Was I the only one that didn't tell anybody?

Mrs. Crenshaw:
Where is Kyle?

Maggie:
Don't look at me! He left as soon as he heard you coming.

Mrs. Crenshaw:
Well, he, she or it is about to get two rounds to the face. You girls wait in Jessica's room. And call the police.

Jessica:
Well, who knew Mrs. Crenshaw was such a bad-ass?

Chugs:
Ellie, I love you because you're always there to help with homework. You're like a spellcheck with a nice rack.

Jessica:
It's Mickey... I would know those ugly ass shoes anywhere.

Cassidy:
Is he dead?

Jessica:
Well, he has a f***ing tire iron through his head... Do you think it's the same one that killed Megan?

Cassidy:
You make it sound like the tire iron killed Megan by itself.

Jessica:
Thank you, for the grammar lesson... I'm just sayin, it looks a little... updated doesn't it? Like someone... pimped it out.

[Jessica is performing mouth-to-mouth CPR on an unresponsive Megan]

Chugs:
That is so hot.

Ellie:
Chugs, please!

[Megan suddenly grabs Jessica by the back of her neck and presses closer in which she finally pulls away]

Megan:
What, no tougne?

Jessica:
Easy now, Lezzie Lohan. This is make believe.

Mrs. Crenshaw:
You stay the f*** away from my girls!

Cassidy:
I love you Jessica, because you make being a b*tch an art form.

Jessica:
[annoyed, but sarcastic] Hear, hear.