Sports Planet

Himself - Host:
Time to answer the eternal question. Who's better at hockey: musicians, or hockey players?

Himself - Host:
Who do you think is a better all-around goaltender: Patrick Roy or Gordon Lightfoot?

Tyler Armes:
Gordon Lightfoot.

Himself - Host:
Why?

Tyler Armes:
Because he's got light feet.

Himself - Host:
It's a lot more delicious to be a fan of maple syrup, you know.

Himself - Host:
Maybe hockey is the problem. Perhaps the Leafs should field a pie-eating team. That Phaneuf looks like he could sure pack away a lot of rhubarb.

Leafs Fan:
They're making a lot of money though.

Himself - Host:
You can get a lot of rhubarb pie for that!

Leafs Fan:
That's right.

Himself - Host:
You guys play against the Washington Generals often. They haven't beaten you since 1971. Will you ever get tired of tormenting those poor bastards?

Himself - Host:
Million of children idolize you across the globe. What do you think needs to be done to bring more showboating into youth sports?

Himself - Host:
How is it that you get the animal to understand you're trying to kill it?

Hunter:
Well, I - that's not what we're trying to get them to understand.

Himself - Host:
Do you think any other sports would benefit from the addition of deadly weapons?

Hunter:
Well, target shooting does...

Himself - Host:
What if they gave baseball shortstops like a crossbow or something?

Hunter:
Well, it'd depend on what he wanted to use the crossbow for.

Himself - Host:
Where is the best location on earth to hunt man?

Hunter:
There is none.

Himself - Host:
Seriously though.

Hunter:
There is none.

Himself - Host:
Seriously.

Hunter:
Unless you're Hitler, there is none.

Himself - Host:
Is it Australia?

Hunter:
...there is none.