Stand and Deliver

Jaime Escalante:
If I teach you sex, I have to give you sex for homework.

Jaime Escalante:
...Did you know that neither the Greeks nor the Romans were capable of using the concept of zero? It was your ancestors, the Mayans, who first contemplated the zero. The absence of value. True story. You *burros* have math in your blood... A negative times a negative equals a positive. Why?

Jaime Escalante:
We're gonna need a lot of Kleenexes - there's gonna be a lot of bloodshed.

Tito:
...Just don't ever let her know that you dig her. That's, like, the worst thing you can do with a woman.

Jaime Escalante:
Go to woodshop and make yourself a shoeshine box. You're gonna need it.

Angel:
You the man, you know? Why don't you put them in college, huh? So dumb taco benders like me can pick their vegetables for them, collect their garbage, clip their poodles' toenails. I may be a sinner, but I'm willing to pay for my sins.

Jaime Escalante:
Right. See you at three.

Angel:
I got more bad news for you, *profe.* I know this is really gonna trip you out, but... I forgot my pencil.

Jaime Escalante:
Tough guys don't do math. Tough guys fry chicken for a living.

Claudia:
You're worried that we'll screw up royally tomorrow, aren't you?

Jaime Escalante:
Tomorrow's another day. I'm worried you're gonna screw up the rest of your lives.

Dr. Ramirez:
How'd you do it?

Angel:
I got the test ahead of time and passed it out to all the others?

Dr. Pearson:
How did you get it?

Angel:
The Mailman

Angel:
I strangled him and his body's decomposing in my locker.

Escalante:
Are your friends auditing?

Jaime Escalante:
Wouldn't want anyone thinking you're intelligent, would you?

Raquel:
Can you have negative girlfriends?

Jaime Escalante:
No, only negative boyfriends. Forgive us, for we know not what we do.

Angel:
Hey, I'm the first one here. What's calcoolus?

Angel:
Yeah, I have the same answer as gordita.

Lupe:
Don't call me gordita, pendejo.

Jaime Escalante:
Do you want me to do it for you?

Pancho:
Yes.

Jaime Escalante:
You're supposed to say no.

Jaime Escalante:
My kids could teach you a thing or two, Johnny.

Jaime A. Escalante:
You're like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there!

Jaime Escalante:
You only see the turn, you don't see the road ahead.

Jaime Escalante:
What'd you got?

Pancho:
I got a core.

Jaime Escalante:
You owe me a hundred percent. And i'll see you in the People's Court.

Lupe:
Kemo, we're seniors. This is our year to slack off

Jaime Escalante:
you think you got it johnny? Think you have the answer?

Tito:
Juan is X, Carlos is Y, Pedro is X + Y. Is Pedro bisexual or straight?

Jaime Escalante:
Sometimes I worry about you.

Jaime Escalante:
It's not that they're stupid, it's just they don't know anything.

Dr. Ramirez:
Nobody has the right to accuse me of racism.

Dr. Ramirez:
Nobody has the right to accuse me of racism.

Jaime Escalante:
Those scores would have never been questioned if my kids did not have Spanish surnames and come from barrio schools. You know that.

Pancho:
I don't need no math. I got a solar calculator with my dozen donuts.

Jaime Escalante:
Now you got a ticket to watch the show

Jaime Escalante:
[to his students] There will be no free rides, no excuses. You already have two strikes against you: your name and your complexion. Because of these two strikes, there are some people in this world who will assume that you know less than you do. Math is the great equalizer... When you go for a job, the person giving you that job will not want to hear your problems; ergo, neither do I. You're going to work harder here than you've ever worked anywhere else. And the only thing I ask from you is ganas. Desire.

[Passing one boy, he ruffles up the students hair]

Jaime Escalante:
And maybe a haircut.

[Everyone laughs]

Jaime Escalante:
If you don't have the ganas, I will give it to you, because I'm an expert.

[Escalante wakes a sleeping Tito in class]

Tito:
I dreamed I was swimming with dolphins whispering imaginary numbers and searching for the fourth dimension.

Jaime Escalante:
Good! Go back to sleep.

[Jaime is eating at the Delgado family's restaurant, speaking with them about Ana's decision to drop out of Garfield High]

Jaime Escalante:
She'll just be a fat winch, waste her life away in your restaurant. You have to understand - she's top student.

Mr. Delgado:
I started washing dishes for a nickel an hour. Now I own this place. Did I waste my life?

Jaime Escalante:
I washed dishes, too, when I first came to this country.

Mr. Delgado:
Good! Why don't you put on an apron and give us a hand?

Jaime Escalante:
Ana could go to college, come back, and teach you how to run this place.

Mr. Delgado:
[He tears up the tab for Jaime's dinner] Professor Escalante, I don't want your money. And I don't need your business.

Jaime Escalante:
[He reaches into his wallet, dropping the money on the table anyway] Tip, for Ana. By the way, I notice you put hot chillies in your dip to sell extra beer - don't you?

Angel Guzman:
We're busted, why don't we just admit it?

Dr. Ramirez:
How'd you do it?

Angel Guzman:
I got the test ahead of time. I passed it out to all the others.

Dr. Pearson:
How did you get the test?

Angel Guzman:
The mailman [pause] I strangled him and his body's decomposing in my locker.

[The other students laugh]

[Angel and the little vato enter the classroom, trailed by another]

Jaime Escalante:
Are your friends auditing?

Thug:
I audited them to come with me.

[Angel doesn't want anyone to see him carrying books around]

Jaime Escalante:
Wouldn't want anyone thinking you're intelligent, would you?

[Jaime is using girlfriends as the variables in an algebraic equation]

Raquel Ortega:
Can you have negative girlfriends?

Jaime Escalante:
No, only negative boyfriends. Forgive them, for they not know what they do.

Angel Guzman:
Hey, aren't you proud of me? I'm the first one here! [pause] What's calcoolus?

Jaime Escalante:
[about Claudia] This girl's gotta do some work from the neck up. We're going to have to stay late again. Of course you know, we have pizza because they deliver. We can get fried chicken, hamburgers with cheese. We'll need donations. No, really, you owe me money anyway. You don't deserve the grades you're getting.

[Claudia gets up and leaves]

Jaime Escalante:
Where are you going? Late for another date? She's got more boyfriends than Elizabeth Taylor.

Claudia Camenjo:
I don't appreciate you using my personal life to entertain this class.

Jaime Escalante:
[before confronting the ETS investigators] You know what kills me... it's that they lost the confidence in the system they're now finally qualified to be a part of. I don't know why I'm losing sleep over this. I don't need it. I could be making more money, with less hours, and have people treat me with respect.

Fabiola Escalante:
Respect? Jaime, those kids love you.

Jaime Escalante:
There's something going on that nobody is talking about! And you know what that is!

Dr. Ramirez:
No one has the right to accuse me of racism. [shouting] NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO ACCUSE ME OF RACISM!

Jaime Escalante:
Do you think the students cheated?

Raquel:
Mr. Escalante, you put these kids under an awful lot of pressure. They would have gone to any lengths to please you.

Jaime Escalante:
You didn't answer my question.

Raquel:
Well... every night when I go to bed, I watch the television news. I see a lot of people go on trial. They always deny everything, or their lawyers say they were insane at the time. A lot of them get off. But I believe that most people who get caught today are guilty. Don't you?

Jaime Escalante:
[angrily] Yup. I know what you mean.

Hey Quimo, you proud of me? I'm the first dude here. Whats's cal culos?