Strange Days

Palmer Strickland:
Nero.

Lenny Nero:
Strickland.

Palmer Strickland:
Comissioner Strickland!

Lenny Nero:
See, since you sh*t-canned my career, I don't even have to call you sir. One of life's small pleasures.

Talk radio host:
Now, just so the, the rest of us know how much time is left, when is the rapture supposed to hit exactly? Is it midnight New Year's Eve?

Lori:
That's right.

Talk radio host:
Aha. Is that midnight L.A. time or, or Eastern Standard Time, or what? I mean, what timezone is God in anyway?

Lenny:
Have you ever been in love with someone who didn't return that love?

Mace:
Yeah, Lenny, I have.

Lenny:
It didn't stop you from loving them, right? Or being able to understand them or forgive them?

Mace:
I guess.

Strickland:
You're a disappointment, Nero. But you know what disappoints me more?

Lenny Nero:
Your sex life?

Lenny:
I didn't know you were color blind, Max.

Max:
It was the only way I could stand your ties.

Jeriko One:
You know what? You've pulled over the wrong black man, Officer Steckler! I'm the 800 pound gorilla in your mist, f***er! I make more money in a day than you make in a whole year! And my lawyer loves sending sorryass Aryan RoboCop f***ers like you to jail!

Jeriko One:
You're gonna be in my next song. It's called "RoboSteckler." It's about a cop who met his worst nightmare: a nigga with enough political juice to squash your ass like a stinkbug! You gonna be famous, f***er!

Jeriko One:
You love that red, white, and blue, but you hate that black, black, black.

Max:
Cheer up. The world's about to end in ten minutes anyway.

Lenny Nero:
This is not like "TV-only-better"... this is life.

Lenny Nero:
See... I can get you what you want, I can. I can get you anything, you just have to talk to me, you have to trust me. You can trust me, 'cause I'm your priest, I'm your shrink... I am you main connection to the switchboard of he soul. I'm the magic man... Santa Claus of the subconscious. You say it, you think it, you can have it.

Lenny Nero:
This tie cost more than your entire wardrobe... it's the one thing that stands between me and the jungle.

Lenny Nero:
Two million years of human evolution and that's the best idea you can come up with.

Lenny Nero:
Look... everyone needs to take a walk to the dark end of the street sometimes, it's what we are.

Lenny Nero:
Bullet-resistant? What ever happened to bullet-proof?

Max:
He's still workin' the party... actin' smooth like nothin's nothin'.

Lenny Nero:
This is what we laughingly refer to as a plan, right?

Mace:
This is your life, right here, right now! It's real-time, you hear me, real time! Time to get real, not playback. You understand me?

Faith:
I like the feeling of someone watching me.

Tick:
One man's mundane and desperate existence is another man's Technicolor.

Lenny:
I am the magic man. I am your link to the subconscious. I have what you want. I can get you what you can't have.

Mace:
Memories are meant to fade. They're designed that way for a reason.

Philo Gant:
Paranoia is just reality on a finer scale.

Lenny:
His ass is so tight, when he farts only dogs can hear it.

Max:
The issue's not whether you're paranoid, Lenny, I mean look at this sh*t, the issue is whether you're paranoid enough.

Philo:
The only time a whore should open her mouth is when she is giving head.

Faith Justin:
You know one of the ways movies are still better than playback? The music comes up, there's credits, and you always know when it's over.

Faith Justin:
IT'S OVER!

Lenny Nero:
Right now his frontal lobes are like two runny eggs.

Max Peltier:
You put that thing on the 11 o'clock news and by midnight you'll have the biggest riot in history. They'll see the smoke from Canada.

Max Peltier:
The issue isn't whether you're paranoid, but whether you're paranoid enough.

Max:
Well, I've lost my appetite.

Max:
For about a year.

Mace:
I can't believe you had to give them the damn tape.

Lenny Nero:
Yeah I know. It was one of my favorites: me and Faith in the hot tub on my birthday.

Lenny Nero:
Are we impressed yet?

Mace:
Yeah... pretty impressed.

Faith:
You wanna watch or you gonna do?

Talk radio host:
So Dan, are you looking forward to the new year?

Dan:
Not really. I mean, what's the point? Nothing changes on New Year's Day. The economy sucks. Gas is over three bucks a gallon. Fifth grade kids are shooting each other at recess. The whole thing sucks, right? So what the hell are we celebrating?

Lenny:
Now listen. I want you to know what we're talking about here, OK? This is not like TV, only better. This is life. It's a piece of somebody's life. It's pure, uncut, straight from the cerebral cortex. I mean, you're there. You're doing it. You're seeing it. You're hearing it. You're feeling it.

Keith:
What kind of things, exactly?

Lenny:
Exactly anything. Whatever you want. Whoever you want to be, OK? You want to go skiing without leaving your den — you can. But I'm assuming that a guy like you — if you want to go skiing you'd fly to Aspen. That's not what you're interested in here. It's about the stuff you can't have, right? The forbidden fruit, like running into a liquor store with a .357 magnum in your hand, feeling the adrenaline pumping through your veins. Or … you see the guy over there with the drop-dead Filipino girlfriend? Wouldn't you like to be that guy for twenty minutes — the right twenty minutes? Yeah. I can make it happen, and you won't even tarnish your wedding ring.

Keith:
That sounds good.

Lenny:
I can get you what you want. I can. I can get you anything. You just have to talk to me. You have to trust me, OK? Trust me. I'm your priest. I'm your shrink. I am your main connection to the switchboard of souls. I'm the magic man, the Santa Claus of the subconscious. You say it — you think it — you can have it. Do you want a girl? Do you want two girls? I mean, I don't know what your thing is, what you're curious about. Do you want a guy? Maybe you want to be a girl. Hey, think of that: be a girl. See what that feels like. I mean, maybe you want a nun to tie you up. It's all doable.

Steckler:
You're that rapper, Jeriko One? You're the one that's been getting all the gang-bangers together, going downtown, forming citizen groups, trying to rake the LAPD over a cheese grater?

Jeriko One:
Yeah, that's right. And you're gonna be in my next song. It's gonna be called "Robo-Steckler." It's all about a cop who has his worst nightmare: a nigga with enough political juice to squash his ass like a stinkbug. You're gonna be famous, f***er!

Lenny:
Have you ever been in love with somebody who didn't return that love?

Mace:
Yeah, Lenny. I have.

Lenny:
It didn't stop you from loving them. Right? Or understanding them, or being able to forgive them.

Mace:
I guess.

Lenny:
And it didn't stop you from wanting to protect them. Did it?

Mace:
No, it didn't.

Max:
Only he doesn't know about me and Faith. So I say to myself: If I turn the job down, he just gets somebody else, and I lose Faith — to coin a phrase. So to buy time I do the skank. I still gotta do something about Tran. I figure it's him or me, but I can't cap him without a chump to take the fall. And who better than his girlfriend's loser ex-boyfriend, a known criminal who has been seen hassling them in public numerous times?

Lenny Nero:
And who was, regrettably, also your best f***ing friend.

Max:
No plan is perfect, Lenny. Hey, cheer up. World's gonna end in ten minutes anyway.

Max:
You know how I know it’s the end of the world? Everything's already been done. Every kind of music’s been tried. Every kind of government’s been tried, every f***ing hairstyle, bubble gum flavors, you know, breakfast cereal. What are we going to do? How are we going to make another thousand years? I’m telling you, man, it’s over. We used it all up.

Jeriko One: (rap lyrics) ... and you watch us take it all and then you'll understand our pain! We'll make you the rat that crawled through the cracks. You love that red, white and blue but you hate that black-black-black. And you try to make me think I did this to myself, when the drugs I smoke and the guns I tote both came from your shelf! … But I never had a dream, cuz. My life is a nightmare. America's been my bogey-man for four hundred years!

Jeriko One:
The mayor and the city council sit up in their offices with their social programs that don't work. These people are rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, but the new day is coming. 2K is coming! The day of reckoning is upon us. History ends and begins again — Right here! Right now!