Stella Shorts 1998-2002

Pizza Guy:
You think I'm some sloppy wet p*ssy for you to f***? Is that what you think? You think I'm some sloppy wet p*ssy for you to f***?

Michael Ian Black:
I don't think that.

Michael Showalter:
I don't think that.

David Wain:
I kind of think that.

David Wain:
I'm bored.

Michael Showalter:
David, wait!

David Wain:
But I'm bored.

Michael:
I'm bored too.

Michael Showalter:
I'm starving. What's for lunch?

David Wain:
Michael, there's all sorts of delicious foods to be found in the woods if you just know where to look for them. Like, take a look at this.

Michael Showalter:
Great, frankfurters! Let's make a fire and cook 'em.

David Wain:
Okay, you two go look for wood and meet back here in five minutes.

Michael Ian Black:
Okay, what are you gonna do?

David Wain:
I'm gonna stay here and rub one out.

Michael Ian Black:
Great.

Michael Ian Black:
Hey, look what I found on the street, a kitty cat.

David Wain:
Look at him! He's so cute!

Michael Showalter:
What's his name?

Michael Ian Black:
I thought we could call him Flava Flav.

Michael Showalter:
Oh, like the rapper?

Michael Ian Black:
No, my grandfather's name was Flava Flav.

Michael Showalter:
Hey Mike... is that your final answer?

David Wain:
Suddenly I'm here with Regis! Right there!

Michael Ian Black:
Hey hey hey... I'd like to use a lifeline.

Michael Showalter:
Hey hey hey... don't do that. Wouldn't be prudent.

Michael Ian Black:
That was great, we should use that for STELLA.

Michael Showalter:
(turns to camera)We Just did.

Michael Showalter:
Yeah, well how bout you spread that angel ass and let me get up on there.

Michael Showalter:
So, how was the assf***ing?

Michael Ian Black:
I thought it really hurt. She cut me right in half.

David Wain:
Hey, Mike! If you need us, we're gonna be in the bedroom makin' stains.

Michael Ian Black:
Michael, this is a really bad time for this!

Michael Showalter:
Well I'm sorry.

David Wain:
Sorry's not good enough dickweed! These girls, they want us to put it in their butt.

Michael Showalter:
Fine, I'll make the coffee.

Michael Showalter:
I'm really happy for you all. I just wish my day was as good as yours.

Michael Ian Black:
Well that's your problem. F*** you!

David Wain:
Sorry, Mike. I didn't mean to hit you.

Michael Showalter:
I don't even wanna hear it, David. (Michael proceeds to savagely beat David with everyone else joining in)

Michael Showalter:
Wait! You can't burn a baby!

David Wain:
Haven't you heard of Vietnam? All we did over there was burn babies. Now come on, give me a hand.

Michael Showalter:
I guess you're right.

Michael Showalter:
I just threw your dog out the window... again.